reply to post by liam8126
I understand where you are coming from, I lived a very similar childhood.
First, you will be unable to change his mind, why? For various reasons but the most important, he doesn't want his mind changed.
Second, while I do understand, trust me, you are acting selfish. You are so fixated on changing your fathers mind, you dont stop to question your own
mind and actions. Take a moment to reflect, your father does not act the way he does without reason, or causal affect. How you are behaving is
influencing his actions, not all the time, but sometime yes. If you think about it like this, as cause and effect, you will then understand it is not
your father who behaves this way without reason. Your actions are influencing his actions, vice versa. While your father probably is in the wrong at
least some time, dont try to come at him as if he is broken and needs fixing. Speak to him on a peer level. Your guys are caught in a feedback loop,
perpetually frustrating and acting out against each other.
Really what you are failing to see is this. Narrow minded is a subjective and relative term. He is only narrow minded to somone who is more open
minded. To somoene more narrow minded, he is openminded.
Stop thinking he is wrong, broken, narrow minded, ignorent. He may very well be all of those things, but these are only symptoms of the real
The real issue is your relation ship with each other. Somewhere the relationship has deteriorated, you do not respect his opinion, he does not
respect yours, and it sounds like both of you are starting to do things out of spite.
I dont think you understand your hypocricy, even if you are lets say right. You are asking us for advice on how to change his thinking, thats
assuming his thinking is wrong. Thats assuming your thinking is right. There is no right and wrong, only the perception of such things. You need to
learn to tolerate and understand his point of views, just as he should tolerate and understand yours.
Why do you think you should be given the authority to change him? Should he not then have the same authority to change your point of view? or
There are some very serious things you should be asking your self, and you are developing a mindset that is not going to suit you well in your
I want you to know I am not blameing you for anything, but it doesn't seem as if you are questioning your self, your thoughts, your actions, so thats
what my post focused on.
For every time you are upset with him, take a moment and ask your self if you may be contributing to his behavior, or if your the one being narrow
minded. If you conclude your thoughts, motives, actions, points of views, are pure in nature and heart, then you need to move on to accaptance. You
will not change him, stop putting so much effort into it. Congratulate your self for being who you are, intelligent and openminded, and different
from your father in better ways, but then accept and love him for who he is.
When you learn to accept him for who he is, in the end he may suprise you with how open minded he is.