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Originally posted by Shdak
reply to post by slapjacks
There is no communicating with a passive aggressive, they will turn things around on you...compromise yes, and that hard to do also... but it works
Originally posted by InTheLight
You should be communicating with her and not strangers on a forum. Unless, of course, you are just looking for sympathy from the woman haters.
Been married 25 years, and for the most part I ignore the above, I know I should have ran a long time ago… but I didn’t, mostly for my child’s sake, who knows?,
Funny thing that my son (25 years old now) asked me a couple of years ago… Why are you still married? I couldn’t live like that…
Originally posted by Evanzsayz
reply to post by Shdak
Sounds like you and her need some distance. That's what happens when 2 people live together for years on end. They start hating everything about eachother and everything you do annoys them (especially women).
Originally posted by Shdak
My wife turns everything I say against me, she has constant and inappropriate criticism about me when we are alone, and is always defensive when it comes to her own actions; she can’t take the slightest remark against her. She never appreciates things that are done around the home, she has no intimacy and leans towards a sexless marriage. She hates it when I talk with friends, or when I plan on doing some sort of social thing like fishing, going to a ball game, target shooting, etc… even though she says it’s OK to do it, I can still see it in her expressions.
Seeking revenge by refusing to act.
Modes and Techniques
Here are some of the passive aggressive ways people express their anger:
Grin fake: Saying “yes” and smiling pleasantly while meaning “no way”.
Denying hostility; “who me?”
Exploiting plausible deniability; “I never would have done that.”
Looking good while doing bad.
Delay and other forms of obstruction.
The “silent treatment” and other forms of pouting and playing the victim.
Stonewalling; stalling or delaying especially by refusing to answer questions or cooperate.
Manipulation; controlling people without letting them know you are doing so. Acting outside of trust.
Passive withdrawal, lack of response, lack of cooperation, sabotage, covert revenge.
Suffering in silence . . . while fueling resentment, justifying retaliation, and expecting to gain leverage, pity, or salvation for your suffering.
Playing the victim, feigning powerlessness, pretending you don't have any choices, denying your responsibility.
Playing the martyr—publicly selecting (or acquiescing to) an undesirable alternative for the purpose of justifying revenge or extracting pity.
Talking about your adversary while never talking to him about the troubling behavior.
Fueling the Fire
A particularly destructive cycle happens when a passive aggressive response is used in a relationship with an overtly hostile or violent adversary. The overtly hostile person is provoked into performing a particularly violent anger display. This is then used to justify the passive aggressive response: “I'll show him and I refuse to become violent like he is.” This hostile inaction fuels the rage of the overtly hostile partner and the cycle continues or escalates. End the cycle by working together to travel down a constructive anger path.
Originally posted by UnifiedSerenity
reply to post by Rubic0n
You obviously did not grasp the meaning of my post. The point of it had nothing to do with "permission" to share. The point was you are hearing one side of the story. I imagine she could share a lot about him that he is not sharing. Frankly, I find this sort of post the op made of little help. How can you or I give advice when we truly cannot know any more than what he is telling. I have no clue what he is like. I have no clue what he does or does not do to help or what she does or does not do, and neither do you.