I Was a Victim: The Steubenville Rape Case is Not Isolated!!

reply to post by quietlearner


The difference is you call it "naive and ignorant", i call it individual responsibility.

If i go to sleep leaving the door open, should i partially be blame for the theft? i made the decision to leave door open, the robber is always the constant, another absolute variable. Only thing i can do is reduce the probability of my things getting stolen.

*whoa whats with people bringing in child molestation/abuse in here? is that suppose to provoke people's emotion?.. the logic has been thrown out most of the time in this thread just because people using bunch of straw-man to relate to child molestation and child abuse(not same as adult rape).

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by quietlearner
[more*whoa whats with people bringing in child molestation/abuse in here? is that suppose to provoke people's emotion?.. the logic has been thrown out most of the time in this thread just because people using bunch of straw-man to relate to child molestation and child abuse(not same as adult rape).

edit on 3/21/2013 by luciddream because: (no reason given)

I was 15 when I was kidnapped and raped by a 37 year old stranger, my daughter was 15 when she and a friend were raped by 5 strangers between the ages of 16 and 40.

First degree rape, kidnapping, sodomy, attempted murder were the charges in my stories. I fail to see some major difference between what you deem to be "child molestation" and "rape." It's all pretty horrific, IMO. No child nor grown person is responsible for someone else raping or molesting them.

You're splitting hairs.

Originally posted by Soloprotocol
reply to post by lnfideI

 

why would i be making it up......welcome to west central Scotland on a usual saturday party night...

Well, you make it sound like you were just enjoying a typical Saturday night party. That's not how I would describe my personal experiences with rape.

Originally posted by Soloprotocol
reply to post by lnfideI

 

why would i be making it up......welcome to west central Scotland on a usual saturday party night...

Then # 1 is the most appropriate for your unique situation right?

reply to post by MotherMayEye


when ever child molestation or abuse is mentioned in a thread, logic goes out the door and just blind rage and emotions.

The difference would be that child cannot be held responsible, unlike an adult who makes bad decision. Combing both as same just looking to bunch them together to justify that they are the same. but it is not, a child being molested/rape is far more cruel than getting passed out after overloading on alcohol in a bad neighhbourhood with no friends to watch your back.

im a guy and i still have friends takecare of me and vice versa if any situation goes out of control(fights, black out etc) or i could be irresponsible and run out to a high speed road while drunk.

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by MotherMayEye

 

when ever child molestation or abuse is mentioned in a thread, logic goes out the door and just blind rage and emotions.

The difference would be that child cannot be held responsible, unlike an adult who makes bad decision. Combing both as same just looking to bunch them together to justify that they are the same. but it is not, a child being molested/rape is far more cruel than getting passed out after overloading on alcohol in a bad neighhbourhood with no friends to watch your back.

im a guy and i still have friends takecare of me and vice versa if any situation goes out of control(fights, black out etc) or i could be irresponsible and run out to a high speed road while drunk.

My daughter is 21 now. She is still developmentally delayed and she is still prone to making very bad choices. Yet, your standard is that if she finds herself in a situation that became the scene and circumstance of her rape then she bears some responsibility...if YOU decide, in hindsight, that she should have known better.

It's nonsense. Not everyone has the same level of intellect and those without a certain level of awareness and intellect -- to be determined by YOU -- are not responsible for some rapist's poor decisions and actions.

Rape is illegal, all the crap you are tacking on to it is not found on the law books for a very good reason.

Originally posted by luciddreamim a guy and i still have friends takecare of me and vice versa if any situation goes out of control(fights, black out etc) or i could be irresponsible and run out to a high speed road while drunk.

And BTW, what if one of your friends who is supposed to be taking care of you leaves or fails to protect you while you're passed out and some other guys take pics of you with their d*cks on your face, shove their cell phone up your @ss, and anally ram you? So you wake up the next day and see them on FB and say "Oh, that's MY bad, I shouldn't have passed out and counted on someone else to take care of me. I take responsibility for being sexually assaulted and humiliated?"

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by quietlearner

 

The difference is you call it "naive and ignorant", i call it individual responsibility.

If i go to sleep leaving the door open, should i partially be blame for the theft? i made the decision to leave door open, the robber is always the constant, another absolute variable. Only thing i can do is reduce the probability of my things getting stolen.

but you are assuming the the would be victim knew that her actions would lead to rape
if you knew leaving the window open would end up in a robbery and still did then you do share some of the blame, but not the blame of the crime (very important distinction here)
the crime is still carried by only the robber
but what if you didn't know that leaving the window open would lead to being robbed?
what if you didn't know the robber is always a constant?
I doubt rape victims knew that rapists were always a constant
most rapes are done by people who the victim knew, therefore trusted
I stand by the "naive and ignorant" argumen

meant door not "window" still the same thing

In quiet towns some people leave their doors open
are they all to blame if they are robbed?
when all their lives they left the door open and no robbery happened
in other towns people used to leave the cars unlocked
are they all to blame if the car is stolen?

sorry for the massive edits

reply to post by luciddream


The flaw in your logic is that you are assuming rape victims knew they were setting the stage for rape
It is clear by the shock of being raped that none of the victims knew they were setting the stage
and like MotherMayEye has pointed out some didn't even, by any means, "set the stage"

reply to post by luciddream

double post

To the OP. I am so sorry. Some people are just evil. I for one could never force myself on anyone. Even knowingly sleeping with a married woman or someones G/F is a slime ball thing to do IMO its lines we should not cross. If a guy has to rape then he is one sad puppy. Absolutely no respect. I hope you can get past this some day.

reply to post by DoubleDNH


That's comparing apples to oranges. You cannot equate losing money with being raped. The two aren't even remotely related. I've lost money and I've been sexually assaulted. I can tell you I forgot about the money but I'll never forget being violated.

reply to post by luciddream


No.

People don't magically decide to steal. So leaving your door open is irrelevant, they still came in and stole your things.


The judge isn't going to reduce their sentence of theft because you didn't close your door.

I've read a lot of your posts lucid dream. I'm thoroughly convinced you're a total idiot.

reply to post by Miraj

I'm thoroughly convinced you're a total idiot.

Oh damn!, going after the players instead of the ball, huh? you must be pro at analyzing people over the internet.

Haha, internet tough guys...

reply to post by quietlearner


They might not be doing it consciously but sub consciously. Again the whole "naive/ignorant", self responsibility.

Do you admit i can make myself a target over another person for the rapist? where i can be picked out of a bunch?

I know if i wanted i can get myself robbed if i wanted. Just gotta pick some bad area and over glorify myself with things.


I think main problem here is people actually want to reason with the rapist, and include them in the discussion(that's why i mentioned that they are the constant). The truth is rapist are there, and we don't know until the actual event.

In my opinion Rapist are a 18 wheeler coming at high speed. My choice to avoid it or not.

reply to post by MotherMayEye

Not everyone has the same level of intellect and those without a certain level of awareness and intellect -- to be determined by YOU

Then the person who takes care of them need to control things until they can take care of themselves. The parents have to take the initiate to see if their kids is ready to go into the real world by themselves. If a 12 yr old gets raped, thee parents were not careful enough(rapists is always the problem, they are out there.). Blaming rapists(even if its 100% their fault) for it will just make the problem reoccur.

what if one of your friends who is supposed to be taking care of you leaves or fails to protect you while you're passed out

They never done that to me in 20 yrs, so i guess i got good friends.

reply to post by luciddream


I don't completely diagree with some of your points...as I shared in my last post it's not a good idea to put oneself in "harm's way"...and like you I was lucky enough to have good friends that had my back.

The problem I have with some of your posts is what I see as insensativity toward the victims, and frankly I see this thread as an opportunity for people to share thier stories in a safe forum...and hopefully help in thier healing process, not a place to be "scolded" that somehow they could have prevented the attacks....it's beside the point at this point for them...and do you think if this happens while they participated in risky behavior...they don't have that burden to bare already along with living with the pain of being raped......

If I have this right your a 20yr old male and have not raised kids yet, correct me if I'm wrong. Until you have raised a teenager you have no idea how devious they can be if they want to go to a party you wouldn't allow them to go to...now if a teenager / college student gets raped because they did a stupid thing against thier parents wishes...does that make it any less awful ? Do you think the parents of that teenager / college student don't eat thier hearts out with grief that they should have somehow prevented the attack? It's really easy to say this would never happen to my daughter or son, until it does happen.

If your the age I think, it was a young man that protected me and set me straight about how my reckless behavior made me look and how dangerous it was...nothing my parents had not already told me...but for some reason when it came from him it was very powerful...I hope you will use your passion to protect and educate the young women in your life....

reply to post by MountainLaurel


Thank you for not assaulting me because of the way i try to discuss this topic.

Do i feel bad for the victims? and people that shared their stories on this thread? Absolutely.

But should i be emotional and politically correct when having this discussion? of course not, that's why my posts seems insensitive, because i'm not blinded by emotion and looking at this logically.

i'm 27, i met my friends when i was 7 yrs old, been with for 20 yrs thick and thin, trouble and happiness. No way im going to trust someone i met in class or at a club.

I understand telling victim to take responsibility is a cruel think to do(after it has happened), but if people are more cautious in parties, clubs, or at friend's friend house... many can be avoided.

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by quietlearner

 

They might not be doing it consciously but sub consciously. Again the whole "naive/ignorant", self responsibility.

In my opinion Rapist are a 18 wheeler coming at high speed. My choice to avoid it or not.

I'm pretty tolerant of other's opinions. I've posted some stuff that wasn't PC too.

But your posts are scary.

No one can live their lives 100% avoiding assualt. Since you used driving as an example. Remember when you first started driving? Aren't you more aware now? Are you a perfect defensive driver? Do you ever look down at your radio? Reach down for a sip of water? That's when someone takes their 18 wheeler and intentially slams into them.

There are moments in everyone's life when they wil be at risk. You can't live your life risk free.

I guess discussing this will be impossible without emotion being flung around... so i will finish with this statement.

Predators will always target the weakest of prey, its up to the prey to do whatever the cautious thing to keep avoiding and surviving.

It was an interesting discussion.


*/bows out*