originally posted by: Itisnowagain
a reply to: Lux96
An awakening is usually very obvious - a glimpse of oneness is incredible, mind blowing.
Please clarify (if possible).
I'll try to describe it in the most clear situation I can, but it's actually a story of my entire life, because of the search, but let's just say
alot of incredible expreriences happened during my lifetime. Mostly were dark and aggresive in nature, battering me to something immensly powerless.
It kind of purified me in a way. I guess we can look at that as step 1, though it might not be neccesary, I'm speaking of my own personal
Then after years of truthseeking, going crazy, have psychotic episodes and what not. I was at a party.. And I was still very judgemental towards the
darkness for kinda "ruining" my life, though they have made me ALOT better person than I was before, so I am gratefull, but at that time I was
convicting them, I was blaming them and casting a judgement for all the bad things happening. I got into discussions with people but there was one
guy.. Kinda mysterious, he was constantly saying, you're not going to get there, you're not going to get there...
Finally I walk off, on my own, still amongst the people on the dancefloor, it was an outside festival..
I started thinking and then it HIT me, like lightning. The thought was: Good and Evil or not neccesarily enemies. Or atleast that was the general
thought behind the event.
Suddenly I become overpowered, it is too much for my head to process, if feel a little dizzy but also quite alot ashamed, because I have always been
fighting the darkness and now I felt I was wrong the entire time.
I actually cried, in the car of my friend, alone, cause it was too much for me to handle I retreated to his car where I could be on my own and start
to slowly process the information while no one is looking at me.
And that was the strange part, as soon as it HIT, EVERYBODY was smiling ever so friendly to me, even the most pretty girls were all smiling at me (and
I'm a guy, you know, things like that are quite noticable, especially if under normal conditions nobody really looks at you or atleast not noticable)
and even people I came across said: Positive huh? Even though I didn't start to talk to them, the guy who said: you're not going to get there said
then: Are you still thinking the same as before? And smiled.
I was indeed blown away.
Well, because of the darkness in my life, I was having energy problems everyday, as being sucked out the life. My life energy was being drained at the
time, but that duality insight changed my whole life. My life went from Hell, to Heaven in just one day, in fact, in just one thought.
I regained my energy and all my emotions, I could laugh again, I could cry again, I WAS ALIVE! I had risen again.
Now the reason for the darkness was somewhat my own fault I think, so I payed a price a hefty psychotic episode and 5 years of emotional and mental
And now I was liberated.
I started dancing and laughing like a madman and everybody wasn't looking weird at me or laughing at me, they were laughing with me! It's a totally
different smile and also I noticed the music changed a little bit, it was constantly steriotypic kind of music, but then it changed to more my taste,
a little slower and alot of inspiring quotes, there even was a song that I would describe as: Christmass but then without the "Holy".
I felt complete with the world and the Universe. Everything was perfect. Now I remember the whole scenario I am sitting here with a smile because it
just overjoys me.
Nowadays, I think I have somewhat reverted back to a more "normal" state, I don't feel that blissful anymore, but the experience will always be in
my mind. I am trully blessed tho, even though my life is pretty sad, I am happy and gratefull to be alive and to be experiencing all this.
Thank both the light and the dark for contributing to the Whole.
I think I can write more about it but I rather leave it at this. What do you think?