I dumped my boyfriend last night.

reply to post by DeadSeraph



im not old fashioned i just dont waste time.

2nd.

reply to post by miss_sky


I've resized your avatar so that it doesn't repeat on the side

Hope you don't mind



Cody

Okay so who is it?

Tylerdurden1
Okay so who is it?

Its me

2nd...

reply to post by jheated5


For real? Thats cool. Just do me one favour? Dont get all mushy on threads...LOL.

I really hate when I notice the OP date after I have already replied ...

Please don't be hard on my gf.... We've been together for almost a year, I've known her for 15 we were off and on throughout the years.... No its serious and I do believe I found my soulmate, Im at that age now where I feel I can settle down, she's 36 I'm 30 but she doesn't seem like she wants to settle down anytime soon... Instead of the negative comments can you please wish us luck.... I'd really appreciate it! Thanks in advance!


OOPS I'm on her account by mistake right now, I'm jheated sorry

Please don't be hard on my gf.... We've been together for almost a year, I've known her for 15 we were off and on throughout the years.... No its serious and I do believe I found my soulmate, Im at that age now where I feel I can settle down, she's 36 I'm 30 but she doesn't seem like she wants to settle down anytime soon... Instead of the negative comments can you please wish us luck.... I'd really appreciate it! Thanks in advance!

FIXED

Apathy: Showing people you don't care.

Great for you

Bicent76
reply to post by miss_sky

 

sounds like neither one of you were really mature about this relationship..

One of the things about being an adult is growing up...


Not sure what to make of your tirade about you relationship problems, its obvious thou you did not love the guy.... If you did you would not be complaining to strangers all over the world about him..

maybe the guy is sick, defiantly a communication problem, sounds depressed to me..


Learn from this I guess and grow up give yourself some respect and keep your personal affairs, personal...

I know....... Its tough being an adult.

edit on 13-2-2013 by Bicent76 because: (no reason given)

Bicent 76,
I agree with your assessment above of Miss Sky.

I do not believe Miss Sky is mature enough to love the man verses the "Appearance of Love or the Appearance of a relationship..

I also detect something else about Miss Sky. That they may well be high maintenance.

She expects at least one hour of conversation via phone every night with this man or her man.
This makes me wonder how this woman at 35 years olde would have fared in the days before cell phones or cheap long distance or even before telephones.

What is obvious to me is that with Miss Sky's maintenance requirements for a relationship ...one very important item a man will never get from her is "Peace".

He will always have to settle for "Piece." Not a good trade off to a man who knows the difference. Always .."Peace" is more valuable and takes more commitment than "Piece."

The amount of self promotion by Miss Sky tells me that Peace is a commodity she knows little about.

The guy should have known enough to explain this to her and make it clear. I think the guy may have been more feminine than her. Meaning weaker. Meaning she can pick them.




A woman who can bring a knowlegeable man ..Peace..is a woman who can put a man on a drug for which he never wants to get off it. This is obviously not the case with Miss Sky.

A man who is a man can get a woman to take off her clothes. That is not a rare or valuable commodity and most certainly will not go extinct any time soon. Lots of competition out there in this arena. But a woman who can bring a man Peace...that is indeed a rare and valuable commodity out here in a world full of two legged wildlife.

I hope this sinks in Miss Sky ..with the next male down the road.
For it is obvious by so many of the posts on ATS Relationships that this is a foreign concept and understanding not only to the females but to the males as well.

Thanks to all for their posts,
Orangetom

hay this is a conspiracy site so with that HAVE you checked for aids as that guy seemed sick was he thin sweat a lot

better safe

reply to post by orangetom1999



wow thanks for taking the time to do a huge personality assessment on me. thanks for your time. other than that i dont know what else to say....this is a relationship forum am i correct? on any relationship forum people post issues they are having, look for advice..etc etc. i have no idea how this corresponds to me being an adult.

its funny how people can come on here and post about who they think a person is and what they think a person is like on someone they never even met before. you dont even know me yet your judging me by one thread??

theres my input on the matter!

reply to post by orangetom1999


Okay just to let you know, since the OP she has gotten a new bf, which is me.... I will agree even though I'm 6 years younger she is less mature than I am when it comes to how to handle relationships. For right now we're happy, that may change if she can't learn to mature a little more. I'm trying hard to show her the errors in her ways and hopefully some of that will stick. Anyways thanks for your continued support ATS!

reply to post by jheated5


immature? whose 30 years old and still living with daddy and has no job and doesn't even know how to support himself?

immature?? just because you don't get your way all the time?

yeah...that's what I thought.

reply to post by miss_sky


No problem Miss SKy and Jheated5.

its funny how people can come on here and post about who they think a person is and what they think a person is like on someone they never even met before. you dont even know me yet your judging me by one thread??

Not just by one thread..but by many posts within that thread. By being able to see what is there and what is not there.

You are welcome for the personality assessment. Free..no cover charge.

Now this here Miss Sky..spoke volumes to me when reading over some 7 pages of your posts.

im not old fashioned i just dont waste time.

2nd.

For the young man on here whom you are currently seeing...think this through carefully what I am going to say here. Get out of the sports conditioning to run touchdowns for a woman or female attention and think carefully..do not emote..but think.

I have dated older women for most of my life. Older women taught me alot about the female of the species without intending to so do. For women do not teach you about women only to lose you to the next woman..they are not that noble.

What you learn when you begin pulling your head out of your backside and getting a breath of fresh air is that men are often in error in thinking that they are the primordal hunter gatherer. Just because a woman or female does not hunt as does a male does not mean that she is not hunting and gathering. Females often hunt males...and get the males to think it was all their idea. Understand? This is very important to your survival in this mine field out here.

Older women often hunt younger men because they are more inexperienced..and easier to control by beauty, sex, ..sexuality and other female characteristics.

It took me years to figure out this pattern ..and I am talking about pattern recognition here. As a male ...we are often blindsided by beauty, sex , sexuality and our ignorance in trying out for female approval.

Trying out for female approval comes from years and years of sports conditioning to run touchdowns without ever asking ourselves what is the real nature of what is going on out here.

This is why for the man or male who knows..Peace is the most valuable commodity a woman or female can bring to him..not Piece..understand now??

Most women and females have never run into a man or male who can hold them to this understanding. This because so many men and males are blindsided by sports conditioning to run touchdowns for the female and family ..no matter what is cost them..even if they have to put their head on the railroad track constantly and hope they dont get run over.

The tell tale sign that this touchdown conditioning is taking place is that you must needs constantly run her programs and not your programs. You are constantly making adjustments to her needs and not yours. No Peace but plenty of Piece ...or the Piece is carefully metered out against running touchdowns.

I have taught several males to think this through and some of them, when their women came out with the standard olde line about "You come to me for only one thing." .....they cut their women off quickly and explained to them with no doubt that they can get women to take off their clothes..and they also knew some women whose only life skill and tool was taking off their clothes in lieu of real intrinsic value and knowledge.
These men all told me that never again did their women try this control tack or method on them.

This forces a woman to apply real skills and methods to a man..not ersatz techniques. For it takes sex and sexuality out of the arena.

I am not downplaying sex and sexuality but only sex and sexual politics. Do you understand the difference?? Jheated5??

You will find much of this informations in a book by Warren Farrell...titled

Why Men Are The Way They Are

www.amazon.com...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1393694478&sr=1-1&keywords=why+men+are+the+way+they+are

While I had been thinking along these lines when I ran into this book...Warren Farrel was the first to put it in one format for ones consideration.

What I also discovered about this book is that most of the women out here reject it...wholesale. Only a handful will admit that what Warren Farrell speaks is true.
This is important to dealing with the reality one sees and lives out here.

You make up your mind.

But the information is out here by Warren Farrel..either in book form or in U Tube video..just type in Warren Farrell..U tube and learn..think ...and learn. Do not emote.

There is nothing wrong with a good woman..but they are difficult to find out here in the face of all this cheap phony merchandizing. Good men too.
To many have bought into cheap templates.

It is not in good times where you find your womans worth..per se..but in hard times. Same too for a man.

Gotta go ..lots to do here.

Orangetom

reply to post by orangetom1999


thanks again for putting so much into your replies.

whats wrong with" im not old fashioned i just dont waste time."

been there done that...had myself a wreck over guys in the past, to me its not worth it. now I dust myself off and get back out there...sorry not going to let a guy break me ever again and sit in the corner crying over him.

miss_sky

thanks again for putting so much into your replies.

You are certainly welcome Miss Sky. Hope it helps and sets in to do you some good.

whats wrong with" im not old fashioned i just dont waste time."

There is nothing wrong with olde fashioned. Also nothing wrong with not wasting time.
However ..it totally misses the point I am attempting to get across here on this thread.

Remember..I've dated mostly older women out here. It is obvious to m e that you are not accustomed to dealing with a man but more males whom you can control to your needs or likes. This is why I state Peace is beyond your capabilities. But Piece is not.

Women who know ..have taught me that there is a difference in a male and a man.
Reading your posts from the beginning of this thread to the end I ask myself what of real intrinsic value do you have to offer in the marketplace against the competition.
For I know that women and females understand competition far more acutely and in depth than most males ever will.

What is it which sets you apart from most of the females out here that a man would find irresistable. Irresistable like a drug for which a man would never want to get off it.

from page 2 of this thread.

That's totally your choice to think I'm needy. But let me explain myself. I believe for a long distance relationship to work (we only see each other on the weekend) therefore, I think its important to stay in touch during the week through phone calls, text, and Skype. Now if it was a local relationship there wouldn't be a need for all that. So I don't consider myself needy.

This is very self centered..also controlling. Not a characteristic which would endear a man who knows to a woman. You do not mention what dangers or Risks this man took for his monies...monies which would pay for phone calls, texts, computer time et al.
Are his "Risks" disposable and expendable for your view and understanding of how the world should work?? Your quote above comes across as very self centered. Not needy but controlling.
There is more of this pattern in your posts to come.

Here from page 3

apology excepted, and no i have never wanted kids. Just not for me, i'll stick with my cats

This to me is confirmation of the belief system of "I'm sitting on the only one in town."
Your cats are more worthy than the guy in whom you are having a relationship. This is a no brainer.
I like cats too..even more than most people..but I do not put them above the woman with whom I am in attendence. Common sense is it not??

This also tells me that it is your way or the highway...you will decide for both you and the man with whom you are in attendance. He may marry you ..but you will do the thinking and emoting for both of you...buy default. It matters not in a relationship..what he thinks or wants desires or for what he willing to work and take RISKS..but only your side of the story and view.

for a long distance relationship where couples only see each other once a week yes i do think texts throughout the day, even if just to say im thinking about you, and no i dont think an hour phone call each night is too much to ask for either. but thats just me. to each his own. im not the type to be a part time girlfriend.

Here..confirmation of your high maintenance costs. Also I see now that one of the other posters..Advantage ..Picked up on it as did I.
I notice this trait very quickly in a person. Their maintenance costs.

Once again..YOu did not mention what this person does for a living...what kind of Risks they take for their monies. This is important ..as people who take risks for their monies often desire Peace when they are not working. A man who is a man can get Peace on their own without a woman. Ideally they would like Peace with a woman.
Not difficult to understand if you have ever put your life and person at risk for your monies. Your self centeredness tells me you may never have never done this and this is why you think you can afford rose coloured glasses about a relationship.

Its obvious I didn't love the guy cause I'm simply telling my story to vent and get opinions? I put my heart and soul into this relationship, and I see nothing wrong with venting about your problems in life. As a matter of fact sometimes venting on a forum where you don't know anyone is betree. If anyone needs to Adult its you.

Wow...thanks for the confirmation of what I was stating!!

I am going to tell you a story which I have told here on ATS and other blogs several times about my friend across the river and what happened when we compared notes on women.
His wife had died and he was back on the marketplace ..so to speak. Back in the dating scene. What he told me was quite profound though I had recognized it but in a different way. What he told me after dating several women..is that he finally recognized what is was that these women were doing in dating him.

They were looking at his home and posessions and how they could put them to use by marriage to take care of themselves and their children. What they were not doing was looking at what was missing from his life....and how they could fill this which was missing in his life. This knowledge is very telling about a woman to a man who knows.

Do you see the difference now Miss Sky?? You in your own way are doing the same as these women my friend was describing while stating you put so much into this relationship. I dont think so. I think you missed the mark by a long shot. I also think you have been down this road many many times. But you have not learned....ever!!

You keep looking at a relationship through your glasses, needs, wants, and beliefs. Not the man with whom you are in attendance. Just like the women my friend was dating. Either that or you are not accustomed to dealing with a man..only with males.

I am not even for certain that you are capable of looking into a man and seeing/detecting/ and learning what is missing from his life and working to fulfill that need. Such a woman who can figure this out can put a man on a drug for which he Never wants to get off her drug.

So many women I have met completely miss this mark with a man. Ironically and fatally ..most men also do not know. So why would a woman ever know verses excepting such nonsense as the very self centered Cosmo Girl from Quizzes?? A girl who only has forty sex tricks to keep him occupied and under control??

Are you catching on yet Miss Sky??


This is one thing you stated with which I agree..

As for not meeting his sexual needs you are dead wrong. Our sex life was great.but a relationship isn't all about sex. Its also about going out and enjoying other things together.

A relationship is also about being together in spirit when you are apart as well. Not about enjoying things per se..that is objectification. But enjoying the time and each other together and apart...good times and bad. I know people who still love each other and care even though they are quarreling.
A good woman and man can also function when apart and life extracts this toll between people. It is the male who often works jobs away from home and long hours thus being often apart. Not by choice but by necessity.
This is so often overlooked and taken for granted by so many women while only looking at their needs. Never mentioned in blogs like this one.


What you state here may be true...but...

been there done that...had myself a wreck over guys in the past, to me its not worth it. now I dust myself off and get back out there...sorry not going to let a guy break me ever again and sit in the corner crying over him.

I think these experiences have tainted you into the trap of thinking you are sitting on the only one in town. Thus you have totally missed the concept which I am attempting to explain ..what is missing from his life and how can you fill it and thus put a man on a drug for which he never wants to get off it. I do not think you capable of doing this verses hunting for younger guys you can control to make your dreams beliefs and expectations come true..even for a short time...and with little RISK to you.

In case you do not understand this of which I am explaining ...DR Warren Farrell has a definition of this behavior ...

Making ones dreams , beliefs, expectations, come true cheaply and without RISK.
This means someone else gets used up to reduce your RISKS.

What Dr Farrell gives is his definition of Pornography. Obscenity. Another word for it is Objectification of a partner.

It may not seem like such but to both me as well as my friend that is exactly what it is. The common trend line or thinking is that it is only males who objectify females..but it is not so.
Those women who were coming over to date my friend across the river were objectifying him and his posessions in a very obscene manner. It is just that they never realized a male can see them for what they are ..and it was very obscene because they had no intention of giving him real value for the risks he was or had taken. They thought that no one would see what they were doing.

What commodity/drug do you have Miss Sky against the competition out here for which a man cannot or will not go elsewhere to get in lieu of electing to stay on your drug??

That is what separates the women from the girls or females.

Hope this was some help.

Thanks for your posts and all the other posts as well,
Orangetom

reply to post by orangetom1999


orangetom1999


I thank you for all your thoughtful advice, what you got out of the Warren Farell book was my relationship spot on! I broke it off today, you saved me a lot of heartache for the future. She might come back to read this and post how it was all my fault, that is to be expected though...

Just wanted to give you the thanks and some stars!

jheated5,

jheated5
reply to post by orangetom1999

 

orangetom1999


I thank you for all your thoughtful advice, what you got out of the Warren Farell book was my relationship spot on! I broke it off today, you saved me a lot of heartache for the future. She might come back to read this and post how it was all my fault, that is to be expected though...

Just wanted to give you the thanks and some stars!

jheated5,

edit on 409America/Chicagoam31America/Chicago045 by jheated5 because: (no reason given)

Jheated5,

Wow!! You caught me by surprise there with this post and reply. I most certainly did not expect this nor from you but instead flack from Miss Sky.

I've run into a number of very controlling women in my lifetime. I am glad to have learned from this.

I highly recommend reading Warren Farrells books or videos. I have both here but the videos are readily accessable to those with computers. Very good stuff to teach a young man to survive the mine field of relationships.

Best you learn while you are still young for many do not.

Also..as I gave this advice to another person just now...once you learn and it sinks in to your soul..you will go around armed and not ignorant. Teach other young men how to survive this mine field...for so many are floundering in ignorance out here and these women are running over them in their ignorance.

Glad to hear you have seen it for what it is. Remember and keep up the learning. For the learning never stops.

Thanks for getting back to me on this,
I was quite surprised,
Orangetom