Entertain me Please (Corny Clean Jokes)

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posted on Oct, 19 2012 @ 09:53 PM
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Originally posted by PurpleChiten

Originally posted by AkumaStreak
A guy walks into a bar testing his avatar image. It's me! And I don't see it.


awww mannnn..... did you remember to hit "submit" after you set it as your avatar?


Forgot that the image needed to be uploaded to ATS and referenced from ATS files URL. Thanks.




posted on Oct, 19 2012 @ 09:55 PM
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reply to post by AkumaStreak
 


Great Avatar!

If you want a new one after Halloween, follow the link in my signiture. We have several folks that make them as a hobby. You just tell them what you want and get a ton of choices!



posted on Oct, 19 2012 @ 10:01 PM
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does anyone else read every reply to purple chitan threads in sheldon's voice?



posted on Oct, 19 2012 @ 10:03 PM
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reply to post by Rikku
 


I actually get that a lot!



BAZINGA!!



posted on Oct, 19 2012 @ 10:09 PM
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Originally posted by PurpleChiten
reply to post by AkumaStreak
 


Great Avatar!

If you want a new one after Halloween, follow the link in my signiture. We have several folks that make them as a hobby. You just tell them what you want and get a ton of choices!


Thanks, but I'm pretty sure all choices prob. included embedded chitens!!!



posted on Oct, 19 2012 @ 10:10 PM
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reply to post by AkumaStreak
 


LOL, nah, I'm the soul holder of the chitenhood



posted on Oct, 19 2012 @ 10:11 PM
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Thanks for the entertainment everybody!


I'm hitting the hay, but feel free to keep entertaining one another!



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 01:07 PM
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A man calls a house and a little boy answers the phone.

Hello (in a whisper)

Yes, may I speak to your mother?

No, she's busy (all in a whisper)

Can I speak to your father?

No, he's busy.

Is anyone else there?

Some neighbors

Can I speak to them?

No, they're busy

Is anyone else there?

Some firemen (still whispering)

Let me speak to a fireman

No, they're busy

Young man is there anyone else there?

Some Policemen

Let me talk to a policeman

No, they're busy

What are they all doing? (yelling now)


They're looking for me.



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 01:35 PM
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Some more..

- I have a step ladder, my real ladder left home when I was 4

- A man was found dead in an ice cream van with hundreds and thousands all over him. Police think he topped himself

- Why do farmers always put gates on the muddiest part of the field

- Man goes to the "Antiques Road show" with a large object in his bag
- "I am 80 and have lived all my life man and boy in this house. I was in the attic and found this"
- "it must be at least 100 years old"
- Expert pulls the object from the bag
- Expert looks over his glasses at the old man and says "You silly sod, that is a water tank"



Sad but true, I lost 1/2 an hour bent over with laughter on that last joke.



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 01:38 PM
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For one-liners you cannot beat Tim Vine - they are truely corny



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 01:40 PM
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reply to post by templar knight
 


I got the first two and they were great


I'm not getting the water tank one.... what am I missing?

maybe an area-thing or something?

...I wanna laugh too!


ETA: I did some Google, is a water tank something that all houses have in them?
Like we all have hot water heaters in our basements here?

I guess I'm extremely Americanized.... I guess over here we'd have to change attic to basement and the guy would say "that's your water heater"



edit on 20-10-2012 by PurpleChiten because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 04:56 PM
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Do you know what moth balls smell like?
..
..

..

..

..

..

..
..

How did you get their little legs apart?

(you said corny)



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 05:07 PM
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reply to post by PurpleChiten
 


There once was a girl from nantucket,
Who found a purple chicken and plucked it.
She said all the while,with a cat grin smile,
this was better then chicken from a bucket.



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 05:15 PM
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Posting this one for my kid.

Rather gross but funny at the same time.

Do you know why your poop is tapered?

So your butt doesnt slam shut!

edit on 20-10-2012 by riverwild because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 20 2012 @ 07:32 PM
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reply to post by mamabeth
 


ACCCCKKKK!!!





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