5 Real Deleted Bible Scenes In Which Jesus Kicks Some Butt

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posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 06:41 PM
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The Gospels that made it into the Bible pretty much skip from the birth of Jesus Christ to his adulthood, but there are other documents that chronicle the adventures of Jesus Christ: Boy Wonder. They're part of something called the New Testament Apocrypha, a series of books deemed unfit for inclusion due to concerns over the message they'd send or, in some cases, the number of faces they'd melt with their sheer awesomeness. Most of the stories are pretty normal fare -- healing lepers and raising the dead -- but some are so insane that we learn that the answer to, What would Jesus do? is Whatever the hell he wants.



www.cracked.com...
edit on 28-8-2012 by Crakeur because: reduced the quote and added the link




posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 06:41 PM
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posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 06:42 PM
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So I was reading this becasue I love cracked and found this a bit disturbing. I mean christians claim Jesus was without sin but this shows a different story.

I imagine that is why it was deleted from the bible



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 06:49 PM
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Originally posted by lobotomizemecapin
So I was reading this becasue I love cracked and found this a bit disturbing. I mean christians claim Jesus was without sin but this shows a different story.

I imagine that is why it was deleted from the bible


Maybe you should look up the word satire

.............and gullible.




posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 06:53 PM
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I usually don't read threads like this, but I couldn't put it down.

Very interesting, and well written --- lots of laughs on my end.

Thanks for sharing.

P.S: Dragons would be helpful in this day and age.



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 06:54 PM
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So what proof is there to back up the claim that these stories about Jesus were excluded in the NT?

Have they found a 2 thousand year old manuscript that has this info? How about a thousand year old manuscript?
how about a century old one?


I do believe a lot was not put into the original bible, and yes I believe wording was changed to meet the needs of those who wrote it.

But to say this without actually backing it up with a factual document, finding or what not is just ridiculous.
edit on 27-8-2012 by tw0330 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:00 PM
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reply to post by lobotomizemecapin
 


Jesus was a moody testy kid!

Here's more from the Infancy Gospels,


12 1 And Joseph saw his prudence and understanding and wished him not to be unacquainted with letters. So he handed him over to another schoolmaster. And the schoolmaster said, “Say, alpha.”
2 But the boy said, “First tell me what is the beta and I will tell you what the alpha is.” Becoming irritated, the teacher struck him. And Jesus cursed him and the teacher fell and died.
3 And the boy went home to his parents. And Joseph called his mother and commanded her, “Do not let him out of the house so that those who make him angry may not die.”

www.tonyburke.ca...


I guess you can't teach an old god new tricks!
edit on 27-8-2012 by windword because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:05 PM
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WOW! Jesus was Badass.







edit on 27-8-2012 by Pedro4077 because: added badass image



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:11 PM
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nice commentary! funny stuff!

strangely enough though, i have heard of,and read these same stories!!!
they are real gospels,written,as you said around the second century!
my favorites are the gnostic gospels found at nad hammadi.
elain pagels does a most excellent job with her translation.
the dead sea scrolls are good as well,with most of them written after the christ died(so the 'experts' think!)
cool post though. most people don't know the real history of the new testament(or they refuse to believe it!)
the truth will set you free!



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:14 PM
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Oh baby jesus you so bad. I wish i could read more of the apocrypha ; laughter, better than the caduceus any day.



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:14 PM
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Lots of stories are....excluded from the modern interpretation of the bible.

I remember Glen Danzig talking about the incident where Jesus killed the boy in an interview, talking about a book in his collection.



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:16 PM
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reply to post by tw0330
 


are you kidding?????
the council of nicea is a good start!!!!!!!
its actually in the introduction of your bible!!!! (the fine print after you open the cover!)
how bout you just make it easy for your self (this way you wont have to waste your time and read a book!)
go online and type in omitted books of the new testament!!!!!



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:34 PM
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The Gospels were written by Apostles in the first century after Christs death, by those who knew Jesus.
Paul had a special revelation and wrote letters.

How can somebody suggest that Jesus as a child had these "Magical" powers and write of them 100 years if not longer after his death, how would they know of these acts of magic?
Why wasnt Jesus recognised as somebody special till after His baptism, surely Jesus would have been famous in His youth if He could play tricks and kill people??

How could a story about His youth and His magic be written by a person who knew of Him 200 years after his death? and be accurate.???

This is ludicrous at the very least, logic ends any debate of the legitimacy of this "Infancy Gospel"

As for the Dead Sea Scrolls age, they were discovered in the mid 1940s, there age is varied, very varied
en.wikipedia.org...

To say they are written after Christs birth is laughable. C14 dating has issues no one questions that, but to say the DSS were written after Christ's death is laughable
edit on 27-8-2012 by borntowatch because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:42 PM
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posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:43 PM
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reply to post by skepticconwatcher
 


Maybe you should read the article and look at their sources before making ignorant comments



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:50 PM
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Originally posted by lobotomizemecapin
reply to post by skepticconwatcher
 


en.wikipedia.org...


Even Wikipedia an openly antichristian site suggest the infancy gospel is stupid, funny how so many still accept it as accurate isnt it
There is one born every minute.



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 07:56 PM
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Originally posted by FrostForests
Lots of stories are....excluded from the modern interpretation of the bible.

I remember Glen Danzig talking about the incident where Jesus killed the boy in an interview, talking about a book in his collection.


Ooooo, then it must be true, I mean, if Glen Danzig said it...



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 08:13 PM
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Dang--I really sprayed water across my keyboard reading that.
I do want to research more and read these passages for myself, just for my own "I'll believe it when I see it" nature



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 09:51 PM
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Originally posted by borntowatch
The Gospels were written by Apostles in the first century after Christs death, by those who knew Jesus.
Paul had a special revelation and wrote letters.

How could a story about His youth and His magic be written by a person who knew of Him 200 years after his death? and be accurate.???

This is ludicrous at the very least, logic ends any debate of the legitimacy of this "Infancy Gospel"

As for the Dead Sea Scrolls age, they were discovered in the mid 1940s, there age is varied, very varied
en.wikipedia.org...

To say they are written after Christs birth is laughable. C14 dating has issues no one questions that, but to say the DSS were written after Christ's death is laughable
edit on 27-8-2012 by borntowatch because: (no reason given)


You could probably say this about much of the bible. When do you think Genesis was written? Mark and Luke did not know Jesus personally as far as I can tell, so it's a question to me as to why they authored any of the gospels. Especially the red quotes as to what Jesus said.



posted on Aug, 27 2012 @ 09:59 PM
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reply to post by borntowatch
 





Even Wikipedia an openly antichristian site suggest the infancy gospel is stupid, funny how so many still accept it as accurate isnt it There is one born every minute.


What is really funny is how so many still accept the Bible as factual and accurate, isn't it? Yes there appears to be one born every minute.





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