I have experienced the darkest night,
only to return back into the light....
Hey, as im sure you have noticed i randomly chime in on certain topics and kind of have off the wall posts of my own once in a while. Here i would
like to discuss some of my journey through the esoteric, shamanism, witchcraft, and Christianity.
I have participated in shamanic rituals such as sweat lodges, crowley rituals such as entering the mouth of the dragon as well as others. I have seen
the power of both christianity and of the power of the force behind the others. During most of this i have been a part of ATS, i have had many
enlightening experiences as well as many deep and dark experiences. I have realized a lot of the true nature of this world and the universe within.
After all of this, all of the conspiracies, studying language, symbols, religion, the market, politics, everything for years and years i have come to
realize that i am fully 100% a christian. Now let me tell you a few things i have experienced that bring me back to this conclusion.
Entering the mouth of the dragon. Yes i did this on a whim of sorts. I did this with a group of people i barely knew carelessly and fearlessly. I also
did this after some very serious and scary life experiences. A few things happened after performing this ritual. One, i had a nightmare, extremely
lucid and intense. During my sleep a white blanket covered me and began smothering me untill i could not move or breath. I struggled repeatedly to no
avail to get the blanket off to the point of exhaustion and suffocation. Out of nowhere i screamed at the top of my lounges, "JESUS HELP ME". Suddenly
i woke up gasping for air and sitting upright in my bed.
Two, a few days later i woke up in the middle of the night literally screaming at the top of my lounges with my arms open and balled up sitting up in
my bed. This awoke my girlfriend and scared the crap out of her.
A month or two ago i had a dream where i was being chased. This is actually a typical dream for me but what usually happens in the dream is i end up
finding amanita mushrooms on the ground and my focus changes from the entity onto the mushrooms. For some reason the entity is always afraid of these
mushrooms and backs off once i start picking them. Now during this dream i was being chased and instead of turning to the amanita i spoke the name of
Jesus Christ and the entity ran in fear. I find this odd because i began attending church and bible study once a week a few weeks ago with some
friends of mine on a whim.
Prior to all of this happening i had lost all faith and hope in Christianity due to a series of ideas i have most recently thrown out the _ Some
of those ideas range from believing that Jesus represents the sun, or that Jesus is the self(which is still actually true but not in context with what
i was thinking), or Jesus was a shaman, or any of these random ideas discounting the validity of Jesus as god in the flesh.
I could tell you about the sweat lodge, which i actually still think is a good idea and the dreams i had that night if you really want to hear it. The
reason i write this is because i wanted to share with everyone the truth of my experiences. I am sure i have not gone as in depth as i could and i do
write somewhat ADHD so feel free to ask any questions.
edit on 3-5-2012 by onequestion because: (no reason given)