due to my opinions about psychiatry, should I just "get over it?"

reply to post by Darkblade71


Thank you so very much. I definitely am not out to suck off the system as I have worked so HARD to maintain my career...and other than taking unemployment twice, I have never taken ANY hand outs...of ANY kind.

I do not want to end up like my brother. Funny thing, his widow wrote me this morning. She wants to get remarried, but it suffering at the hands of my brother's father and family...the abuse goes on and on....and she stated what I had guessed...that my brother killed himself, (I was originally told he mixed alcohol with his psych meds...cause he was trying to "better himself"...turns out he killed himself....)

Anyhow....I am dressed and heading out the door. I don't know if seeing my PCP will help and my list of psychiatrists is small....I have bruises all over my body and there are torn books, photo, broken paintings, etc....all over from my last "rage" this weekend...it was horrible. Though I manage to not drink more than 4 beers a day...i still use it as a crutch to getting help...oh they're just gonna yell at me for drinking...when I feel I DRINK because I am broken...not just broken because I drink....

Anyhow...I have so much appreciated EVERYONE'S input. It is scary out there...I have failed so many times.....but the fact that I am so alone and almost did this weekend what I said I would never do..means I am at a precipice and I don't exactly like heights....and I need to either just jump and quite whining...or just go back the way I came and never know what COULD be if I just stop this hamster wheel.....or at least slow it down a bit....

I will write back later, (if I can) and let ya'll know what transpires.....

All ya'lls advice and sometimes harsh realities is the very reason I posted my thread....I know REAL people living in a REAL world would give me the advise I needed....not just the canned..."you need to go to the ER and get help" kind of advice....

Peace, ya'll
d(-_-)b

reply to post by Cornczech


Don't be embarrassed to ask your insurance for anything. That is what they are there for. Addicts have a high rate of relapse so you are not alone. You need help, so get it. Try to find a good one that has a good therapy program or is designed for folks that were abused.

reply to post by Cornczech


My advice, working in a psychiatric hospital, is get yourself admitted. Think of it as a short term solution to get yourself under control. Then engage in long term therapy. Drugs are only the "solution" because of insurance companies, they shouldn't be for many people. They will help you get yourself under control, but it is only masking the issue not solving it. Long term therapy will help with solving it.

I have my degree in social work and work in a psychiatric hospital.

I was abused as a child also, and then put into the foster care system when I was 13. Moved from home to home, etc. until I was 18 yrs old, always paranoid my abuser would find me and hurt and/or kill me. My first apartment as an 18 yr old, I slept with a knife under my pillow, still carrying that tremendous fear. Always looking out for that make of car, that color hair, or those evil eyes....always on guard.

At the age of 21, my therapist suggested that I needed closure and confronting my abuser might help. It took me months to convince myself to do it, but once I did, I empowered myself and ALL those feelings I'd buried inside me just disappeared. I told my abuser that I was no longer a scared child and she could NOT hurt me anymore, I would not allow it. Even though she refused to admit what she'd done, just telling her that I was STRONG and she would never hurt me again, I swear I felt like a new person. And I was a new person. That chapter of my life was closed and I started new.

I haven't seen a therapist since and haven't needed to. I'm mentally strong and I've put my past behind me. I ended up taking care of my abuser in the last year of her life. I had forgiven her.

I hope you can find some way to combat this. I really feel for you. Life can be good.

reply to post by virraszto


Exactly what I am talking about! Meds may help in the short term, but you need to deal with the actual issues causing these problems. Therapy worked for you, and it brought you to the point where you could heal and empower yourself. Exactly what I think the OP should do.

Combine a short term solution (psych hospital) with a long term one (therapy). They go hand in hand, one alone won't be enough.

A few non-professional ideas...

1. I saw a women "break down" because she kept focusing on her painful past. It gave me the impression that "psychotharapy" isn't for everyone or everything. Rather, it can be like scratching open old wounds.

2. Wayne Dyer said "its better to work for what you love than against what you hate"... in that concept if you focus your efforts toward positive things like helping others and maximizing the things you care about it can be greatly uplifting... Wayne went on that when you focus on negatives you're always worried and failing at preventing things - but when you focus on positives (hmmm you are FREE, Married, able to walk the streets, offer encouragement to others - do things for neighbors,... )... everything you do can be uplifting to yourself and others.

3. If you have "issues/problems" your husband can be impacted directly - don't make too much of the negatives that happen - just do something nice and keep going... do realize that the "nice" may not be immediately recognized due to recent negatives - but he loves/loved you enough to be your husband. That's far better than being alone.

4. Exercise - walking - gardening - stuff like that!

I am bi-polar so I can relate a bit about how easy it is to get into the "poor pitiful me" rut. Did you read the Opening Post in the thread about the Cherokee Tale of Two Wolves?

www.abovetopsecret.com...

I I printed that post and framed it and put it in my bathroom to remind myself what a poison self-pity and sorrow can be. I recommend that you consider doing the same. You have had it rough. I have a buddy who is a bad alcoholic whose dad was bi-polar and suffered some of what you went through. She has been sober at least 5 years and knows that if she ever drinks again it will kill her. If she can do it, I bet you can as well.

Now, about this husband of your's lack of empathy - he is not helping you (although he might think he is) and needs to start going to Al-Anon meetings and marriage counseling if he wants to help you. I hope he can become supportive. You have enough to deal with without juggling on the hassles of marriage difficulties. I've been there, done that and I know if he's not part of the solution, he is part of the problem.

I agree with the person who said get to every AA meeting you can. That is your best bet. And put your mind is a positive place. Perhaps someone can recommend self-help books for your personal growth.

I will be praying for you.

sad eyed lady

reply to post by Cornczech

Hi, Cornczech.

My daughter had similar problems, but not as rough as you.

She did see the film/documentary in the first line of my signature,
and it did her great well !
I got the 3 DVD kit too, and it is a major "pep talk" ! !

Try to get, see, rent or buy those DVDs, you will love their "suggestions" !

Blue skies.