posted on Apr, 19 2012 @ 08:33 PM
I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel after reading each and every word of all your posts. I was working all day and could not check any
What strikes me is variety of emotions I have experienced over the last few days. For the most part, my wife and I have reacted stoically. We've
known this day would come. We've been through an awful lot during our 19 year marriage and somehow we continue to wake up to another day.
I tend to get very emotional when I think about the unfairness, deceit and greed of the banks. It evokes strong desires for revenge. As a contractor
with decades of experience, I know how to render the house inhabitable very discreetly. I can't tell you how many ideas I've had.
Then my sense of honor and morals kick in and a battle rages in my mind fueled by rationalizations and the wish to bring light to the situation. As
the rage builds, the devil perched on my left shoulder naturally searches for additional fuel to let the self-righteousness take over.
Politicians have sunk lower than the flattened belly of a slug on subway track. I consider them lower than the amoral, psychopaths running Goldman
Sachs. At some level there is an expectation of politicians to subordinate their personal desires to that of the greater good.
As I desperately search for meaning in this world, some childish part of my ego expects a politician or bureaucrat to come to the rescue of citizens
like me. As I catch myself fantasizing and realize there is no "Mr. Smith" in Washington, DC or any other town, I wish to bring back the guilotine
and scream "Off with their heads," just as Barney Frank's fat lisping toungue projects the final ball of spittle on to the lens of a news camera
covering the justice. For it was Fat Boy Frankie who lead the charge to gut the regulators under the Clinton administration.
Deep in my soul, I believe everything happens for a reason. Whether I can see it now or must wait for judgement day when my life story plays out in
front of me, someday I will understand why. I hope to live that long and hope to see the day when the money changers and crooked representatives get
thei just deserts.
Finally, I must say that my desire for something has become something of an obsession. I have found myself looking for any information about the
"Mass Arrests" reading and re-reading posts about Drake and Wilcock and Nesara, even the Galactic Channeling. It's not healthy.
I must focus on taking care of my family, finding a new home, a better job, perhaps my life's purpose? God bless you all. Thanks again. Believe it
or not, despite my looks and rage, I really do have an enormous capacity for love and gratitude. Love to all my friends.