What is the difference between love and respect?

Originally posted by Iamschist
reply to post by smithjustinb

 

maybe none of us are really here. Maybe I am part of your imagination.

How is that relevant?

Maybe I meant what I said, for the level and context I was using as reference..

You probably did. The way you define love is probably different than the way I define it. That's what this thread is about- how we define love and respect

SPAM removed by Admin

reply to post by alliswell


Great reply. The way you define "unconditional love" as founded upon unconditional acceptance is also the foundation of the way I define respect.

Respect, to me, is allowing others their freedom of expression and accepting whatever way they choose to express themselves. I think that is the most powerful way of being there is and is the fastest way to observation of our divine nature of interconnected unity. Respect, by my definition, is the tool I use to see God in people's eyes and feel the fire of their being. By respecting others, I've come to believe that we are all angels walking the world oblivious to ourselves.

Originally posted by Lawgiver
Love is what women want. Respect is what men want.

You can't get respect by wanting it. You have to give respect to get it. You can't get love by wanting it. You have to give love to get it. So if men are giving love to the women who want it, they are getting back love. If women are giving respect to the men who want it, they are getting back respect. So no one is getting what they want unless love and respect are the same thing. I don't think its about what women want vs. what men want, I think its about what people in general want. I believe we all want the same thing. I think the reason we want these things is so that we can become aware of God.

reply to post by smithjustinb

Respect, to me, is allowing others their freedom of expression and accepting whatever way they choose to express themselves. I think that is the most powerful way of being there is and is the fastest way to observation of our divine nature of interconnected unity. Respect, by my definition, is the tool I use to see God in people's eyes and feel the fire of their being. By respecting others, I've come to believe that we are all angels walking the world oblivious to ourselves.

That is an odd use of the term respect.

I suppose respect can be meant in two directions. One is that you actually respect a.k.a. admire the person. The other is that you respect they are an individual equal with yourself and entitled to their own existence and views. No offense to you, but the second way of defining it is kind of useless. Of course everyone is an individual with their own rights and views and existence, and there is no reason for us to respect a.k.a. acknowledge that fact. In fact, if we feel the need to acknowledge or respect their individual rights, it is almost a way of elevating our self above them, so that we are giving approval to their own individuality?

To compare respect and love, is to compare admiration and love, not acknowledgement and love.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by smithjustinb

 

Respect, to me, is allowing others their freedom of expression and accepting whatever way they choose to express themselves. I think that is the most powerful way of being there is and is the fastest way to observation of our divine nature of interconnected unity. Respect, by my definition, is the tool I use to see God in people's eyes and feel the fire of their being. By respecting others, I've come to believe that we are all angels walking the world oblivious to ourselves.

That is an odd use of the term respect.

I suppose respect can be meant in two directions. One is that you actually respect a.k.a. admire the person. The other is that you respect they are an individual equal with yourself and entitled to their own existence and views. No offense to you, but the second way of defining it is kind of useless. Of course everyone is an individual with their own rights and views and existence, and there is no reason for us to respect a.k.a. acknowledge that fact. In fact, if we feel the need to acknowledge or respect their individual rights, it is almost a way of elevating our self above them, so that we are giving approval to their own individuality?

Its not useless. We MUST acknowledge each other's freedom of individual expression. If we do not, we are susceptible to being dissatisfied with who they are and how they are expressing themselves. This is not love or respect. And this is exactly how it starts. The point of respect is to see yourself in other's eyes; to see the expressive freedom of being in other's eyes. It is the common ground of all life. At this common ground, we are all connected, and by acknowledging the freedom of expression of this existential common ground, you can feel yourself as a part of it. It is a divine experience. However, if you don't believe in divine experiences, I can see how this might be useless to you.

To compare respect and love, is to compare admiration and love, not acknowledgement and love.

What is the difference between admiration and acknowledgement? I see them as the same. Think of how it feels to acknowledge someone. It feels like admiration, like love, like respect. How do you acknowledge someone without admiring them? How do you admire someone without acknowledging them?

Originally posted by smithjustinb
Desire is a control mechanism. Control is the single most Godless agenda there is.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Some religions get it right when they say "release desire" but then it becomes a RULEBOOK and they desire to follow it 100% and it becomes control once again.

Or the religions that say to love your neighbor. Those religions become "let your neighbor walk over you until you die so that you can get rewarded in the after life".

reply to post by smithjustinb


I can acknowledge someone that I despise. The two things are unrelated. I can acknowledge that Jeffrey Dahmer had an equal existence to mine, and he had feelings that were his own, and he acted upon those feelings without remorse, but I don't admire or respect or love him.

To think that we "have" to acknowledge someone is putting one's self in an authoritative position. I don't have to acknowledge anyone else's existence, and I don't need my own existence acknowledged. As our founding fathers in the US said, it is "inalienable." My rights exist with or without anyone else's acknowledgement, and for someone to feel somehow empowered by acknowledging them is narcissistic on their part.

Admiration or Respect can be justified as to how it is reached. One doesn't do it without reasons, and those reasons are tangible.

Also, one does not need to give respect to receive respect. I can respect someone that has no knowledge of me, or if they have knowledge they may not like nor respect me in return, but I can still respect them, and they can still have my respect.

You seem to be trying to apply some universal love concept to the idea of respect, but they are different. Love has no rational explanation, Respect is rooted in a tangible explanation.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by smithjustinb

 

I can acknowledge someone that I despise.

If you acknowledge someone you despise, you fear them. Acknowledgement is useless if you despise what you are acknowledging. If you acknowledge someone while respecting them, then you are showing love.

Originally posted by smithjustinb

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by smithjustinb

 

I can acknowledge someone that I despise.

If you acknowledge someone you despise, you fear them. Acknowledgement is useless if you despise what you are acknowledging. If you acknowledge someone while respecting them, then you are showing love.

Why are you creating your own definitions?

1. to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of: to acknowledge one's mistakes.
2. to show or express recognition or realization of: to acknowledge an acquaintance by nodding.
3. to recognize the authority, validity, or claims of: The students acknowledged the authority of the student council.

Dictionary

To admit you exist is not the same as to love you. Do I also love this keyboard I am typing on?

I admit that other human beings exist, a couple of them I love, several I respect, many I am indifferent towards, and a few I would like to see stop existing.

There are many people I respect but don't love. I even find it possible to love people I don't necessarily respect, though that can be very hard and painful. I reserve love for those I am close to on a personal level. I can respect people I have never known or met, but whom I admire.

Originally posted by smithjustinb
reply to post by absolutely

 

How can superiority even be real if all is one?

There is no existential supreriority and God is existence. Its not that truth is superior, truth is just what is. There is nothing other than truth. You have the freedom to be aware of truth or not. The more aware you are, the more aware you are of truth because there is nothing else.

if all is one what r u doing here ?? n why r u meaning to preach wat truth r u selling?? when all is one god to u, how do u justify love n respect ?? since there is no else,
u wont get what u want u will end what u r alone

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by smithjustinb

 

To think that we "have" to acknowledge someone is putting one's self in an authoritative position. I don't have to acknowledge anyone else's existence, and I don't need my own existence acknowledged.

You don't HAVE to. Things happen all around you all the time. Some things you pay attention to, some you don't. It doesn't matter what you acknowledging, it just matters that you are aware. To what degree you are aware is variable. With fear, you cower away from awareness and hide in your mind from what you see. With love, you increase the degree of your awareness and allow what you see to show more of itself to you. Eventually, you see so much in one thing that you realize that you and that thing are connected by a oneness. So you learn about oneness. You see that all is one and since you are alive, so is everything else. Life expresses itself in countless ways. So what you see as evil Jeffrey Dahmer is really an individualized expression of what you are as human as life. By you saying, "Jeff is evil", all you have done is actuated your own capacity to see what is neither good nor bad as something bad. This is not truth. Truth is impartial. Life can be good or bad, but underneath that, it is just life. That's the point of respect, or acknowledgement. Acknowledge life and you see more of it. You understand it deeper. Understand it deep enough and you see your connection to all that is. You see and feel what you can only describe as "God".

Originally posted by absolutely

Originally posted by smithjustinb
reply to post by absolutely

 

How can superiority even be real if all is one?

There is no existential supreriority and God is existence. Its not that truth is superior, truth is just what is. There is nothing other than truth. You have the freedom to be aware of truth or not. The more aware you are, the more aware you are of truth because there is nothing else.

if all is one what r u doing here ??

Learning what this (I) is (am). Enjoying existence.

n why r u meaning to preach wat truth r u selling?? when all is one god to u, how do u justify love n respect ?? since there is no else,
u wont get what u want u will end what u r alone

All is one but I observe this unity from a relative, individual perspective. Its just for fun. My beingness is indescribable. I has manifest as all of this. The individual, relative experience is an opportunity to observe my own indescribableness.

Loneliness is a feeling of the absence of love. Can you not love yourself?

reply to post by smithjustinb


Yes. I have often said that many people say I LOVE YOU but really mean I NEED YOU. They don't know this, of course. But the difference lies in the ideas of 'giving' vs 'receiving,' the latter of which is negatively expressed as 'taking.'

Love that is divine, imo...the highest truest love...called 'agape' in Greek...is an action...a choice...something given not received.
A natural feedback loop exists wherein love is returned in answer to love given freely and willingly without any expectation being attached, including love being returned. In other words, this kind of pure love will always propagate but if that result is expected, it mars that perfection and purity of that love it needs as the input into the loop...thus it only works on the principle of GIVING.

reply to post by smithjustinb


I think maybe the term 'honor' would be more understood by many people than 'respect?' I know what you are saying, and I, too, don't see respect as honor but more like bowing to authority...to honor someone is to value them on their own individuality. That's just me, though. I just wanted to maybe show that semantics might be interfering with some communication in this thread. It's par for the course, though. We ought to be used to it.

In consideration of this, then, here are some definitions from freedictionary.com:

respect [rɪˈspɛkt]
n
1. an attitude of deference, admiration, or esteem; regard
2. the state of being honoured or esteemed
3. a detail, point, or characteristic; particular he differs in some respects from his son
4. reference or relation (esp in the phrases in respect of, with respect to)
5. polite or kind regard; consideration respect for people's feelings
6. (often plural) an expression of esteem or regard (esp in the phrase pay one's respects)
vb (tr)
1. to have an attitude of esteem towards; show or have respect for to respect one's elders
2. to pay proper attention to; not violate to respect Swiss neutrality
3. to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly
4. Archaic to concern or refer to
[from Latin rēspicere to look back, pay attention to, from re- + specere to look]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

hon·or (nr)
n.
1. High respect, as that shown for special merit; esteem: the honor shown to a Nobel laureate.
2.
a. Good name; reputation.
b. A source or cause of credit: was an honor to the profession.
3.
a. Glory or recognition; distinction.
b. A mark, token, or gesture of respect or distinction: the place of honor at the table.
c. A military decoration.
d. A title conferred for achievement.
4. High rank.
5. The dignity accorded to position: awed by the honor of his office.
6. Great privilege: I have the honor to present the governor.
7. Honor Used with His, Her, or Your as a title and form of address for certain officials, such as judges and mayors: Her Honor the Mayor.
8.
a. Principled uprightness of character; personal integrity.
b. A code of integrity, dignity, and pride, chiefly among men, that was maintained in some societies, as in feudal Europe, by force of arms.
c. A woman's chastity or reputation for chastity.
9. honors Social courtesies offered to guests: did the honors at tea.
10. honors
a. Special recognition for unusual academic achievement: graduated from college with honors.
b. A program of advanced study for exceptional students: planned to take honors in history.
11. Sports The right of being first at the tee in golf.
12. Games
a. Any of the four or five highest cards, especially the ace, king, queen, jack, and ten of the trump suit, in card games such as bridge or whist.
b. The points allotted to these cards. Often used in the plural.
tr.v. hon·ored, hon·or·ing, hon·ors
1.
a. To hold in respect; esteem.
b. To show respect for.
c. To bow to (another dancer) in square dancing: Honor your partner.
2. To confer distinction on: He has honored us with his presence.
3. To accept or pay as valid: honor a check; a store that honors all credit cards.

Okay, so much for my suggestion...honor isn't quite right, either.

love [lʌv]
vb
1. (tr) to have a great attachment to and affection for
2. (tr) to have passionate desire, longing, and feelings for
3. (tr) to like or desire (to do something) very much
4. (tr) to make love to
5. (intr) to be in love
n
1.
a. an intense emotion of affection, warmth, fondness, and regard towards a person or thing
b. (as modifier) love song love story
2. a deep feeling of sexual attraction and desire
3. wholehearted liking for or pleasure in something
4. (Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) Christianity
a. God's benevolent attitude towards man
b. man's attitude of reverent devotion towards God
5. Also my love a beloved person: used esp as an endearment
6. Brit informal a term of address, esp but not necessarily for a person regarded as likable
7. (Individual Sports, other than specified) (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero
fall in love to become in love
for love without payment
for love or money (used with a negative) in any circumstances I wouldn't eat a snail for love or money
for the love of for the sake of
in love in a state of strong emotional attachment and usually sexual attraction
make love (to)
a. to have sexual intercourse (with)
b. Now archaic to engage in courtship (with) Related adjective amatory
[Old English lufu; related to Old High German luba; compare also Latin libēre (originally lubēre) to please]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

reply to post by smithjustinb

So what you see as evil Jeffrey Dahmer is really an individualized expression of what you are as human as life. By you saying, "Jeff is evil", all you have done is actuated your own capacity to see what is neither good nor bad as something bad.

I agree with most of what you have said, but "love" and "respect" are not the same things. Sure each of us have a little Dahmer inside, and as I said earlier, he has every right to feel the way he feels, even if it goes against the social norm (he doesn't have a right to harm another), but there is no need to Love or Respect him. One can observe, one can even investigate and evolve, but not love.

Originally posted by smithjustinb
To me, love, in the sense that it is most widely used, actually means "prefer". So when you say, "I love you", most of the time, you are actually saying, "I prefer you". And this is a misuse of the word, "love" and is not love at all.


What say you?

You just told us your definition for love, then said it's not the definition for love. What are you saying bro?

Originally posted by smithjustinb

Originally posted by Iamschist


An example would be a Boss, or a Leader of some sort. I do not love them, but I would respect them, their judgement etc. Another would be someone in a field of endeavor I had need of, an expert. I would respect their education and knowledge, but I would not love them.

Why not? Maybe you love them without acknowledging or even being aware that you do. Do you like them? Like and love are the same thing to me.

This is dangerous territory. It's bad enough that so many people have so many opinions about the difference between love and respect, but when you throw a job into it............

Especially when you're talking about people of the opposite sex, ( not meaning to exclude homosexuals, but it's easier to explain this way) the most prudent thing to do is start out at the respect level I think. Yes, I think there's a difference between love and respect. Respect is a more "formal" emotion if you will. Love is not only informal but it isn't very conducive to anything productive when kept at the workplace. Unless you've got a thick skin and treat love as if it's a formal emotion. I for one wasn't blessed with those attributes and it's gotten me in trouble in the past. You'd think I'd have learned.There are rules to adhere to though and it's simply not professional to wear your heart on your sleeve in the workplace.

You can respect a boss's business acumen, regardless of how they came about to get it, the fact is they have it and it deserves respect, and if that is one trait among others that you see in the boss that could potentially lead to something more then you need to do something constructive about it before it gets out of hand. Just because someone is a boss, or a worker, doesn't mean they're a robot void of emotion, therefore a person really does need to know the difference between love and respect. If they don't, they're in for one hell of a ride and if the feelings of respect are mutual then they both better know how to keep the informal feelings in check. As convoluted as it may all get, the fact remains that they're both in a formal setting, work, that really is no place for things that are informal. Especially if you want to keep things professional.

Like I said at the start of the post, this is dangerous territory but I think it shines a pretty bright light on the fact that there is indeed a difference between love and respect. But regardless of whether you're talking about the workplace or not, I think it all needs to start with respect.

Because when you get right down to it, it's simply the polite thing to do.