Originally posted by smithjustinb
I'm saying, "I desire" and "I prefer" are the most widely used definitions of love as we use the word, "love". But what I think love is is
actually what most of us call "respect." So I'm saying respect is love.
I disagree with this hypothesis.
Some common examples of "respect":
- Government says, "Respect our laws or you will be imprisoned, tortured, or killed."
- Bank says, "You respect our regulations and procedures or you will be homeless."
- Boss says, "You respect my decisions or I'll fire you."
- Mafioso says, "Pay your respects, elsewise you may find yourself sleepin' wit'a fishes."
- Gangsta says, "Disrespect me, I'll shoot you."
- Abuser says, "You'd better show me respect, or I'll beat you."
Respect, in these cases, is not love. It is fear.
Now, granted, one can have respect for others and establishments out of love:
- People feel respect (esteem, honor, consideration, courtesy, refrain) toward elderly people - not because they are afraid of their elders, but
because they love their elders and what the elders have done for them.
- Many religious people feel respect (deference, esteem, honor) toward their religious leaders and churches because they feel like they are a part of
something special and divine.
This is, I believe, the type of respect you are referring to. While the respect of elevating one to a higher level is often based on or initiated by
love, it does not encompass love. I say this because people want something out of the respect they show to others. They don't give the respect for
free, they give it because they believe that by showing this deference/esteem/honor, they will receive bonus points with in the eyes people or God.
Some common examples of "love":
- Employer says, "We love our employees!"
- Church says, "We love our congregation!"
- Government says, "We love your money!"
- Enlightened person says, "I love everyone."
- Patriot says, "I love my country!"
- Person says, "I love this inanimate object!"
In these cases, love is not a devoted love, it is an embellished reactionary statement of appreciation.
- Spouse says, "I love you, spouse."
- Parent says, "I love you, child."
- Child says, "I love you, parent."
- Sibling says, "I love you, sibling."
- Relative says, "I love you, relative."
- Friend says, "I love you, friend."
Each type of love is specific to the relationship.
If both people in the relationship feel love (affection, warmth, endearment, personal attachment), there will be mutual respect (esteem, honor,
courtesy) . However, respect is not a given in all relationships, just as love is not a given in all relationships.
Both love and respect can be used to manipulate people. But, this is not always the case.
Respect does not require reciprocation to exist, but then it becomes fear.
When love does not require reciprocation to exist, it is in its purest form, because it just IS.