What is the difference between love and respect?

Originally posted by gandhi

Originally posted by smithjustinb
To me, love, in the sense that it is most widely used, actually means "prefer". So when you say, "I love you", most of the time, you are actually saying, "I prefer you". And this is a misuse of the word, "love" and is not love at all.


What say you?

You just told us your definition for love, then said it's not the definition for love. What are you saying bro?

I'm saying, "I desire" and "I prefer" are the most widely used definitions of love as we use the word, "love". But what I think love is is actually what most of us call "respect." So I'm saying respect is love.

reply to post by smithjustinb

What say you?

I think love and respect are different things that are tied together.

There are a whole bunch of different kinds of respect, and there a whole bunch of different kinds of love. In fact we can respect people and some things in a whole bunch of different ways. To many to really categorize them and mash them all into one box, unless your talking about a specific type of categorical of those two words.

But if you ask a vague question, you get a vague answer.

One thing though the word love has been thrown around a lot and can be used to mean many things vaguely, to it can be used to mean and represent something very precisely....For instance I love apples, I love ice cream, I love chocolate, for all that there is a whole bunch of substitute words instead of love...Such as I like apples, I dig ice cream, I crave chocolate, etc etc. Used in that vague context and applied like that love can be used to substitute many things. yet its not what it means precisely.

Then there is the more specific type of love and expression and usage of the word. Such as I love my wife, or I love this woman, or even I love my parents, or I love my granddad. As you can see the meaning changes in what you apply it to. And you can even use other words to express the same thing all depending on lots of factors but mostly those who are using and expressing the words.

But in reality both are just words, and words are used to convey a meaning and a feeling. The meaning and felling changes anywhere from subtle to drastic changes on how and who you use it, and why, and on who is receiving the message and the words sent out.

Or to paraphrase all that...Stupid question bro, I love stupid questions, I also like them, and some I even respect them for what they are.

And to summarize all that.... The difference between love and respect is all in your head.

reply to post by smithjustinb


I would say love and respect go hand in hand. Depending on age and perspective...for example a child can say they, "love the color purple" and "unicorns and rainbows." As an adult I love my child or spouse and respect them for their individual selves. On the other hand, you can love someone but not necessarily respect them for their actions. Good question....certainly makes me think...

Originally posted by smithjustinb
I'm saying, "I desire" and "I prefer" are the most widely used definitions of love as we use the word, "love". But what I think love is is actually what most of us call "respect." So I'm saying respect is love.

I disagree with this hypothesis.

Some common examples of "respect":

- Government says, "Respect our laws or you will be imprisoned, tortured, or killed."
- Bank says, "You respect our regulations and procedures or you will be homeless."
- Boss says, "You respect my decisions or I'll fire you."
- Mafioso says, "Pay your respects, elsewise you may find yourself sleepin' wit'a fishes."
- Gangsta says, "Disrespect me, I'll shoot you."
- Abuser says, "You'd better show me respect, or I'll beat you."

Respect, in these cases, is not love. It is fear.

Now, granted, one can have respect for others and establishments out of love:

- People feel respect (esteem, honor, consideration, courtesy, refrain) toward elderly people - not because they are afraid of their elders, but because they love their elders and what the elders have done for them.

- Many religious people feel respect (deference, esteem, honor) toward their religious leaders and churches because they feel like they are a part of something special and divine.

This is, I believe, the type of respect you are referring to. While the respect of elevating one to a higher level is often based on or initiated by love, it does not encompass love. I say this because people want something out of the respect they show to others. They don't give the respect for free, they give it because they believe that by showing this deference/esteem/honor, they will receive bonus points with in the eyes people or God.

Some common examples of "love":

- Employer says, "We love our employees!"
- Church says, "We love our congregation!"
- Government says, "We love your money!"
- Enlightened person says, "I love everyone."
- Patriot says, "I love my country!"
- Person says, "I love this inanimate object!"

In these cases, love is not a devoted love, it is an embellished reactionary statement of appreciation.

Interpersonal love:

- Spouse says, "I love you, spouse."
- Parent says, "I love you, child."
- Child says, "I love you, parent."
- Sibling says, "I love you, sibling."
- Relative says, "I love you, relative."
- Friend says, "I love you, friend."

Each type of love is specific to the relationship.

If both people in the relationship feel love (affection, warmth, endearment, personal attachment), there will be mutual respect (esteem, honor, courtesy) . However, respect is not a given in all relationships, just as love is not a given in all relationships.

Both love and respect can be used to manipulate people. But, this is not always the case.

Respect does not require reciprocation to exist, but then it becomes fear.

When love does not require reciprocation to exist, it is in its purest form, because it just IS.