posted on Feb, 21 2012 @ 10:55 PM
Ok, a few things here, but firstly i got to ask something...
You said in your OP that she's been getting texts of boys, and that you play around with them for a while before revealing yourself, so at what point
did you tell the boy who sent a picture of himself in his underwear? Was you posing as your daughter to see how far he would go? Im not accusing, as
it may sound, im just wondering if you was texting to this boy like you suggested in your OP or if he just sent it randomly.
Also, a major thing in growing up as a teenager is gaining trust from adults. I remember being a teen, it was frustrating more than anything being
looked down upon and treated like a little kid, at an age when your mind is changing at the quickest rate in your life. You need trust, you need to be
able to feel that your parents can rely on you to do the right thing. Yes i understand it's hard because she is 13 and you're her farther, she's
always going to be "your little girl" (couldn't think of a different way to put it) but the truth of the matter is she is growing up, you need to
loosen the ropes a little.
Yes mistakes will be made, but until you show trust in her she will never have to live up to that trust, she will purposely go against your advise
just to get back at you, because what has she got to loose? Your trust? She will certainly not feel trusted having her phone peeped through and even
replies to her mates.
She will act the age you treat her (obviously within reason, still look out for her and what not) but let her live her life.
It's getting worrying now how easy it is for parents to control every aspect of their child's life or spy, there's even a program on BBC 3 where
parents spy on their 18-24 year old kids when their on a boozy holiday!
People learn from mistakes and grow from them, and no one can argue that a lot of things were learned as a teenager, from our mistakes, or trying to
hide a disaster from their parents, or just generally doing stupid things.
I ask the adult members of ATS (i don't know the typical age range for this site but i gather its quite a large one) to look back at their teen
years, at all those times you remember most, the situations you learned vital life lessons in, and think to yourself what your teen years would of
been like if your parents knew every little thing you were doing, how many lessons you would of never learned, and how bleak the years that should of
been the most important of you life would have been in comparison.
Let her have her phone back, gain some trust with her, and she will then come to you with her problems, looking for advice, and then at least you know
what is going on with her telling you, and not snooping around, so that you can build stronger trust, and have the proper relationship a child should
have with their parent.