Georgia Mom Arrested for Allowing 10-Year-Old to Get Tattoo

Originally posted by Evanzsayz
Then there is friends of the kids, you need to watch them more than anybody. If their friends are bad cases then you keep them the hell away from them so they can't influence your kid.

Oh Yeah! Pick your kids friends as long as you can.

You can't really have much control over who they hang out with at school - - but you sure have control over who comes to your house - - which house your child goes to - - who and what events they go to - - etc etc.

Going through this right now with an 11 year old. It is frustrating for her - - but she knows its because she is loved.

And she knows if she ever gets into any situation she is uncomfortable with - - all she has to do is call - - no questions asked.

In my opinion I think that she shouldn't have been arrested it's only taboo in America to have a minor get tattooed when in other countries children have to walk on hot coals to enter manhood or their necks are elongated for tradition. Just let them be it's not like it was YOUR son who had received a tattoo. I say everyone just mind your own business.

Originally posted by Evanzsayz
reply to post by aprilc1

 

Well if you raise your kids right, you won't have problems like them skipping school or whatever. People just don't know how to put their foot down. Your the boss not the kid. That is what's wrong with kids these days, their parents let them step all over them. Then there is friends of the kids, you need to watch them more than anybody. If their friends are bad cases then you keep them the hell away from them so they can't influence your kid. There are millions of ways to get around having bad kids, you just have to have the patience and do it right.

and you don't have to whip your kid to teach him a lesson, learn how to be intimidating.

Well said, I agree.
2nd line

Originally posted by Char-Lee

Originally posted by SalientSkivvy
Oh no! The kid got a memorial tattoo of his older brother!
Big deal. It was his decision, and it's one he will never regret.
If is was some flash art, or whatever; I could see that being a problem.

But it was for his brother...
Kids aren't as stupid and helpless, as we always make them out to be.
A smart kid, can make good decisions on their own.

Society still holds onto the negative view on tattoos...

WOW you were sure not the same as I was at 10! I did really stupid things!I was totally without a clue! thank god I was not raising myself!

LOL I guess so!!
I was a quite kid who read a lot of books.. never really got into trouble no....
So yeah, I still stand by my argument, that not ALL kids are as stupid as you make them out to be.

reply to post by miconATSrender


I happen to have a very well behaved non tatooed non pierced 16 year old honor student thank you-and I also agree that parents need to put their foot down. I was however outlining how we as parents have no rights over our children and those are only examples, things Ive seen and read about. So you dont necessarily have to jump down my throat with both feet.

Originally posted by aprilc1
reply to post by miconATSrender

 

I happen to have a very well behaved non tatooed non pierced 16 year old honor student thank you-and I also agree that parents need to put their foot down. I was however outlining how we as parents have no rights over our children and those are only examples, things Ive seen and read about. So you dont necessarily have to jump down my throat with both feet.

Congrats, me too. Its great to have a great child. Right you are and soon we will be lucky to have any rights at all. Promise to not use both feet next time.

Originally posted by SalientSkivvy

Originally posted by Char-Lee

Originally posted by SalientSkivvy
Oh no! The kid got a memorial tattoo of his older brother!
Big deal. It was his decision, and it's one he will never regret.
If is was some flash art, or whatever; I could see that being a problem.

But it was for his brother...
Kids aren't as stupid and helpless, as we always make them out to be.
A smart kid, can make good decisions on their own.

Society still holds onto the negative view on tattoos...

WOW you were sure not the same as I was at 10! I did really stupid things!I was totally without a clue! thank god I was not raising myself!

LOL I guess so!!
I was a quite kid who read a lot of books.. never really got into trouble no....
So yeah, I still stand by my argument, that not ALL kids are as stupid as you make them out to be.

edit on 21-1-2012 by SalientSkivvy because: (no reason given)

No not all kids are stupid, but all kids are kids.

reply to post by ThirdEyeofHorus


Yes, they do work for the state, blindly following each and every law and bringing in any that disobey them, without ever stopping to think "is this law just?" I understand the need for eyes to watch for parental abuse, such as marks around suspicious areas or the such, but I don't understand the need for eyes to watch for tatoos. The nanny state needs to stop and realize that some people can take care of themselves.

This is the same country that wants parents arrested that teach their children christianity...

the actions don't shock me one bit.


be on the look out for teaching your children religion becomes illegal..


Next it will be illegal to teach children religion

or it will be illegal to homeschool

or it will be illegal to send kids to camp

etc


this is just the start

reply to post by Pixiefyre

You want to hear someone who thinks like a real parent? Who has a strong loving heart of a parent? Who has their head and priorities screwed on right???

That is an important element of this issue that those expressing similar views to yours don't seem to factor in. As a parent I know I would do just about anything it took to help my remaining child recover from something so unimaginable, so he would eventually start to feel that life has some normality again.

My compliments to you!!!

APPLAUSE!

peace

While her, and his intentions were to a degree noble, the fact is, it is illegal, and as such, she broke the law, however stupid the law is, it needs to be changed.

Some of my concerns, I have a memorial tattoo, and it is for me, not to show off, and it is in a place normally hidden by clothes, the only way you see it is if my shirt is off, and that rarely happens in public, I am not against tattoo's, but this one is for me, not for other people to be wowed by it. It was a bad choice getting the kid the tattoo where he got is, talk about in your face, and i think partly an image thing.

I also suspect the mom won't say where the tattoo was done or by who, because there is some validity to the opinion that it was a jailhouse tat, frankly, it looks bloody awful, and I don't think she want's anyone, especially the authorities to know because it will likely go to evidence of her knowingly breaking the law. I say this because if it was in fact a "jailhouse tat" because a real tattoo artist would not do it, it would prove her knowledge of the law, and her willful breaking of the law.

As far as the medical necessity for the tattoo, I personally think that mental health is just as important as physical, and if a psychologist, or psychiatrist said it would be good for the kid, then there would not be an issue.

The dumbest thing mom did was allow him to get a tattoo where he did, I think it was intended to be controversial and in your face.

I think her crime was not the tattoo, but stupidity, unfortunately that is still perfectly legal.

reply to post by aprilc1

So he can be sexually assaulted as frequently happens in foster care?

You're right. I wonder at these people who can only see black and white and what they think is better? Staying at home with a loving mom who will do anything to help her son overcome his pain and attain a sense of personal pride? OR - stick them in foster care where they're (more than likely) going to be abused and misused for years? Needless to say, the poor mother has lost one child and now thanks to the State she's lost another for doing what is her RIGHT? Wow, scary that living in those black and white worlds.

For me the tattoo itself is not the issue it's the idea that as parents we have no rights whatsoever to our children yet we held responsible for their actions...

They want to tell us what we're allowed to feed our children etc.

We as parents have no constitutional rights to our children we are like babysitters for the state.

What a great way of putting it. And ever so right. It's horrific.

I personally dont think tattooing a 10 year old is a good thing-he might change his mind about later...

Thankfully tattoos are not as 'permanent' as people think they are - and - if it 'stretches' (lol) he can get re-inked if he wants - but I see your point.

...but I dont think thats any worse than piercing a childs ears or putting them in pagaent or making them dance 8 hours a day so they can win competitions. No one is calling the CPS on the Dance Moms or the ones on Toddlers and Tiaras.

Yes, like I've said before - at some point this boy can make a decision to remove the tat, get another one, or do some upkeep on the one he has. Point being - he has a choice to remove it. That little girl dressed up like a whore doing a sexy pole dance at 3? Later in life? She has no choice to 'remove' what her parent's 'allowed'. The 'world' has already seen her embarrassment - and - how is she going to go out and find all the copies of that 'performance' if she wants it removed? She can't.

(Statement in general follows - it’s not pointed at aprilc1)

Beyond that - people need to keep ‘their way’ of life to themselves. Why American's think they’re born with the inalienable right to control their neighbors lives forcing them to conform to their own way of thinking and believing is just beyond me! Does the child look well fed? Loved and cared for? Well kept and happy? Then leave him alone - keep your big fat noses out of someone else's business and shut the hell up!

peace

Originally posted by Pardon?
Letting a minor have a tattoo is irresponsible to say the least. Although whether the parent should have been arrested is debatable, again to say the least. I think a strong reprimand would've been in order although I get the feeling that it would have been water off a duck's back.
As has been said, the child has strong feelings for his departed brother but surely if they were that strong he could have waited until he was of a legal age to get it done and that's something his mother should have encouraged.
The fact he's only 10 means he has a lot of growing to do and by the time he has stopped growing I would argue that the tattoo will probably be unrecognisable from what it looks like today.

Something tells me that this child isn't going to run for the presidency when he's an adult.



Oh, on a similar note, any parent who gets their children's ears pierced should be done for child assault.

edit on 21/1/12 by Pardon? because: Added a comment.

But they look so pretty.....

reply to post by silo13


Thank you. I have one child and I don't think I could go on if I lost her, let alone go on and still be strong enough emotionally to help someone else get through it.

I'll never forget having to help my daughter through her first experience involving something tragic. I thought I was fairly well prepared for anything might face, I waited until I knew I was in a good position to raise a child before having her. Logically I had always imagined the first would be the loss of a grandparent.

I never imagined what we both had to come to terms with, it was something so unthinkable I had difficulty dealing with it. A very close and long term friend of hers....at 12 years old...was outside in the parking lot of his apartment complex, when some girls threw gasoline on him and torched him. He did survive but it was more horrible than anything I could have imagined.

I was very worried about how deeply the savageness of what happened my effect her, so once we calmed down a bit after finding out I asked her what she felt like doing to release some of the shock of it, told her she could scream as loud as she wanted, we could run, we could go out, what ever would help her through it. I was lucky, she didn't ask for a tattoo, but had anyone been watching they would have wondered about us. She told me she just felt like rolling around on the floor, so that is what we did, we rolled around on the floor like two people in great pain until she felt more at peace.

I would have done anything to ensure she was able to get through it though...anything.,...at that point a tattoo would have seemed like nothing compared to what had happened.

reply to post by Pixiefyre

You're an example of parents who love, and know their children and know what's best for your children - and then do it! Beautiful!

But - Can you imagine if one of your neighbors had of seen you two 'rolling around'? I can imagine what the 911 call would have been like! I'm sure it would have included words like 'ecstasy' and 'pedophilia'.

Why?

Because what people see on the outside and judge from the outside can be so very detrimentally and irrevocably wrong! But most just react without taking time to ask and/or find out what's going on. Most adults these days? That's just what they are - reactionary - like a bunch of sheep that have no idea where the real threat comes from!

Perfect example - the teacher who called the police on the mother. Did she take a moment to talk to the boy and find out why he had a new tat? The reason and motive behind it - Or - Did he/she just go screaming to the police blatting 'BAAA! A kid has a tat! BAAAA! BAAAAAAAAA!' -----> (I'd bet it was the later.)

Even worse and more chilling? If the young man did tell his teacher My mom let me have a tattoo cause my bro got dead in a car accident and I miss him so much all the time. It makes me sad all the time. But now I got his name on my arm I don't feel so sad.' If to some effect that's what the boy said - and the teacher called the 'authorities' anyway? Well, all I can say is I'm glad I'm not that teacher. To live that narrow minded and so judgmentally! So egoistically to even think for a moment you know better than the parent and have the slightest right to judge them! And then act on it! Gawdddd!

On a more personal note I can't even imagine what it must have been like for you and your daughter after the brutal vicious attack on her friend. How horrific. Thinking of you and your daughter rolling around on the floor made me smile, and cry a little. I wish I'd of grown up with a mom like you.

Bless you two!

Peace

Originally posted by VerityPhantom
In my opinion I think that she shouldn't have been arrested it's only taboo in America to have a minor get tattooed when in other countries children have to walk on hot coals to enter manhood or their necks are elongated for tradition.

So is that supposed to be an argument against government intervention? Because highlighting parental stupidity that occurs around the world achieves exactly the opposite. For the record, I dont think she should be punished.

reply to post by Pixiefyre


I completely applaud you and your actions in helping your daughter dealing with a traumatic incident, was a very moving story and you are clearly a genuinely amazing parent and your daughter is a very lucky person.

I do however sit on the other side of the fence from you on this story....

The point a lot are making, is that it as it stands it is illegal to get a tattoo as a minor, for a lot of reasons (not of age of responsibility, not fully grown yet so will distort in its clarity, yes it can be laser removed but that still leaves a scar)
On a small side tangent - this tattoo could have been in a place only the boy could see (if it was truly just for him to remember his brother) but as it is was placed on his arm for ALL to see drew clearly unwanted attention didn't it.

Anyway, I digress.
Say this boy asked for a gram of coc aine, some speed, a bottle of Jack Daniels - etc etc, and they were then provided to the child. Now you can harp on all you like about doing "anything" you like to get them through it - but I would be unwavering in the fact that doing these activities would be illegal, irresponsible as a parent, and should be charged accordingly.

Parents are here to guide and protect their children - and sometimes that involves making a tough decision because YOU KNOW BEST, yes, thats is right, YOU as the adult know what is best for the child.
So I would say that means this woman should have told the child it was not best for him to have a tattoo - but he could get a temporary transfer, a memorial plaque in his room to remember his brother, a photo collage, whatever. But NOT a tattoo. That decision will have to wait until the boy is 18 and is a man - then he is free to get it plastered all over his back if he wants
Irresponsible.

It does concern other people as well, because despite peoples protestations, it is not a free for all in the US/UK, where individuals are completely free to do as they wish without recourse to the law.
Never has been, never will be.
People cannot see the big picture - if you raise children in a world where there is no thought or consideration for others, no concern about what others think and their opinions, basically a big f*** you to the world, then where else does that lead but anarchy. How will kids learn to hold a job down if they don't pay any heed to bosses. Stay out of jail if the law means nothing.

I made this point before. Children nowadays cannot be told - parents too soft, teachers too scared, police are laughed at by gangs who feel they can do as they please. All of this stems from a lack of respect being drummed into children from a young age - and this comes from the attitude of its all about me, me, me. No one else matters - and I shall not care about others either. Selfish beyond belief.

I agree that we have heard about some laws being taken too far, like someone being charged for selling lemonade from a lawn, and people are more justified in getting riled and angry about the treatment in events like this as it is clearly oppressive, and just plain ludicrous, than they are about this completely justified law.

Other cultures - it is 100% irrelevant whether they tattoo their young etc. We are not in that culture.
They do a lot of odd things in other cultures - but they would not be acceptable in USA/UK would they
Lip plates

Thank you for the compliment, my daughter is my everything.

But.....

Originally posted by facchino

Say this boy asked for a gram of coc aine, some speed, a bottle of Jack Daniels - etc etc, and they were then provided to the child. Now you can harp on all you like about doing "anything" you like to get them through it - but I would be unwavering in the fact that doing these activities would be illegal, irresponsible as a parent, and should be charged accordingly.
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Had she said something like this......my immediate thought would be that she was taking advantage of the situation rather than actually dealing with shock and grief.

The point I was attempting to make by first confessing that if I were to lose my child I don't think I could go on, then relating what my daughter and I went through and how important it was for me to help her deal with something so unthinkable, was to not only get people to think about the possibility that the mother was trying to help her son through something so tragic, but also that she herself, having experienced one of every parents worst nightmare, was emotionally in a place no one wants to be, AND trying to be strong and help her young still surviving son.

While her decision to allow him to get the tattoo might not be the most logical or well thought out action, I don't think I would be strong enough to emotionally survive the loss of my child, so I can't imagine how difficult it would be to try too keep that depth of emotional pain in check, while at the same time trying to help your surviving child come to terms with it's effect on him.

I imagine it would take a monumental effort, be completely and totally exhausting, and not a situation that would be conducive to logical, or in depth reasoning.

On a side note...I have seen what you describe in the way people are parenting...or not parenting..their children. But I'm far from the average run of the mill parent.....LOL, I never did quite fit in with the pack. My daughter was raised to value and respect life not "things" although I did not deprive her of what I could afford materially, but from a very young age as she outgrew toys, we would take them and donate them for children who weren't so fortunate so she learned about compassion and respect very early. And well... I could go on and on and on.......but in brief....she will be 22 shortly, she does not over indulge in alcohol, has never done drugs, is not sexually promiscuous , has never been in trouble with the police and well....I think she turned out damned good!

reply to post by Pixiefyre


It's funny how despite having a different take on this incident - I believe you and I are very similar in our parenting outlooks. I think it's safe to say that if both my girls turn out like I aim them to be (ie the same as your daughter) I will be an incredibly proud father.

All the best

reply to post by facchino


I wish you all the best, and I am sure your daughters will amaze you, your responses although we differed our take of this issue, were reasonable and logical, as opposed to irate disagreement.

I bring this up because I feel that being able establish and keep open, trusted,and logical line of communication with my daughter helped all the rest fall into place. We talked about everything, I talked to her about drugs, alcohol, peer pressure, clicks, bullying, everything openly and honestly. I even was able to beat the school system in discussing sex with her. In return she was comfortable discussing things like her people she knew doing drugs and other normally touchy subjects with me and valued that trust so much that one time a friend of hers suggested she sneak out after I was asleep and go out to Denny';s with her, and she told the girl there was no way she would do that, that she did not want to damage what we had, it was not worth it.