posted on Jan, 5 2012 @ 02:08 PM
mods: Please move the post if I have put it in the wrong area, thanks
I have been on ATS for a while now but this is my first post so bear with me
The title really explains alot but here goes...
I will give you some background info on me, I am 25, white gay male, living in the UK. I am not into the gay scene and live in a medium sized town
with a small, almost non existent gay community. I have not had many sexual partners in my life, less than 10 to be honest.
3 years ago I started to become ill, gradually getting worse and worse, I was having violent night sweats, lost lots of weight, I am 6ft 4 and my
weight plummetted to 8stone, I was being sick and felt really tired all the time, I would shake uncontrollably and my work mates were really worried
about me so they forced me to go to the doctors for a check up as I was being stubborn and was in denial about being ill!
I saw the local GP and he immediately sent me to the hospital for urgent tests, these included everything from blood tests to ct scans and I also had
a biopsy on my lymph nodes in my neck.
They diagnosed me as HIV positive. I was distraught and thought my life was over. I had a few close friends which I confided in but couldn't face
telling most of my friends and family, partly as I was trying to deny to myself what they had told me and also I was embarressed and ashamed that I
had the disease. I went through various emotions, shock, anger, upset, paranoid and mainly scared. Even with the diagnosis the doctors still kept me
in as I obviously had something majorly wrong with me too.
I had been in hospital undergoing test after test for 6 weeks when they finally found out that I had Hodgkins Lymphoma which was in the latest stage
of the cancer and wasn't looking promising for me.
I was distraught, but as I was very ill I was hallucinating due to my high body temperature and also due to shock.
I started a 6 month course of ABVD chemotherapy which thankfully cleared me of the cancer. I was able to leave the hospital, but I had to move back in
with my parents as I had to give up my flat as I was in hospital such a long time so couldnt pay any rent etc.
After the worst year of my life I feel I am finally getting my life back again, I have my own place and a good steady job. My health is not too bad
considering my past.
I have stopped taking the medication they gave me for the HIV as I believe it was making my health worst with the side effects being quite nasty from
the drugs I had to take everyday.
I have decided that if I am going to die, then so be it. I am ready and at peace with myself and am no longer scared of dying. To be honest I think
about it everyday and am quite excited at the fact of leaving this awful world and society we live in lol
Now the reason I am posting all this on ATS is, I believe HIV/Aids is a man made virus. I think it was either a weapon the government have produced to
kill mass populations, or is part of the global population control conspiracy, or was produced by the medication industry to keep feeding their
profits from the pills they have to make.
I just find it too hard to believe with all the money and research gone into finding a cure or vaccine that we are still no closer to finding one.
Comments and questions are all welcome