Dear Americans: A lesson in proper English.

Originally posted by FurvusRexCaeli
What's wrong with the pronunciation of aluminum? ...blah blah blah... coloris, and we will not (further) debase the classical roots of our shared language by putting it where it does not belong. Someone, after all, has to stand up for the purity and dignity of the language.

I point thee, good sir, at the Oxford English Dictionary, *the* definition of English as a language. Inside you'll find aluminium and colour.

I rest my case.

Just another case of the dumbing down of America I think some of the English spelling of words was too complicated for America, so they spelt the words as they sound. I guess it's similar to using your fingers to count.

Originally posted by captaintyinknots

A couple questiond for the OP:

Do you understand what a living language is?

Do you understand the meaning of regional dialect?

Yes and yes.

Two "questionds" for you...

Do you know what humour is?

And, on a scale of one to ten, where would you put your sense of humour, with Margaret Thatcher being 1 (very difficult to amuse) and an avid youtube user being 10 (easily amused)?

Also, please note the U in humour. And, to answer the pedants, yes, it turns out it's fine to start a sentence with a conjunction, despite what your school English teacher might have taught you.

And now for some British Stereotypes.
Nice Teeth.
I win.

Why is this still open?

All of thee hast trangressed and forgotten thine true tongue. Yeah, doth thou not understandeth how far ye have strayed from the path?
Looketh into thine own hearts and cleanseth thine ears and tongues!

KING JAMES ENGLISH B!TCHES!


You are all wrong!

reply to post by eightfold

And, to answer the pedants, yes, it turns out it's fine to start a sentence with a conjunction, despite what your school English teacher might have taught you.

And, I agree with you, and raise you a sentence ending in preposition. Wait, preposition is a noun, so that didn't work, yet the sentence is still truthful? I don't know where I got that at.

I really don't get the snide comments from people whenever I correct them over their rotten spelling/grammar. You may not give a # about what others think but if you cannot spell something right, I cannot take you seriously.

Especially if you are an American journalist that doesn't know how to proofread.

I believe the correct way to phrase it is ; "yeah we kicked your limey asses, get over it !!!!"

two times !!!!!!

reply to post by mad scientist

America has no human qualities. It is a place. As such, it has no intellect, but it may have intellectuals.
I hope I am clear, but you know foreigners....

reply to post by eightfold

We drive on the right side of the road, which is the left. We invented the internal combustion engine, you're welcome to put it on whatever side of the road you like.

edit on 25/11/11 by eightfold because: To add "Samuel Brown" in answer to the inevitable cries of "no, you didn't invent...."

Ah, touche! But what I think you are forgetting is that you may have invented the internal combustion engine, but you did not invent the first car. It would be okay to drive on the left side of the road if you lived in Australia, as the toliets there flush the wrong way too, but you don't, live in the northern hemisphere where the toliets flush correctly and people drive on the right side of the road. This backwardsness is what I believe to be the reason as to why Princess Dianna's driver crashed in right-side-of-the-road-Paris, and why Man. City striker Mario Balotelli cannot figure out how to correctly put on his training bib.

Sorry, I used those two people in a sentence together. Namaste.

reply to post by Trolloks


Aye, yer rite enuff dere wee man, yous Americans day use American Inglish.

Using your argument, us Scots use Scottish English. We don't call it a different language tho, we write it down the same and we call it what it is... a dialect.

I'm enjoying this.

Originally posted by syrinx high priest
I believe the correct way to phrase it is ; "yeah we kicked your limey asses, get over it !!!!"

two times !!!!!!

Twice my friend, twice.

And to be fair, if it wasn't for us you'd all be speaking Apache.

Any of you jive turkeys (snobby Brits) care to comment on this dialect?

reply to post by eightfold

tho, we write it down the same

" tho"? Proper English, or slang, master?

Originally posted by tooo many pills

Ah, touche!....

This backwardsness is what I believe to be the reason as to why Princess Dianna's driver crashed in right-side-of-the-road-Paris, and why Man. City striker Mario Balotelli cannot figure out how to correctly put on his training bib.

Sorry, I used those two people in a sentence together. Namaste.

It's ok, I forgive you. I don't follow football so I only vaguely know who Mario Balotelli is. You might have a point with the Diana thing tho, I hadn't thought of that. A quick search on ATS would give you some far more bizarre and less probable suggestions.

I'm going to steal yours and use it next time one of my mates brings up a Diana conspiracy... "It was all the fault of the French, they drive on the wrong side of the road."

I'm not so bothered about spelling differences, but these Americanisms ( which have insidously crept in to proper English ) really get my goat:

US English: I'm going to go get my car.
Correct English: I'm going to go and get my car.

US English: I had a couple beers.
Correct English: I had a couple of beers.

US English: I'm going to write my grandfather.
Correct English: I'm going to write to my grandfather.

US English: The Prime Minister said in London Friday.
Correct English: The Prime Minister said in London on Friday.

Also, if any Americans come to my fair city of Nottingham ( oh, sorry, ''Nottingham, England'' ), can you please be aware that it's pronounced, quite simply, Nott-ing-(h)im. It is most certainly not pronounced Nar-ding-HAM. Even Japanese and Korean tourists, some of whom barely speak a word of English, are far closer to the correct pronunciation than the yankees are.

Thank you for giving me my first true laugh of the day! More importantly, thank for introducing me to David Mitchell, he is wonderful. I cannot wait to see more of his humor...or is it humour...

Originally posted by swoopaloop
And now for some British Stereotypes.
Nice Teeth.
I win.

Why is this still open?

Admittedly I do have terrible teeth. It's all the cigarrettes and red wine I imagine. Sadly the American abuse of English isn't a stereotype, it's just the way it is.

It's still open 'cause it's less depressing than reading about the US & Russians acting like the Cold War is still on. It's all light hearted stuff, no offence is intended.

reply to post by eightfold

I'm going to steal yours and use it next time one of my mates brings up a Diana conspiracy... "It was all the fault of the French, they drive on the wrong side of the road."

I can't stop giggling

At least we concur that it is the French that we should really be bashing!

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes

Yankees earned the right to bastardize the language when we saved the Brits from Hitler.
Otherwise, you would be speaking German, like your ancient ancestors.