Debilitating Anger

ok, so i am looking for online clips from the movie and am disturbed at the theme of the movie and how it's supposed to appeal to that part of us that wants to be better and wants to show tolerance to other life, but the people sitting at the table in the fair that you saw for two seconds probably got paid a hell of a lot more than i did. Nothing sickens me more than a hypocrite on this level. that story was taking from themes that have nothing to do with robots, but he wouldn't use that theme with aliens... because then he would have to actually stick up for them by proxy, so he used robots and sold the story. not saying it's a ttue story but the details are very important in things like this. it's composite like i said... but people pay for things like things personally while men like this cash in and build secret bunkers for themselves.

all I got after years of being tormented and sent death threats by online stalkers is being able to HALF way tell the story on a website.

well.... since this will probably prove to be yet another fruitless endeavor to open someone eyes, I guess i will do as everyone else does... and sleep.

It's weird... the part "So we can't see God?"... that they are obviously so unclear on... very clear to me because i recall every muscle in my body clenched in that moment. I recall it felt that i nearly cracked my front teeth when pronouncing that first S in "so" because my jaw was that tense.

I don't know who all was a part of that conversation (in my mouth alone) but is my belief that it culminated from the hopelessness that exists within the jail itself... and many places are like that... hospitals, institutions. It's not always the person, or the poison, or the prodding that causes these things to echo out into the current living path... but it is definitely real energy, living energy and it comes from living things, it comes from people.

people suffer all the time and often in silence and don't even know why they suffer but their spirit speaks a common language on the level of spirits. This language would go unheard if it did not find opportune moments to mediate through. It does, it breaks through. Angles are listening, demons are listening, some people are listening and it's all about the same thing but just as demons get some spiritual license to do weird things (like the mothmen for example) you have men that think they have rights to do things when they are actually just contributing to the cycle of madness.

Rich men will pick your new religion and turn their young proteges into messiahs and redirect who you should really be feeling sorry for.

well, I'm still awake... and wondering if this wasn't enough to give anyone reason to believe something is amok... assuming you were lucky enough to find the videos i couldn't find. i actually had a copy of the song on cd but sold it last week for 2 bucks.

i guess i might have to tell the story of the federally protected evidence i was sent... guy i used to know was murdered and hells angels left their mark which let it be picked up by FBI. I don't think the guy who did it ever went down for it. as a matter of fact, I think i might have met him. i was indirectly introduced to him I believe, after i was sent the photo of the guy i once knew that was taken just seconds before his murder.

no #.

I don't even think my posts are appearing on this website or something.

Then i try to tell people i have been threatened online... directly and i have, by people who know things about me but no one gets it.

or maybe they just run away because they are scared.

I'll describe this guy that I was pointed out to in the parking lot. He's a short petite friendly looking wild looking long haired mexican.

I had a dream that I was in a small bathroom and this guy was crawling through the window and put his finger to his mouth as if to say "shh"

I walked into the other room to find james and my aunt who are both dead and I woke up. I met a guy a while later who looks just like this guy after being sent pictures of james naked at night with chain around his neck and fear in his eyes... the next picture was of him lunging forward being pulled to the ground very fast, very blurry.

james went missing. he did some bad things but was living in a camper by the river.

they found his body in river and pieces of his head elsewhere. fbi took it over. i don't think anyone was ever told anything but that they found evidence of motorcycle gang (dragged him up the river trail) so this gave FBI jurisdiction.

hell's angels are known to work for the FBI just as many other smaller gangs get popped for federal crimes...speaking of which. in that same parking lot i met a woman and a man who work within the prison system. hey appear to be regular country people into motorcycles but they have an underground bunker in their backyard and are masons. they live near a lodge, the woman is familiar with bike gang operations , making drugs, selling sex..
They were electricians who came4 all the way from ocala. my trainer pretended to not know them but she knew them actually... that is why they hired electricians all the way from ocala, they had been in recent contact and how I know thisis ironically... I started dating the mans son years later out of pure coincidence and this young mans life was also riddled with turmoil.

right before he moved out we got into a huge argument about his father who he was supposedly angry with... coming into our house and having a key. I was not comfortable with that while i was away from the house.
this mans wife had been calling all around asking if anyone had gotten arrested. no one had gotten arrested but after the argument, my house was broken into.

and I have no idea what happened to him.

well, i'm certainly not going to waste anymore time making post after post to tell a story that people obviously don't understand... so it looks like I will be having to beg or borrow for that memory card to make videos describing these things so that i can make everything so much easier on everyone else.

i swear to god i was talking to a relative about this who was telling me that they were going to help me find a lawyer and gather the funds to have the voices analyzed to show something weird is going on with these people and they are possibly dipping into criminal files now to put something on tv.

this relative was assuring me repeatedly that everything was going to be ok and that we would figure this out.

within two weeks she completely and totally forgot and asked me if a i wanted to go see a movie by this same director.

needless to say i told her no. and why do i want to go sit in a movie theater with other people anyway?
I can't even go see the people i want to... NEED to see. why would i want to sit in a dark theater and have "happy time' with a bunch of strangers.

this life is some kind of sick joke.
I'm pretty damn offended and I'm not the only one.

ok...couple things happened this weekend so far...one this weird lady gets behind me in walmart trying to start # with me... don't know she was trying to pull so i am just going to skip her for now, but that's turning into a regular thing.

police car with lights on rushed me from behind on a four lane with plenty of room to go around cause hardly anyone was on the road... i was in far left lane.... FOUR JUST GOING EAST LANES MIND YOU... like 8 or more lanes altogether- main drag). instead of going around me he just makes me pull over into the turning lane.... then goes straight up the road a good way... hangs a left and goes on down out of sight.

nobody was speeding but the cop and traffic was moving smoothly at a decent pace. he came up from behind me from a good distance back. he had one huge ass road to get to where he was going to be in such a hurry, so why does he want to hang behind me when there is plenty of space? well, i assumed to pull me over, so i pulled over....PSYCHE.

I called the police.

I called the police on the police and I tell you why... they kill people around here driving stupid a lot. so many people just getting run over by the police. Furthermore... a few months back i was coming up an interstate doing the speed limit plus a few (3-4) most people were going faster and i was in the right lane fixing to exit the interstate...got my signal on and am about to turn and out of nowhere he rushes me from behind and since the exit ramp was so narrow, he misjudged his stunt and literally drove me off the road. I was just sitting there at the bottom of the exit on the right shoulder saying wtf?
on 92... got rushed from behind,,,didn't go around until I turned my blinker on to pull off the road... plenty of room and that road is a very clear straight shot... we are talking o unusual issues with these roads that makes split decisions a factor... they plan this from a mile back and this is all flat and visible as hell around here.

just last year I went to go get my license renewed and they and resent an old ticket to the court of the county it was issued in... resent the ticket after like 9 years of it being addressed... then I recalled something.

I had this pink copy I was supposed to turn into the court after they sent it to me in the mail. I put it in my billfold and the guy who had found me the house I just moved into actually broke in and took my billfold and then gave it back to me the following day and told me I had left it in his truck. at first i believed him cause these things happen but the ticket was gone. I had to explain that i lost it.

that guy had been in the military and worked with the police because he had been nabbed by the police for bad checks years before and told me how he had repented of those ways and what not and started trying to get me to go to church with him. it didn't take long for me to see through him just like all the others that think they gotta mess... gotta stick they little fingers in whatever they can, but anyway. We had a falling out and he got the good ol silent treatment from then on out and i was otherwise so scared at the time i stopped leaving my house so i don't think he went back in... but who knows. those people are crazy. he either got pissed and sent it back in recently (which i doubt cause that was a long time ago) or he gave that ticket to one of my enemies.

anyway...couldn't get license renewed over an OBVIOUS duplication in the system... but check this out, the lady on the phone was able to get it cleared OVER THE PHONE... because they see these duplicated tickets in the systems a lot... because that is why they send you a piece of paper that you have to send back... admitting you got a ticket... but even if you don't turn it in... you can still take care of your ticket, but as soon as that paper gets sent back in... it submits the admission of a ticket in the system and they can nail you that way because it suspended your drivers license which is an automatic arrest.

They are trying to nab me AGAIN.
...but... I think I have recently pissed off an old cop who is no longer in the biz and has got one huge dust cloud around him. That dude don't scare me... he reeks of crookedness so bad I can't possibly be the only one who picks up on that. That vibes he speaks are not the real vibes he is sending out... and he aint funny and sarcastic like some of us, he's a liar who works to make others suffer.

I think he retired on the surface you know... but something is going on underneath. He aint that old. He is the one who signed the contractor i was working for who he acted like he hated, but really he is in cahoots with those contractors because they go into businesses and he likes to snoop and steal. this is the guy whose son was a life gaurd who got popped for underage girls... turned in states evidence on someone else.

these people broke into my #ing house because they think they are running a freelance policing operation.

The funny thing the first lady i spoke to saw the ticket and told em I would have to go back to court 3-4 hours away.

They have ways of screwing you hard.

well, since I called someone out on some local activity they were up to in the recent past, I have seen hide nor hair of them and that is definitely a good thing. I don't know if I mentioned that person in this thread because it has been quite some time since i have been on and I simply do not have time to reread the whole thing as i only have a short time on the internet.

i did read someone saying something about me saying "oh nooo... not by myself" is little wrong? I must have missed that first go around.

how is that wrong? I dunno but what it should tell you that I didn't get myself into all this mess and i shouldn't have to struggle so hard just to live a menial existence to work AROUND it. many people owe me explanations. A multimillion dollar movie director owes me an explanation. people in the music industry owe me explanations. people who have meddled with my life owe me explanations. they are not making things easier on me at all by calling case workers on me for made up reasons. sending people to my job, having people snoop around my house.... no, that is not my fault and it's not my problem to fix.... it's theirs. i have to deal with them and deal with this anger that they have injected in me... until someone serves up some justice. i do not have to wear a smiley face while doing it. I'm just saying, when you have people who are angry and seem more bitter than what seems reasonable for the average person.... just stop and consider that they do not have average lives.

My life on the outside seems average.... it's not. I cannot be expected to fit into that cookie cutter shape, and that was not my doings.

Now, maybe something else will come up in here while i'm still online but in the mean time.... I'm going to go try to catch up on other threads. Just so anyone who reads this will know... i am expecting to have log in issues with this account very soon. It's on an old email address and I'm having trouble figuring out how to change my email on here and when i do... it might even send something to the old one... which i cannot access and I had an old user name i was using but stopped using because i was being badly trolled and that account is all messed up now because of some thread that someone made entitled to me which was not fair in the least but i am used to getting targeted and i'm sure it will not be the last time it happens.

so for all those threads i am trying to catch up on while doing hundreds of others things.... this may be the last time this account is used.... you know how it is around these parts.