how are you doing today? This is really hard for me but i'll give it a try.
I have a problem... Well it's not really a problem, it's annoying me because I feel alive when I travel and I can't get anywhere without flying.
My girlfriend and I are going to Croatia in one week from now, her parents are driving us there by car.
We have to get back by plane, bus or train. They are staying a month and we have to go back after two delicious weeks of sunshine and beach(and the
Bosnian pyramids I really want to visit the place and see it with my own eyes) because we have to work and go to school again.
I have flown more then 12 times, I went to places in Europe and China.
I want to fly around the world and discover everything. A couple of years ago we had to go home(Home=Holland btw), we were in Dubrovnik(Croatia).
There was a big fire going on everywhere around us on our way to the airport.
It looked like WW3 was going off all around us, flames that were 100 meters high. Complete mountains that were on fire. There was only one road to the
airport, and we had to wait for the clear signal that was given by the fire department every 10 to 15 minutes. We arrived at the airport and it was
dark as night even though it was not that late in the day, the air was filled with these small burning particles and the wind was blowing like a
Inside the terminal we started drinking and I started noticing everything like in a movie, the sounds of the wind, the faces on the people around me.
I was getting a strange sensation in my body that something was about to go wrong. We boarded the airplane and the wind was so strong that the plane
shifted sideways wile standing still on the runway ready for take off. It was very scary, plane took off and after one minute or so we felt a big bump
and the plane fell out off the sky. People screaming and the sound of the engine turning off and on like crazy. The lights were flickering and stuff
that was on the floor came flying in front of my face. It was just like in the movies only I was there in it.
This continued for some time when it leveled again only to fall again...
I remember my famous last words and they were stupid as hell, "I KNEW IT!!".
The plane leveled again and the captain said some stuff about turbulence but that was no turbulence.. Until this day we do not know what happened.
And I am afraid of getting in a plane now, I have these crazy thoughts that it will happen just because I am in the plane. I have these dreams about
planes falling apart in the sky. I see me dying in every way possible during a flight. Wings falling off is the worst I must say..
Now we have to get back and the only option is by bus or by train. But the distance is so huge, by train it take you a whole day just to get back and
by bus is 12 hours of hell.
I really want to fly again.. I really do and I have the feeling my girlfriend is disappointed in me because I don't want to fly anymore... She is
really pushing it sometimes.. That her mom thinks I am no good just because I fear flying and all that crazy stuff. Not that I really care what her
mom thinks but it hurts me to see her get hurt with my fear of flying. I want to, I am not afraid when I look at planes I am not afraid of any thing
else.. I think it's more a fear of dying,,
I really need help..
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
- President Franklin D. Roosevelt
Well he did not experience what I did in that plane, but he is right.
Now I know all the statistics how safe it is and all that stuff, I have read a lot about it but nothing seems to help.
I really want to conquer my fears.
"I owned the world as I flew over it..."
- Charles A. Lindbergh
Does anyone have some tips for me to help my fear of flying and/or dying(or loosing control).
I don't want to be stuck in this little part of the world for the rest of my life..