Off Topic Thread!!!

One time, ok, one time I ate a bowl of corn flakes at Randy Newman's house and when I finished his mom told me it was his scab collection.

Okay bye

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste!

First go out and get one of these




Make sure you get one that has one of these.




Cross section of one of those.




Then get yourself one of these.




Hook it up to that udder thing above, and you can have one of these.





But I don't know why you'd want to.
It tastes like something that came out of a cow's teat.

I poked my eye out once...hurt badly...i heard a Cow go MOOOO!!! in the distance...it hurt badly

Am I winning??

Michael Jackson's, "BIllie Jean"
Misheard Lyrics:


People always told me
Be careful who you love
Don't go around touching young boys' parts.....

Making other people paranoid

I had this lump in the small of my back, under the skin. It was larger than a pimple. It never went away and was sore. It hit right where chairs with high backs (classroom type) would touch your back.

I went to the doc at the campus infirmary (one step above prison docs). He says it 'must be some kind of sebaceous cyst.' (Yummy. Probably cancer, and he doesn't want to tell me or something.) The dude "refers" me to a high-priced cosmetologist 'colleague' of his. Bet they both owned the clinic I was referred to.

So I go to the clinic, which is obviously focused on nose jobs and treating acne on Cheerleaders, and not on bizarro skin mutations.

I lie face down on the exam table, like the nurse says. The dock comes in with gloves on, looks at my back with the LARGEST MAGNIFYING LENS you've ever seen, as if he were about to roast me like an ant on the sidewalk under his million-candle-power searchlight which hangs from the ceiling. But he doesn't ever physically touch the spot, not even with a tongue depressor or something. I'm getting nervous, since he seems slightly afraid of this alien formation in the small of my back. I'm thinking its contagious . . . he won't touch it because it's syphilius . . . it's the plague . . . dude, I've got that flesh eating virus, and he doesn't know how to break the news . . . something is wrong, and he can't say it.

"What do you think it is?" I say

"What do YOU think it is?" says the doc, right back at me.

I am too totally annoyed, missing an important meeting with my supervising prof., and not having met my deductable, for this wisacre to pose zen Koans about my dorsal area. I snicker and say:

"What do I think it is? Personally, I think it's where "THEY" put the 'chip' in!!!!"

The doctor totally, really FREAKS OUT, and runs from the office. His nurse is looking at me like she's just realized I have a third eye. The front desk hands me a perscription for some penicillin which is written in such a shaky hand that my pharmacist couldn't even decipher it, and had to call the doc to understand!!!!


Dude, it was just a stupid #@)$(*)@!#$*) Joke.

And people say I'm Paranoid!

Did you ever have an experience like that, where people were afraid of YOU?

I've decided to make chili for dinner tonight.

Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, and all the bands that SOUND EXACTLY THE SAME LIKE THAT are really, really, REALLY, REALLY, annoying.

We are running out of time!!!!!!!



beep...beep... BEEP BEEP BEEP!!

If vegetarians eat vegetables,

what do humanitarians eat?

I've come to the conclusion i'm getting old.

Today I got excited while buying a new vacuum cleaner. I was comparing options and colors and prices and getting all giddy. When i realized what I was doing I just grabbed a nice Bissell and tossed it in the cart.

I haven't even opened the darn thing yet

I'm a gardener...no, not a Gardnerian...I gave that up awhile ago. A gardener type, mostly just dirty fingers, but, I swear my thumbs are getting greener.

N E Hoo...I'm sitting in my backyard with a book in my lap, soaking up the springtime warmth, listening to the birdies singing and looking at all the tender shoots of all my perennials poking their heads up out of the flower beds.

I'm happy...you know(?)...that feeling of contentment you get when you see many years of gardening paying off with another round of summertime glory.

So...I go back into the house because I don't want to get sunburnt and look up the 14-day forecast for my area on the web...and there it is...a week from now, just when everything is 'coming up roses', they're calling for freezing temps.

I hate that...April IS the cruellest month :bnghd:

oh, well...

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So, I find out today my sister's ex-boyfriend beat her up.

I can't stop thinking about how bad I want to twist his skinny little neck.

Originally posted by anxietydisorder
First go out and get one of these

Make sure you get one that has one of these.

Cross section of one of those.

Then get yourself one of these.

Hook it up to that udder thing above, and you can have one of these.

But I don't know why you'd want to.
It tastes like something that came out of a cow's teat.

delicious, got any steaks?


LYSECTOR CANNOT BE QUENCHED!

omfg I w4s lik3 on c0un73rstrik3 s0urc3 and I was like t0t411y pwning and n0sk0ped sum1 wit teh sc0ut and I R 1337

You would really need to look out for the droppings. :shk:

THe flame post







now for the mod edit on the smilies

[edit on 23-4-2006 by mrwupy]

*bump*

Bumped to turn to next page. due to too many smileys (in TristanBW...'s Post), causing chaos with the page format

He should get a warn for those smilies.....

Mechanic 32.

[edit on 4/23/2006 by Mechanic 32]

Edit: I restored the page to its normal bounderies, deleted your page bumps and order has been restored to the universe.

Now everyone back off topic

[edit on 23-4-2006 by mrwupy]

Mechanic, sweetie, whats the beef? Or the cow?

Are we not allowed to post smilies anymore? If not, the way to do it is GET RID OF THE DARN THINGS.

Whats it come to if you are not allowed to "smile" anymore?

Notice the violent smilie. Its not smiling.

Hey, that's 'on-topic'!

Yeah, I like smilies too, it's just that when you post a long string of them, the 'Post Reply' button rolls off of the screen onto my desk top, and knocks over my coffee cup!

to TristanBW.....(I forget all the numbers that follow the name)