Originally posted by yic17
The types of meditation I practiced before were one where I focused on my third eye and another where I listened to my thoughts until they're
i only have my own thoughts from my own journey and its subjective by nature, so with that being said; it seemed that focusing on specific parts of my
overall physical system (third eye) led to general imbalance. i focused on them as simultaneaously existing parts
of a bigger system. No
visualizations or anything like that, simply becoming aware of what was already there in the first place. a clear mind is a result of practice. i
see many sources say to clear ones mind as part of meditation, but acceptance of the thoughts as an equally supported part of the larger system is an
activity that will clear ones mind as a result
. Similar to how a muscle will gain mass with exercise. We dont necessarily exercise our
muscles by gaining mass, it is more of a result of the activity than the activity itself.
Perhaps trying again under another context (or method, if you will) could not only help you face your fear, but can show the true value of meditation
as an exercise to grow ones perspective, literally. Its all up to you though, obviously, and i will not personally mention it to you again if you are
simply not interested in such things right now.
One time I meditated .. the same night I went to sleep .. I fell asleep into the same reality we live in now. Meaning, I woke up thinking I woke up
but turns out I was still within my dream. And no, it wasn't just a lucid dream. I had lucid dreams before - this one - it was 100 times more real
than a lucid dream. When I woke up from that "dream" which felt just as real as reality - I could not tell if I was awake or still inside a dream
(even though I was already in this reality). It was frightening. I know I may sound like a sissy just now - but that experience was really scary. I
woke up in complete panic not knowing what's real anymore - or if anything IS ever real.
i think this sleep anomaly can happen regardless of meditation. i know i have had similar dreams when i was a child, before i knew anything about
meditation. In one case, it was a loop of waking up into what i thought was the "real world." Took a while to figure out when it was the "right"
Dreams can be a strange thing, and i feel their impact on our lives is more intertwined than generally thought. Things can feel "real"
because it is the same brain that processes data when we are awake. i am far from dismissing what you are saying, more that from my experience, it
was a dream, but they impact us in more ways than we currently understand.
Other than that experience, usually when I meditate to a deeper state - I felt like there are evil entities trying to stop me from keep going.
I know it could be just be my own mind creating fears. But I did have some paranormal (ghost) experiences in the past. Such as I fall into lucid
dreams (fully aware) yet I had no control - paralyzed and trapped with dark entities (ghosts) around hurting me physically. Though even those could be
just my own mind playing mind games. Uhh no I don't have any history of mental problems or anything. Function perfectly everyday
Anyways, simply I had many negative experiences whenever I meditate too deep that gave me fears of it ... -_-
i think it can be interesting the adversaries we willingly place for ourselves in our lives. That doesnt make it any less of a battle, but i would
probably say they are indeed your own mind. Either way, my own solution is the same for both, and that is focusing on being in a state of Love. Not
so much the directed emotion everyone is familiar with, but a mindful continuous state from which all actions arise. i think some will also visualize
pure white light around them as a form of protection. i think, experientially, the processes are one and the same.
When i personally approach meditation, it is not to achieve something which is not already present (like a deeper state, or higher dimension, etc),
but to allow my perspective to grow to include systems that are simultaneously existing with the system of my thought processes (or mind). i started
within my own body, then started to include that which happens around me, and eventually redefined/removed the barrier of within/without. i think the
mistake i made was in thinking that the universe i had become so jaded to (from consistency) was not part of the "spiritual" matters i wanted to
achieve and explore. When, i later learned that such things were always present, the only place they were not is in my own free will perspective.
i will also say that anything that seems "too complicated," probably is. i enjoy the saying that "Every thought and word we use to figure "it"
out brings us one step further away from what we seek." The meaning, to this one, is that it is not something which is understood through the
thought processes and mind alone, but is to be understood by "being," or the process that makes up the base to the thoughts.
i think that by simply sharing our individual experiences here, we can not only learn more about each other (and how we all face so many of the same
challenges) but we tend to learn more about ourselves too, if one is open to it