Owners of AboveTopSecret.com Announce Their Candidacy For President of the United States.

reply to post by searching4truth


Would do good

reply to post by nenothtu


Well, I hear Gaddafi's "nurse" is looking for job, perhaps you could contact her. Any health problems she needs to look after? Now, if you can get her, then your matter national security is sure to fly.

Originally posted by searching4truth
reply to post by nenothtu

 

google tells me it means "Chechen language"

Ooh! That's BAAAD! What would my sultry KGB trained Russian Language Instructor think if she were to see anything linking me with Chechens? I'd have to sleep with one eye open! It could conceivably cause the very first International Incident of the new administration!

Ahh, heck. It won't matter anyhow. She'd forget all about it once she saw the Vorgons pulling up with Nibiru to begin the demolitions.

Originally posted by searching4truth
reply to post by nenothtu

 

Well, I hear Gaddafi's "nurse" is looking for job, perhaps you could contact her. Any health problems she needs to look after? Now, if you can get her, then your matter national security is sure to fly.

I've seen her! I'll FIND a health problem, or MAKE one if I have to! National Security depends upon it, and NO sacrifice is too great!

Originally posted by BigfootNZ

Anyone else seriously creeped out by SOs and Springers pictures besides me, id vote for em but they have a "dont you dare mess with us" look about em, i dont even want to make eye contact...

ProTip: That will make them excellent "negotiators" in the international arena! With that look, the entire conduct of diplomacy could be changed!

reply to post by BrokenCircles



That's a bit hard on the wallet mate, I'll be blowing all my cash by then.

How about a proverbial tip of the hat instead.

Who knows, maybe we will meet on another plane of existence.

I just remember something........ 3 AM.

According to the campaign page, the duties will be shared because Springer can't work monday or friday or any day after 3:30 pm.

Who is going to the answer the damn phone at 3 am? Oh, right it doesn't matter.

I think maybe I should handle the "DEPENDS" department just in case there are any leaks!

Originally posted by searching4truth
I just remember something........ 3 AM.

According to the campaign page, the duties will be shared because Springer can't work monday or friday or any day after 3:30 pm.

Who is going to the answer the damn phone at 3 am? Oh, right it doesn't matter.

They could delegate that task to a dedicated group of ATSers. Some of us are up all night anyhow.

reply to post by nenothtu


Is this better?

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/9c1d755ab43a.jpg[/atsimg]

reply to post by SkepticOverlord


You 2, plus the 7 million monthly visitors are welcomed to my house for my 2012 bash. Bring your own survival gear, food and liquor. Way cool! I have some acreage but it would be a tight fit.

Damn I thought it was for real Nooooooo, My hopes are ruined I am gonna cry now

That is FANTASTIC! I laughed so hard, I cried a little. How I wish it were true. The platform, not the there will be no 2013 thing. Just terrific! Thanks for that SO and Springer!

You've got my vote! Do you need any volunteers for your staff? Do you provide plenty of coffee and donuts?

Oh - I'll provide the second line in 2013.

i cast my vote for chuck norris. yeah try voting against him!!!

Originally posted by THE_PROFESSIONAL
Damn I thought it was for real

Nooooooo, My hopes are ruined

I am gonna cry now

You can always write them in

I would love to see the news read those results. "And the next P.O.T.U.S. is.........huh.....wait.....um.......Skeptic Overlord/Springer......what the hell or who is a Skeptic Overlord/Springer."

reply to post by nenothtu


That will be one hell of phone tree, good thing it doesn't matter, because no one is gonna know who to call before our destruction anyway.

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by searching4truth
I just remember something........ 3 AM.

According to the campaign page, the duties will be shared because Springer can't work monday or friday or any day after 3:30 pm.

Who is going to the answer the damn phone at 3 am? Oh, right it doesn't matter.

They could delegate that task to a dedicated group of ATSers. Some of us are up all night anyhow.

If they need a 'painted' hand to answer the Red Phone in the wee small hours,
then BIAD is your man... girl, man... thing.
The delicate intricacies of the political world aren't lost on the hermaphrodite.
And he can choose the color of the curtains in the White House too.

A Simple Misunderstanding

Wait just a minute! This thread is now in Jokes, Puns & Pranks, which means... which means...

They aren't running?

Which would mean... would mean...

I won't get to be Deputy Assistant Overlord for Budget, Bribery and Graft?

There must be some mistake. Yes, that's it. It's just a simple mistake. Somebody accidentally moved the thread here. Of course!

Oh who am I kidding. It's all over. Now I'll never be able to plunder the treasury like every red-blooded American dreams. I should have stayed on Crak's team.

No, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I can handle the truth. Pretty much.

Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye...

reply to post by Majic


As all ATSer's know... Fort Knox is empty of gold and just holds
a badly dented UFO from Roswell.
And at least you have eyes!!!
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/15b58102b40b.jpg[/atsimg]