Musings on Christians

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posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:03 PM
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Ever notice that only Christians get possessed by Demons?

Ever notice that only Christians think they have the only path to the Divine?

Ever notice that only Christians believe in Hell and Satan?

Ever notice that only Christians hate people?(Gays, Witches, any other Religious Faith)

Ever notice that only Christians try to convert everyone into their cult?

Ever notice that Atheists know more about the Bible than Christians do?

Ever notice that only Christians think ETs are Demons?

Ever notice that only Christians think Earth is only 6000 years old?

Ever wonder why a loving God created Evil, HIV, AIDS, and Cancer?

Ever notice that only Christians call anything unexplainable in the Bible evil?

Ever notice that only Christians think that science class should be replaced with Creation stories or Bible study?

Ever notice that only Christians think that dinosaurs and fossils were placed there by the Devil?

Ever notice that only Christians counter every challenge with Well, The Bible/Scripture says . . .

Ever notice that only Christians blame the feminists, gays, lesbians, and ACLU for natural disasters?

Ever notice that only Christians enjoy waking complete strangers up at 7 AM on a Sunday to invite them to their church. (happens to me)

Ever notice that only Christians are looking forward to watching their unsaved friends and relatives suffer eternally in hell?

Ever notice that only Christians won't let your kids see Santa because it's an anagram for Satan?

Ever notice that when 6,000 people die in a disaster and three survive, only Christians thank God for his mercy and compassion?

Ever notice that only Christians honestly believe that anything any creationist has ever said is true?

Ever notice that only Christians speak the word "Jesus" it contains four syllables: JAY--ee-zus-ah?

Ever notice that only Christians believe that all non-Christians are Satanists?

Yeah, I know....I'm going to Hell for that one. But you all are coming with me!




posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:09 PM
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reply to post by autowrench
 


I am Christian. And I do not fit this sweeping generalization.

The people you are describing above are what are called "Fundies," for fundamental Christians. Please do not think all Christians are as you said.



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:14 PM
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I hope this is a joke, because most of what you said is completely and entirely incorrect.
There's no way you believe what you just wrote.



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:24 PM
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Ever notice that only Christians get possessed by Demons?
Demonic possession occurs all over the world, especially in places where christianity is uncommon or nonexistant.

Ever notice that only Christians think they have the only path to the Divine?
So... No other religion thinks it's path is the only way to salvation? Really?

Ever notice that only Christians believe in Hell and Satan?
No other religions or cultures have a concept of Hell? That's news to me.

Ever notice that only Christians hate people?(Gays, Witches, any other Religious Faith)
This is just absurd.

Ever notice that only Christians try to convert everyone into their cult?
Go live in Saudi Arabia.

Ever notice that Atheists know more about the Bible than Christians do?
Individual knowledge depends on the... Individual.

Ever notice that only Christians think ETs are Demons?
I've seen non-religious theories abound about ET's being evil.

Ever notice that only Christians think Earth is only 6000 years old?
No clue on this one, may have to side with you.

Ever wonder why a loving God created Evil, HIV, AIDS, and Cancer?
Not even gonna respond, this is by far one of the stupidest questions to pose to religious people.

Ever notice that only Christians call anything unexplainable in the Bible evil?
Lol... This has happened all throughout history.

Ever notice that only Christians think that science class should be replaced with Creation stories or Bible study?
You may be right here.

Ever notice that only Christians think that dinosaurs and fossils were placed there by the Devil?
Again, you're probably right on this.

Ever notice that only Christians counter every challenge with Well, The Bible/Scripture says . . .
I'll give you this as well, pisses me off.

Ever notice that only Christians blame the feminists, gays, lesbians, and ACLU for natural disasters?
I didn't know Westboro Baptist Church made up the entirety of the christian population.

Ever notice that only Christians enjoy waking complete strangers up at 7 AM on a Sunday to invite them to their church. (happens to me)
I guess you should stop going to work then too. Waking up is evil.

Ever notice that only Christians are looking forward to watching their unsaved friends and relatives suffer eternally in hell?
This is probably untrue in 99.99% of cases.

Ever notice that only Christians won't let your kids see Santa because it's an anagram for Satan?
If anyone won't let their children see Santa because it can spell out SATAN when rearranged, they're mentally retarded and their opinions hold no bearing.

Ever notice that when 6,000 people die in a disaster and three survive, only Christians thank God for his mercy and compassion?
Anyone who believes in a God could be prone to the same thing.

Ever notice that only Christians honestly believe that anything any creationist has ever said is true?
?

Ever notice that only Christians speak the word "Jesus" it contains four syllables: JAY--ee-zus-ah?


Ever notice that only Christians believe that all non-Christians are Satanists?
This is ridiculous.



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:25 PM
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That was stupid.



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:28 PM
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I read that as Missing on Christmas.



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:29 PM
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double post...
edit on 3/30/11 by EvolEric because: double post...



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:29 PM
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reply to post by autowrench
 


I've been contemplating religion, life and what really awaits us at the end of it all...

I am/was a believer... still undecided at this moment... funny me saying that... given my history with it...

but even with whats happening in my head tonight... I think your poorly mistaken OP

and what you wrote holds the same merit and credibility as any presidential administration in the last few years... meaning NONE!!!!

Live your life to suit you... pay no attention to anything else... Quit Christian Bashing... it makes you look immature and foolish... just like those fools at Westboro...

anyways... all the best



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:34 PM
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Ever notice how the OP is obviously trolling/ racist?

Please, take your hate elsewhere. all of those were lies. Im not xtian, but i found that post disgusting.



posted on Mar, 30 2011 @ 10:36 PM
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You have my pity, OP - not only cause you've traded everything for nothing, but because you think things like AIDS and the high frequency of cancer these days are naturally occurring and not caused by the evils of man.
edit on 30/3/11 by AdamsMurmur because: (no reason given)



posted on Mar, 31 2011 @ 02:39 AM
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more hate speech

from some one that says

that only christians hate

pretty mixed up

well peace and love and Godbless anyway



posted on Mar, 31 2011 @ 08:17 AM
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Originally posted by autowrench
Ever notice that only Christians get possessed by Demons?

Ever notice that only Christians think they have the only path to the Divine?

Ever notice that only Christians believe in Hell and Satan?

Ever notice that only Christians hate people?(Gays, Witches, any other Religious Faith)

Ever notice that only Christians try to convert everyone into their cult?

Ever notice that Atheists know more about the Bible than Christians do?

Ever notice that only Christians think ETs are Demons?

Ever notice that only Christians think Earth is only 6000 years old?

Ever wonder why a loving God created Evil, HIV, AIDS, and Cancer?

Ever notice that only Christians call anything unexplainable in the Bible evil?

Ever notice that only Christians think that science class should be replaced with Creation stories or Bible study?

Ever notice that only Christians think that dinosaurs and fossils were placed there by the Devil?

Ever notice that only Christians counter every challenge with Well, The Bible/Scripture says . . .

Ever notice that only Christians blame the feminists, gays, lesbians, and ACLU for natural disasters?

Ever notice that only Christians enjoy waking complete strangers up at 7 AM on a Sunday to invite them to their church. (happens to me)

Ever notice that only Christians are looking forward to watching their unsaved friends and relatives suffer eternally in hell?

Ever notice that only Christians won't let your kids see Santa because it's an anagram for Satan?

Ever notice that when 6,000 people die in a disaster and three survive, only Christians thank God for his mercy and compassion?

Ever notice that only Christians honestly believe that anything any creationist has ever said is true?

Ever notice that only Christians speak the word "Jesus" it contains four syllables: JAY--ee-zus-ah?

Ever notice that only Christians believe that all non-Christians are Satanists?

Yeah, I know....I'm going to Hell for that one. But you all are coming with me!


Ever noticed how comprehensively wrong you are?
"Ever notice that only Christians believe in Hell and Satan?" (Ever heard of Islam? Oh and the Buddhist Hell makes the Christian one look like day care!)
"Ever notice that only Christians hate people?(Gays, Witches, any other Religious Faith)"
Christians are not allowed to hate anyone. Ergo, people who hate are disobeying Christianity.
"Ever notice that Atheists know more about the Bible than Christians do? "
You wish.
"Ever notice that only Christians think ETs are Demons?"
No we don't. At least not all of us do.
"Ever notice that only Christians think Earth is only 6000 years old?"
A tiny minority of Christians might think that, but most don't.
"Ever notice that only Christians call anything unexplainable in the Bible evil?"
Er, no. In fact I am not sure what you're driving at here, I think your grammar is a bit confused.
"Ever notice that only Christians think that science class should be replaced with Creation stories or Bible study?"
Only in America, afaik.
"Ever notice that only Christians think that dinosaurs and fossils were placed there by the Devil?"
No, can't say as I ever have noticed that... Maybe it's an American thing?
"Ever notice that only Christians are looking forward to watching their unsaved friends and relatives suffer eternally in hell?"
Absolutely not! Goodness only know what Christians you've met! (If any...)
"Ever notice that only Christians speak the word "Jesus" it contains four syllables: JAY--ee-zus-ah?

Ever notice that only Christians believe that all non-Christians are Satanists?"
Absolutely only in America! (Or in your head...) There are more than 1 billion Christians in the world. Why judge them all by fewer than 50 million fundamentalist Americans - and a few hundred Australians and New Zealanders?
Vicky



posted on Mar, 31 2011 @ 09:36 AM
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reply to post by autowrench
 


Ever notice that every anti-Christian thread/post gets flagged/starred out the yazoo?

Ever notice that threads like this are a dime a dozen?

Ever notice that 99% of the opinions expressed in the OP are patently ridiculous?
edit on 3/31/2011 by TNTarheel because: reworded



posted on Mar, 31 2011 @ 11:42 AM
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Originally posted by chancemusky
Ever notice how the OP is obviously trolling/ racist?

Please, take your hate elsewhere. all of those were lies. Im not xtian, but i found that post disgusting.


No hate intended, friend, I do not hate anyone. These musings are based on experiences I myself have had with religious folks over the course of my life, and believe it or not, the musings fit just right on a lot of religious people. Notice I did not group all Christians into one group, like Christians are prone to do on a lot of things. I myself have a few Christian tenets, but I am not a racist, or a hate monger. Just love a good laugh. I would bet every Christian fits at least one.



posted on Mar, 31 2011 @ 07:48 PM
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First off, where do these Christians live? Most of the ones (I say most, because there are some exceptions), accept you for who you are as a person. I haven't heard any of them curse out another for their choice of religion, which makes sense, since we have a Buddhist, Muslim, a couple denominations of Christianity, an Atheist, and an Agnostic (myself). One of my closest friends is a "die hard" Christian, and yet they still don't meet a lot of what the OP posted.

I will say though, that there are some people out there that consider Christianity the "true" religion (I'm sure every religion has these type of people). One person I met really didn't want to hang out with me because I was Agnostic. I tried to explain my religion, but they wouldn't have any other viewpoint.

As for not letting kids see Santa because it really stands for satan, I think you watched a little too much of Churchlady from Saturday Night Live
. Seriously though, it seems you've met that 1 in [insert number above 100,000 and below 1 million] people that believe Santa is the devil.

Also, the only time I've ever heard a Christian (or anyone, for that matter), put 4 syllables in "Jesus" is when they are:

1. Going down a hill on a roller-coaster.
2. Getting caught in the middle of a natural disaster.
3. Getting caught in the middle of a bad thunderstorm, with cloud-to-ground lightning, hail hitting your back, wind gusting at 70mph, and a tornado siren going off (guilty).

4. Suffering some sort of physical injury, often to toes or fingers, and also in dark places.
or:
5: Sarcasm, as when someone swerves into your lane with no turn signal and immediately slows down to 20mph below the speed limit.

Finally, you can't honestly believe that only Christians hate people - does that mean that the terrorists in the Middle East are Christians? (Last I checked, they still followed Islam). I mean, the terrorists hate "us" because we are inferior to their faith (us collectively, because it isn't just one group of people they hate).

With a concluding remark, a lot of the OP's statements could be applied to any religion, except for some (such as the ET one, and the SANTA/SATAN).

PS: Me being an Agnostic, I have tried to read all the major holy books to understand more about each religion. In my collection, I so far have a few bibles (including a study bible), the Koran, Some teachings from the Golden Dawn & other occult-based groups, as well as the Bhagavad Gita. Once again, it is possible that an Atheist could know more about a bible than a Christian, but not every single Atheist on the planet knows more about the bible than a Christian.

PPS: Sorry for injecting some humor into my post, just in case it's not welcome.


-fossilera



posted on Mar, 31 2011 @ 09:17 PM
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Originally posted by autowrench

I would bet every Christian fits at least one.

You'd lose badly! I am a Christian, and I don't fit any of them... Not even one of them. It seems to me you'ra fantasist.
Vicky



posted on Mar, 31 2011 @ 09:28 PM
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I am tempted to respond to the OP but I must not....

It would be breaking my fast
edit on 31-3-2011 by Frogs because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 1 2011 @ 04:18 PM
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reply to post by fossilera
 




First off, where do these Christians live?


Southern Ohio. Bible Belt country. We don't have any Buddhist folks, but Muslims are considered to be children of Satan here, an Atheist is mentally ill, or on drugs, as is anyone who has higher knowledge to share. I didn't mention how they see me, did I? If witch burning was still legal, I would not be here posting.




As for not letting kids see Santa because it really stands for satan, I think you watched a little too much of Churchlady from Saturday Night Live . Seriously though, it seems you've met that 1 in [insert number above 100,000 and below 1 million] people that believe Santa is the devil.


Last year, at Christmas time, in out local newspaper, in the religious section, which take up a whole page, there was a harsh rant on Santa and the meaning of the pagan ways of celebrating Christmas. Kids were warned not to go see Santa, of eternal damnation would surely follow. Of course they all still celebrate Easter, not knowing it was a pagan festival also, in celebration of the Goddess Oestre.

Every other car has a Jesus fish on the deck lid, and most wear a cross around their neck. To hear them talk, they are very cult like. There are many churches in this area, but the people are near the same. This is also the murder capital of Ohio, we have more unsolved murders than any other Ohio county. Had one a few days ago, yesterday, it was on CNN when they found the body and arrested the killers.



Also, the only time I've ever heard a Christian (or anyone, for that matter), put 4 syllables in "Jesus" is when they are:


Ever been to a Pentecostal Revival meeting? Or a Church of God church? Ever seen snake handlers? These are places with you will hear the word in 3 or 4 syllables.

Like I said, these musing are based on what I myself have seen, heard, and witnessed in my life living in the Appalachian Mountains. I did not mean it as an attack on Christians, on the contrary, I thought a good hearty laugh would be good for everyone. I could post a like musing on Wiccans, or any other faith. And friends, if you cannot laugh, and cry at the things religion has caused over the many years humanity has been here this cycle, and the rather funny things people do, then what do you laugh at?

If I have offended anyone, I offer an apology.



posted on Apr, 1 2011 @ 07:56 PM
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Originally posted by autowrench

Southern Ohio. Bible Belt country. We don't have any Buddhist folks, but Muslims are considered to be children of Satan here, an Atheist is mentally ill, or on drugs, as is anyone who has higher knowledge to share. I didn't mention how they see me, did I? If witch burning was still legal, I would not be here posting.



Alright, I've got no experience with any of them in Ohio (up here in Michigan we must have all the "normal" ones).





Last year, at Christmas time, in out local newspaper, in the religious section, which take up a whole page, there was a harsh rant on Santa and the meaning of the pagan ways of celebrating Christmas. Kids were warned not to go see Santa, of eternal damnation would surely follow. Of course they all still celebrate Easter, not knowing it was a pagan festival also, in celebration of the Goddess Oestre.

Every other car has a Jesus fish on the deck lid, and most wear a cross around their neck. To hear them talk, they are very cult like. There are many churches in this area, but the people are near the same. This is also the murder capital of Ohio, we have more unsolved murders than any other Ohio county. Had one a few days ago, yesterday, it was on CNN when they found the body and arrested the killers.



I want a copy of that newspaper - just because the entire incident sounds amusing on so many levels


Then again, maybe they do have it right, because kids ask Santa for everything, and hope that he gives it to them (so on one side of the Santa duality, Santa represents greed, and on the other side, as someone who brings joy to children everywhere - and some adults).




Ever been to a Pentecostal Revival meeting? Or a Church of God church? Ever seen snake handlers? These are places with you will hear the word in 3 or 4 syllables.

Like I said, these musing are based on what I myself have seen, heard, and witnessed in my life living in the Appalachian Mountains. I did not mean it as an attack on Christians, on the contrary, I thought a good hearty laugh would be good for everyone. I could post a like musing on Wiccans, or any other faith. And friends, if you cannot laugh, and cry at the things religion has caused over the many years humanity has been here this cycle, and the rather funny things people do, then what do you laugh at?

If I have offended anyone, I offer an apology.


Nope, haven't even heard of the term Pentecostal Revival meeting (I must be pretty isolated up here). The few seminars and meetings I've been to also didn't use a four-syllable-Jesus, but this was only at three churches at most.

As for offending, I didn't find that much to be offended by (although, you should have stated at the top of the post that this was about your "local" group of Christians - because some probably took it like me and thought you meant all Christians; Sorry if I missed that part of the post). The Santa/Satan one had me laughing though, because I can't believe someone would actually believe that.

-fossilera



posted on Apr, 2 2011 @ 07:13 PM
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www.youtube.com...

This disproves OP, trolling or not.






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