Woman Says Rape, Judge says Sex Was In The Air

Many men have a misconception that all women when dressed sexily are looking to have sex, this is outdated and attitudes need to change.

Here in the UK we have had a judge clear a man of rape, because he was too drunk to reaslise he was having sex with the wrong woman

A man accused of rape in a hotel was freed yesterday after convincing a jury that he had stumbled into the wrong bed by mistake.

Haydor Khan said he had undressed in the dark and was so drunk that it was only when he was having sex that he realised he was with the wrong woman.

Full story

reply to post by intrepid


What do the "sins of the past" have to do with this? Really?

Rape is still a huge issue today.

I would bet you money that there are far more cases where a women really is raped, and no one every pays for it, than there are cases of legitimately innocent men sitting in jail because of some malicious woman who changed her mind after consensual sex.

Im sure you meet lots of innocent men in prison. Virtually everyone in prison is innocent. If you ask them.

There are lots of women whose lives are shattered too, and you guys have an "oh well" attitude. I personally dont feel "oh well" about the possibility of men being accused by some woman of raping them after consensual sex, but it seems to me that my suggestion, that you keep your penis out of women you barely know and who are sending out mixed signals is too hard for some of you to even contemplate.

I just cant feel sorry for guys who want the right to behave irresponsibly and recklessly, and who are crying about the fact that there may be consequences for having sex with sketchy women.

Hire hookers if you want sex with a stranger. Then you dont have to worry about it.

Inconsistencies, my ass. I've had men that i initially said no to keep coming on strong to the point I've said what the hell and kissed them only to be sorrier than hell that I did because two seconds later they turned creepy and totally validated my initial suspicions and turned me off totally to the point I then said no only to have them turn even creepier. I don't see inconsistencies in this story at all. Especially for people who had a few drinks in them. That her friends left was unfortunate. They probably were drunk to and misunderstood something. Still no invitation to rape. She may have been caught in a drunken night out, but she said, "No." What part of that is unclear?

reply to post by hotbakedtater

Welcome.

And how do these "analyzers" here in this thread even know she wasn't kicking and screaming? Her friends left her. So who was around to hear?

Besides all this, I took the subject here as not being rape or the sordid details of the case at all. The criminal was convicted. We're not here to second guess that conviction. This is about the judge's possible very inappropriate comments during sentencing.

Originally posted by James1982

Originally posted by TheLoneArcher
At any point of a sexual encouter, if either party decides that enough is enough and says "stop" or "no", or indeed indicates in any way that the encouter should terminate, that is it. Pure and simple. No one, and I mean no one, even in a marital relationship, has the right to enforce their sexual desires upon an unwilling party.

Be it male or female, the offender should be punished.

I agree with you here, but am a little curious about something. There was a case I heard about some time ago where a man and woman were having sex, in the middle of it the women wanted to stop, and I think the guy took like 30 seconds or something to stop, and was charged for rape.

Where does the line get drawn? If a woman says no, do you have 5 seconds to stop, 2 seconds, 1 second? Should all men engaged in sexual intercourse have some sort of "sex ejector seat" where they can press a button and get launched off the woman as to avoid rape charges? Seems like the line gets a little more blurry once sex has already started, but seeing as that (seemingly) wasn't the case with one I think the guy should definitely be thrown in jail.

Start counting to 30. Seems like a very short time when you say "30 seconds", but if you start counting out loud you realize it's actually a pretty long time under this circumstance. Seems like poor judgment on both sides in the case you mentioned, but when she yells stop, it should take no more than 5 seconds to stop.

reply to post by Illusionsaregrander


Unless there is evidence that the woman is being physically threatened, then what is unreasonable about expecting her to physically retaliate?

There is a huge difference between robbery, kidnapping, and rape. Quit trying to compare apples to oranges.

I didn't say I liked the yes no game, I only pointed out that I have been sucked into it, and that a lot of women like to play that game. Try climbing off your moral high horse.

I have known guys who have been falsely accused of rape, under the most ridiculous of circumstances.

I have also known women who have been raped, and none of those stories are date rape stories. Maybe you might wan to clue in on the reality that rape is not about sex, which makes the whole date rape scenario all that much more suspicious.

Your odds of being falsely accused of rape are far, far lower than the average womans odds of being actually raped are.

So that makes it alright to send an innocent man to jail?

By your same logic, it is ok for a woman to play the yes no game, but if the guy falls for it, and it backfires, well, screw him?

That is some pretty twisted logic.

reply to post by hotbakedtater


Ugh!

Look at the pic of that judge - I think he was getting off on it.

Sex in the air - he wishes.

One more example of antique judges who have lost it, and who like punishing women.

reply to post by hotbakedtater

For God's sake, a woman has to fight and scream or it is not rape?

Didn't say that, so stop twisting my words. If you are honestly looking for honest discourse on the subject, then stop the misrepresentation.

As I pointed out above, rape is not about sex, it is about retaliation and physical abuse. The women I have known who were raped were physically abused, as in brutally beaten. There was no question about what happened. Personally, I find the idea that there is a link between sexual desire and physical abuse to be extremely perverse.

Date rape is a whole different category. I might think I just have a problem dating too many of the wrong kind of women, but I know too many friends who have ran into the same types.

Guys don't like the yes no game, we hate it, even if it sometimes results in some spectacular endings. We much more prefer a girl who doesn't play head games.

Who is the real pervert in these situations?

Originally posted by poet1b
reply to post by hotbakedtater

 

For God's sake, a woman has to fight and scream or it is not rape?

Didn't say that, so stop twisting my words. If you are honestly looking for honest discourse on the subject, then stop the misrepresentation.

As I pointed out above, rape is not about sex, it is about retaliation and physical abuse. The women I have known who were raped were physically abused, as in brutally beaten. There was no question about what happened. Personally, I find the idea that there is a link between sexual desire and physical abuse to be extremely perverse.

Date rape is a whole different category. I might think I just have a problem dating too many of the wrong kind of women, but I know too many friends who have ran into the same types.

Guys don't like the yes no game, we hate it, even if it sometimes results in some spectacular endings. We much more prefer a girl who doesn't play head games.

Who is the real pervert in these situations?

Seriously? are you sick or something? Maybe some women are beaten, but not all, and while I hesitate to make a guess I would say very few. My neighbor was raped. She wasn't beaten, but it was still rape. She didn't fight back because her little girl was due off the bus from school any moment and she was afraid he would retaliate on her daughter, but it was still rape.

as for the second part of your post. Women don't view sex they way men do. What you may think of as playing head games, is the woman trying to outweigh the risks versus the benefits. There is a lot more at stake for a woman than there is a man,

reply to post by calstorm


A woman being held hostage in her own home isn't date rape. Can you tell the difference?

And you assume men don't out weigh the risks.

Seems to me you assume all men are guilty because some monsters do what you described.

How is going to jail and spending your life labeled as a sex offender because a man misinterpreted a woman's intentions, which may have changed after the fact fair?

I think it is just too easy for you to condemn others, irregardless of whether of not they are actually guilty.

You act as if I condone rape, I don't.

Seems to me you condone convicting an innocent man, just to be safe.

That isn't justice.

Seems you don't care about the difference.

reply to post by Merigold


We live in a very dangerous world. Unfortunately, women DO have to be more responsible for their own personal safety. It is what it is, dangerous. The fact is, that you can say "no", but provocative clothing , flirting with a stranger, and perhaps drinking too, speaks a different language. It is clearly a "mixed" message. Rape is indefensible, however, women must take more responsibility for their own safety when they are out and about in a questionable setting with questionable people. An entirely different situation is when a woman is raped in her own home, in her own bed, or when she is leaving a store and getting into her vehicle.

Originally posted by Illusionsaregrander
reply to post by King_John

 

So all women at the beach are asking for a good rapin?

Where are you from? Who raised you to think like that?

So if some guy breaks out a wallet full of hundreds, and I rob him, I should get a slap on the wrist because he was begging to be robbed?

If someone leaves a child unattended, I should get off with a warning if I snatch it up? Because the parents were just begging to have their child stolen?

What a ridiculous idea.

Edit to add, And God help the plumber with his butt crack hanging out, lord knows he is just begging to be buggered, right? Lol.

edit on 25-2-2011 by Illusionsaregrander because: (no reason given)

Every one of these scenarios demonstrates irresponsible behavior. Think about it. In the disturbed and dangerous world we live in, to do any of these things you mention is irresponsible and leaves an invitation to trouble. Yes, even the girls at the beach. Some women today wear barely anything at the beach. Is that being responsible for your own safety? Think!!

reply to post by poet1b


"Utmost resistance" is what you are referring to. Not all women can scream, punch, or kick, or whatever you think they should do. It all depends on the one doing the rape, and what the woman is capable of doing. However, clearly, according to what I have read, this woman put herself into a very dangerous situation and should have taken more personal responsibility for her safety.

What is this? Is this Sharia law.

I bet if this happend in a Muslim country they would be screaming to high heaven--SHARIA LAW

This IS WESTERN CHRISTIAN LAW

Originally posted by poet1b
reply to post by Illusionsaregrander

 

When it comes down to your word against her word, if you don't have a signed contract you are screwed these days.

How about if we start making women responsible for their own behavior. That would be a nice change. How dare we expect a woman to make it perfectly clear that she means no, like by physically demonstrating that she is being violated by some screaming, fighting, and attempting to run away. Instead what we have is a system where the woman can just go with the flow, and then make up her mind she was raped later on.

Then again, maybe we should do business contracts like that. I said no at the beginning, so I was raped by the salesman who talked me into buying something I could not afford.

People shouldn't be going to jail for buyer's remorse.

I am a woman and I totally agree with you. In this world, women DO need to take more responsibility for their behavior and safety when they are out and about going to bars and meeting up with strangers. I know, women feel they should be able to dress and act however they want. Ok, if that is how they feel, then they need to accept the consequences.

reply to post by hotbakedtater


Recently, the repbulican GOP wanted to call rape, rape, only if a woman used "utmost resistance". If she didn't, it's not rape. However, there was such an outrage over this, the GOP backed off of their definition of rape.

Originally posted by Hawking

Originally posted by King_John
While I agree that this judgment was dumb, and rape is rape no matter what, woman really should dress for an occasion. If you don't want guys to think sex is an option, don't try to put it out there with you're attire.

If a girl is dressing to impress and get laid...that still doesn't mean she wants to get with every guy she sees out that night. Sex may be an option but with a guy she WANTS to hook up with. Maybe that's any guy she finds attractive, but it's still up to her

Until it's socially acceptable to wear a sign saying who you want to bang while you're out, we'll have to control ourselves

It is the girl's choice to go to a bar, drink, flirt with strange men and leave with them. If that is what she wants, to be so incredibly irresponsible for herself, then she must be willing to accept the consequences..

reply to post by aero56


Well, what do you mean by women need to take more responsibility?

How can a woman be responsible for criminal sexual deviant behavior of another person?

Please explain.

reply to post by hotbakedtater


It is her own sexually deviant behavior, for which she should be held responsible.

Women who like to play these head games, encouraging seduction with no intent of reciprocating should NOT be allowed to destroy men's lives because she decides he didn't follow her rules adequately.

Why should buddy go to prison for 10 years and be on a sex crimes list for a girl who obviously wanted to get down.

I would have to say, that in this particular case, if this woman was resisting this guys sexual advances, and her girlfriend and his friend left her alone with a man she was trying to get away from, then they should be charged with accessory to rape.