Let’s face it there are times when the War on Terror on the domestic front here in the United States reaches a level of absurdity as to be almost
It probably would be laughable at times if it weren’t for the frustrating inconveniences and sometimes stinging indignities Americans suffer as the
brave men and women of Homeland Security, the TSA and Federal and Local Law Enforcement wage there ever vigilant, and sometimes very harrowing war on
the would be “Evil Doer’s” of the world!
It’s easy for us to make light of villains like the “Underwear Bomber” and “Shoe Bomber” until you become the brave man or woman in uniform
that has to face down this…
The Toy Robot!
This 8 inch toy robot was so assured and committed to carrying out a terrorizing act on innocent and hapless Americans he unflinchingly and brazenly
stared down the police without fear as the Police sealed off a hundred square yard area in downtown Denver on the 1st of December this week, as they
bravely assessed the threat and patiently waited for the robot’s demands!
Traffic was detoured and snarled and pedestrians denied access to local businesses and homes as the area was cordoned off in one of those
“Interventions” by Homeland Security ‘you never hear about’.
"Are you serious?" asked Denver resident Justin Kent, 26, when police stopped him from proceeding down 20th Street. Kent said that he lived
just past the closed area, but was told he would have to go around via Park Avenue.
"I can't believe it. This is ridiculous," said Kent.
The Patriot Act
Kent is obviously not a good patriotic, decent God fearing American and is likely a “Domestic Extremist” or possibly an “Internet Conspiracy
Theorist” or some other kind of malcontent, who just can’t recognize the seriousness and potential danger of a 8 inch plastic toy robot prowling
the streets of Any Town USA.
Meanwhile people who understand what the Patriot Act is really all about, drinking your self into a near state of stupefaction as to achieve the
drunken mindset of the bureaucrats, law enforcement personnel and politicians waging it did what good patriots do!
Some pedestrians, unable to reach their vehicles at a lot adjacent to the robot, decided to wait it out at a bar on 20th Street, asking uniformed
officers to let them know when the road reopened.
Naturally they took real interest then and pride as they inebriated themselves with the confidence that not only would ‘our side’ be able to
eventually outsmart the toy robot, but that the police would be too busy congratulating one another as their adrenalin rushes subsided in the haughty
aftermath of victory to hand out DUI Tickets.
They were not disappointed, for it only took an hour or so until…
Robot v Robot!
A bomb squad robot was sent it to examine the troublesome robot before a bomb squad officer, dressed in heavy protective gear, took a turn.
Our robot met ‘their’ robot and terrified it with its sophisticated surveying and analytical abilities and superior range of movements!
Yet evidently its refracting remote control powerful video lens spotted the one thing every man and woman in blue that dramatic day was secretly
fearing, a “Made in China” engraving!
Knowing then that while the toy robot had no explosives the plot finally was clear, it meant to do harm with its cheap easily separable parts that
could present a choking hazard to the Officers if swallowed, no doubt replete with toxic glues and paints that could result in a harrowing frantic
cross town trip to the Poison Control Center.
So naturally the brave Bomb Control Officer who evidently drew the short straw for this potential suicide mission in protecting the ‘Homeland’
dressed to the nines in protective gear and before making the Sign of the Cross to confront the plastic beast asked him self “What the Duke would
Sadly he lamented he could not go join the stranded commuters and pedestrians in the bar and bravely sauntered up to the toy robot where he was pretty
darn sure it looked like a toy robot!
The Villian Meets it's Fate
What to do, what to do, what to do?
Then the answer dawned on all those brave men and women assembled to face down this most villainous and malignant of children’s toys…if it would
not blow itself up in true terrorist fashion then they would blow it up!
Murray said that the bomb squad couldn't be sure if the robot was safe or not, and so remotely detonated it at about 5:30 p.m. to "render it
safe." The robot exploded into several chunks.
There are a million stories that go unsung in the heart of the naked city, but this one was just too important to let the story go untold, when the
victorious officer was asked to sum up his uncommon bravery and valor that dark December day as the War on Terror came to Denver he replied…
“There was really nothing to it”
The good men and women at the bar cheered and as they piled out they too realized that when it comes to the War on Terror there is really nothing to