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Yeah, it's like you'd rather be in a post-crash or post-apocalyptic world than making copies for a pointless company or doing homework for a class you don't really care about.
Originally posted by Pentothal
ideal != observation = unhappy.
Pay attention to how you think for the next hour. Try not to drift into your thoughts and daydreams. Try to stay at the edge of your perceptions (listen to every sound, feel every little sensation on the surface of your body).
You may last less than a minute. You may drift into the mind made narrative. Simply bring yourself back to the cutting edge of awareness and try again.
After an hour of this, try and calculate the percentage of your life you spend in your mind made reality rather than awake. It shocked me greatly. I have been walking in a dreamworld most of my life. I can now see that almost everyone is on autopilot.
Be aware and observe where you are as intensely as possible. Do not judge what happens. Just observe and act consciously. Unhappiness is when your demands are not met. When things do not happen the way you want them to. Do not make the demands and one can not be made unhappy when they are not met. Awake and pure observation.
Originally posted by amc621
reply to post by mossme89
Buddy, let me tell you something. ENJOY what you are doing right now. I felt THE EXACT same way about sitting in a class room that I didn't think there was going to be anyhting I would use the rest of my life.
What you can do is watch people interact, watch how the teacher tries (or doesn't try) to get his message across. If you can't stand the class, try to learn about the people around you, it will go a long way in life.
Believe me your life is NO WAY as bad as you think. No one will ever be able to convince you (no one convinced me), but I wish I could go back to those days now knowing what I know now.
Originally posted by schuyler
Well, look at it this way, fella. Once you leave school you might actually have to work for a living. You'll have to pay the rent and pay for your own food. If you decide you can't refrain fron getting laid you might even have responsibiloty for someone else's life. If you think life is bad now, just wait until you have to work for someone you don't like. Then you'll find out what the definition of "bad" is.
Originally posted by mossme89
I'm so sick of going to school and learning about things that other people deem important, being indoctrinated. I only do it because i feel like i have to in order to do anything in society. Nowadays, you can't get a good job without a college degree. I'm still in HS btw. Plus, being in school gets me around people, which is really one of my only pleasures, socializing. But secretly, i resent the bureaucrats and elite who make me do this. Why should i have to learn Spanish to graduate? I feel helpless and powerless against this machine we call the system.
I think every day of why i'm this way. Why i'm able to see how messed up society is, and why i just can't seem to buy into a 9-5 job and schooling. Why i resent authority. Why I'm OCD and have a temper. Why I'm a bit of a loner, introvert yet am happiest around people (a bit of a paradox).
I'm rooting for the whole 2012 thing because frankly i can't stand it anymore. But the rational part of me tells me that nothing will really change. I don't know what will happen.
I keep trying to envision a society that i would like to be in, but think of a logical way to get from here to there (open, free society, abundant resources, free energy, live and let live approach, etc.) The world I'm in and the world i want to be in are 2 different worlds. Perhaps being 17 has something to do with it. i'm at that age where the identity crisis is at it's peak and i can see that. But i just get so down when i start to think about my future. With things the way things are now, i can't do anything without money. What i want is to be able to be free to do as i please (without harming anyone). To be able to travel and meet people. To be able to relax at the beach if i feel like it. To just have fun. Yet i can't do that in our current world without money.
I try to have fun with the little things in life, yet it's so hard when the world is so messed up. If I try to forget about what's going on in the world, and have a good time, i feel like i'm turning a blind eye to the world and feel guilty. If i mess up, i beat myself up and feel guilt for a while. With OCD, i get random thoughts sometimes, like unwanted, crude and disgusting thoughts. It's a dark side. I feel like such a bad person because i have these thoughts.
I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but i'm just so tired and worn out of everything. I'm posting this here because I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice. I don't think I'm mentally unstable, I'm just really depressed over how our world is. The nature of my depression is that of a more complex and philosophical nature, which is why i thought ATS would be a good place to post this.edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)
the American Dream is a fairytale
Originally posted by SpaceJ
Also, I wanted to add that I personally believe (from my own experiences) that you can't really conquer the OCD until you have conquered the depression. Being depressed or anxious is like feeding fuel to the OCD fire. You gotta knock the problems out one by one and not over exert yourself in the process.
There's no magic button to press to make it all go away, but as someone who lived with OCD for 10 years, I'm happy to tell you it IS possible for those thoughts to completely go away. There is a light at the end of that tunnel. If someone would have told me that 5 years ago I would have told them to go F off. But maybe coming from someone with similar issues it will mean a little more to you.
Music has also helped a lot as far as OCD goes. I used to have my headphones on at all times when I wasn't otherwise distracted, that way my minds already occupied by the music instead of being free to roam into compulsion land.edit on 12/2/2010 by SpaceJ because: spelling oops
Originally posted by Misoir
reply to post by mossme89
I am only one year older than you, 18, and still trapped inside the cage that is our current reality. I can definitely relate to you as I have GAD and OCD. I am an extreme introvert and always happiest when I am alone to pander my own thoughts.
I still have yet to decide exactly what I want to do with my future however philosophy is the branch of thought that I do prefer. It permits me to express my thoughts on myself, humanity, morals, and politics, among other things. Since writing is my expertise this assists me in the current path I have decided to embark upon.
It is not that I hate my life, as being an opportunist and some say a dreamer it has permitted me to see that “things are better on the other side” even though every day of your life that other side is being drawn further and further away from you. I have yet to lose sight of it though and I refuse to allow myself to get that far.
The current world that is forced upon you and I is not one either of us enjoy or feel any sort of belonging too. It is a world of detachment, materialism, false hope, lies, and expectations that neither of us feel we want to meet. Yes I believe college is important and once I am finished with it I do not have any plans of moving to ‘the city’ and getting some conventional job wasting my energy on others when I could use that energy to fulfill what I want to do.
Having a small dwelling in the countryside left alone to pander my thoughts whilst gazing at the street lights of eternity under a clear sky, that is where I feel a connection and sense of living. That is what I want to do. I do not know what your dreams or expectations are but humbleness is mine.edit on 12/2/2010 by Misoir because: (no reason given)
We need people who want to do things outside of the box,