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I hate my life

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XL5

posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:53 PM
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Hmm, before today I thought I only had a tiny bit of aspergers, now I find I might have a tiny bit of ocd and a bigger lump of GAD. When I find I'm about to check something twice, I stop and think about how much it really matters. Lights, sheets, tv and stuff like that don't matter too much, the door lock gets checked twice and thats about it. I caught my self ocd'ing on silly things a wihle ago (never happend before) and I just thought that if nothing bad happend before, it won't now.

Just try to leave things the way they are (except for the stove and locks) for 1-2 days to dispell some fear. If you feel the need to flick a light switch on/off or something else that you can see if its on/off, try to just look at it for a while and not touch it, there is no hurry.

I also feel this world could be much better. It seems like people love the excuse "Life's no fair" to do you wrong, have no compassion, understanding and most importantly, no guilt. They use fear to control. Alot of problems in this world are caused by the fear of lack of money and an unrealised case of OCD.

Sometimes I hope the reset button is pressed, lets just hope what ever god does it, doesn't have OCD.

Also: www.youtube.com...
edit on 2-12-2010 by XL5 because: youtube




posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 06:19 PM
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reply to post by Cosmic.Artifact
 


No really, like i would not want to kill someone, ever. especially kids in a school or something like that. thats just messed up and i'm not that messed up.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 06:32 PM
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I understand how you feel, I felt that way at 18 aswell. Now 12 years later, if anything its gotten worse. The only thing that you should seek comfort in, is knowing that you know what only 1% of the population knows- and that gives you an advantage. You can see all the cracks, before the bridge collapses. You will be prepared for worst case scenarios. And while the fantasy life we invisioned for ourselves as children, will never ever happen. Knowing how messed up the world is, will help you prioritize your gifts and talents to the best usage on this planet. Know that you know how corrupt everything is, maybe instead of becoming an accountant- become a nurse and take care of people for a living. Giving back is really the only way to be comfortable in this world imo. Unfortunately college is a waste of time, but a necessary evil. Now that you realize what the world is at a young age, you can make important decisions for your future- with better clarity. Best of luck



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 06:46 PM
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Originally posted by mossme89
reply to post by Cosmic.Artifact
 


No really, like i would not want to kill someone, ever. especially kids in a school or something like that. thats just messed up and i'm not that messed up.


of course not, you have to believe in life first in order to live it, specially the way you want to live in it... There is no secret but the best we have come to understanding this life/light is reflected in the Bible for the language of your birth... This message is very similar to other philosophies but in all actuality is a heck of alot easier to understand than any other of the rabbit holes you may have been into.

It is very hard to find a person who knows the Word well enough to denounce it, for if they truly understand that Book then the truth is revealed. With alot of other books this is not so and can be reflected by the will and what drives their societies.

edit on 12/2/2010 by Cosmic.Artifact because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 06:59 PM
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Originally posted by Yissachar1
No

You GET to go to school
You GET to feel angst about that.

I have ZERO tollerance for people like you!

Let me tell you straight sunshine;

YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY.

YOU.

YES YOU!

And if you wan't to whine your pathetic existence away until you die then do us all a favour and piss off!

Because there are people out there with less than you who do not GET to go to school and have the time to listen to emo music and even have some angst about it.

You are pathetic and weak. Make excuses for your weaknesses, and am not willing to grow..

Lets call it natural selection.

You learn't about THAT right?

Prove us wrong.
edit on 2-12-2010 by Yissachar1 because: (no reason given)


Dang that was harsh.
But I agree, When I was16 I got my self emancipated I had no mother (died when I was 2) or father (died in Vietnam before I was born) I got me a job working in a mine stacking 100lb bags of gravel 16hrs a day until I got my GED then went in to the army. Any way I stacked bags with a lot of people some could handle it some couldnt. Then one day the company hired a guy I mean a real guy IMHO to stack bags. I told the foreman that you have to be joking he has one hand. Well to make a long story short he lasted longer than most that had 2 hands. So when I see some one that gets depressed or emo over their life and how much it sucked I just think of him and think if they only had a clue.

I now its kind of harsh but your life is what you make it, so if you succeed or fail at life it falls on no ones shoulders but yours.
When life gives you lemons.
edit on 2-12-2010 by hillbilly4rent because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 07:14 PM
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you know it might be off topic but not sure really, I just find myself and alot of people on the site here use the expression "down the rabbit hole" Well when I was growing up in the countryside lifestyle, if a person was easily scared or jumpy (we all know the skittish type) we would say...

"dang you must have a little bit of rabbit in ya"

No Fear !


edit on 12/2/2010 by Cosmic.Artifact because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 07:24 PM
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The worst mistake that I made in my life was not to learn everything that I could when it was presented to me on a silver platter. I still resent the days I felt as if never needed it anyway.

What I would do when I could do it all over again....



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 11:30 PM
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When I was 15 I felt that way. The following semester I enrolled myself in a ceramics class. It was the greatest thing, it just turned my life around. I got good at it. I was mainly into handbuilding slab pots, I threw stuff on the wheel too, but I liked being creative. (Pretty girls would sometimes come in and admire my work.) My art teacher liked my stuff so much that she got me spot in a gallery in a nearby city. It generated some commissions. I was smiling alot more. My home life at the time wasn't all that great, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Get out on my own, be the master of my own destiny. When I turned 18 that's what I did. I lead a fairly simple life today, it has it's ups and downs. It's just great to be alive in this momentous age.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 11:40 PM
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You sound a bit like me. It's relieving that you don't want to kill yourself. In the last couple of years I've learned death isn't something you should ever wish upon yourself, ever.
edit on 2/12/10 by Nventual because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 11:42 PM
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Most men live lives of quiet desperation....i forget who said it but its true to a certain extent....get used to it if you can......
Life sucks a lot of the time for everybody......remember you are never alone....most people have the very same or other thoughts that you do at one time or another.....
What is required is strength of character to meet this situation because it never really goes away.
I too was too open eyed to sit through school.I ended up finishing the project at 25, and was already a father by that time of two boys.Though i have held jobs successfully, i have found that i preferred to work out my own business destiny, and have been an entrerprising guy most of my 65 yrs.
Look for your strengths, and try to determine your weaknesses too....at all ages it is well to discover as much about yourself as possible.
What you believe and take for granted now, will inevitably change over the next years, so dont get too damn serious about yourself, all things change with time to some extent, and what you think may be failure now, you may deem a fortunate circumstance later and vice versa.
What one has to concentrate on at your age is to not get too intense about it all, though being passionate about stuff is a sign one should self examine those passions and persue those you deem to be worth the hassle and work involved.
Do not be afraid to excell at anything should it strike you as worth the effort.
But never expect you will always feel the same about anything.
My advice is to try to find within yourself things that will sustain you over the long haul......
GOOD LUCK and GOOD HUNTING



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 11:47 PM
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well revenge is a dish best served cold i always say. place yourself in a position of power and revenge yourself on your oppressors.....become the president

change the world, dont let them win, fight the good fight my brother and never take no for an answer.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 11:49 PM
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After reading this original post and the following comments I feel two things. I empathize with you .....then I feel like I have been played. The emotions expressed by the Op are not those of a teenager. Then I looked at the registration of the Op on this site and I feel it is just an unhappy man posting his lamenting of a past lost. I applaud the intent of the post, but I feel that whomever posted this is a troll....Just my opinion....sorry to offend the beleivers.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 11:59 PM
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reply to post by CitizenOfEarth
 


it's all good, we love those trolls too


better than commies !



posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 12:04 AM
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O.P you sound like you have a very strong humanitarian streak that doesn't have an outlet to grow and develop.
I'm sure there are plenty of volunteer jobs where you can share yourself and be around people who need people like you around.
I know if your tired and depressed, that volunteer work probably sounds like just one more thing to sap your strength, but really, its quite the opposite, you get so much back from those you are helping. It actually can lighten your load and also help you get back to enjoying the simple things that feed the soul.
It can be as little as an hour a month. Basically whatever amount of your time you can freely give.

Hope things look up for you soon and you find a custom fit solution for yourself.



posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 12:21 AM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


Holy cow, you sound a lot like my son. He is a senior and is not taking his grades seriously at all. I am worried that he may not get to graduate.
I have noticed that so many of your generation have this same attitude.



posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 12:27 AM
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Believe me I know how you feel cause I felt the same way. The older you get the better life gets. I don't get depressed about my problems. I wake up every day and think how lucky I am to have a roof over my ., indoor plumbing, nice clothes and hot meals. Society is messed up but you can't save the whole world. You have obstacles in your life that prevent you from doing what you really want. Focus on getting around them. As soon as you turn 18, don't . straight for college. Take a year off to decide what you want out of life. Get a job. Move out and rent. Go on a road trip and meet new people. Get a new perspective on life. Change your routine.

When I was your age, feeling really down, someone a lot older said to me, "17-25 is that age where you feel like you're having a crisis. Your friends are going somewhere in life while you feel as if you're going nowhere. And to make things worse you feel completely lonely. I hated that time of my life."



posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 12:48 AM
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State education is controlled by the Government to produce a variety of slaves and money is the dominating factor which controls everybody's lives and denies giving access to the natural resources and people that we are entitled to we have been robbed and we are being swindled let it right and centre politicians are just playing around with simple ideas and money their only accountants housekeepers.

People have delusions that they are collectively represented properly as if they own some thing pay taxes actually the average person owns nothing because 10 per cent of the people in England own 90 percent of all the wealth and the land this is what we have inherited the British constitution is very much to do going back to William the Conqueror and the Magna Carter the government counts us up as sheep and we are all basically slaves to the monarchy.

The government is fundamentally puppets of the bankers those that control the supply of money and its distribution without money you don't have a life you cannot function properly you don't have any time to your self or have other people to co-operate with we must all fight back and educate ourselves with common sense.

Get organised to use psychological warfare and financial warfare on those who keeps us prisoner if we all come to a natural consensus that surrendering to the system is a waste of time if we use our time and energy and money we do not have to conform to the monetary dictatorship agenda.

Money is being used as a weapon and locks and chains we have to figure out a way of reversing this so by using keys and money as consumers or as campaigners to revolt

We must organise and hit the greedy rich and the manipulators that have money to use their position
to continually reinforced exploitation by using the media and political propaganda to brainwash us the education system is part of that it's just more subtle being more obedient is more important to governments and educators.



posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 01:03 AM
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You are very intelligent and seem to want to help the world in some way. You need to fuel that depression into Power to help others. I don't know what your mission in life is, but you'll get there. Think about what you can do to help.



posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 03:37 AM
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Just look at it this way, you are alive. Whether or not you have a 9-5, an awesome career or bummin' it, you are alive. Only you can be alive for yourself, the same way no one can live anybody else's life or for them. Just set yourself some good morals and treat people right no matter how they treat you. Never hold a grudge and forgive, but always learn a lesson. Only you know where you are going in life. Trust your instincts, focus on the task at hand, and have an open your mind.
I wish somebody would have given me this advice a long time ago. What you are thinking is normal beleive it or not. I bet there is not one human being who hasn't had the same thoughts as you. As far as the O.C.D goes, everybody has some type of it. I always had to have everything even to my left and right, down to what was in my pockets. If my right foot scraped the ground while walking so I made my left foot scrape the ground by walking. It got crazy and I was having thoughts just like you. One day I thought "I'm not going to die if I dont have everything even." "I'm not going to die if this or that doesn't turn out the way I want." Living is learning. I would have never thought about the world the way I do now when I was your age.

Drink Water and Drive On!



posted on Dec, 3 2010 @ 03:39 AM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


I feel the same way about the 9-5 job thing. As humans we weren't meant to sit around indoors on computers all day. Or be glued to TV's and cell phones. I'm not blaming technology per say, just saying that we were meant to be outdoors and in nature more...maybe farmers or something. I say do your own thing. Don't buy into the norm of society, march to the beat of your own drummer and you'll find happiness in that. If you do what everyone else wants then you'll make them happy, but what about yourself?

I for one can stand the way our school system is set up. And that it's social unacceptable to not go to college. I dropped out a year ago and since then I have learned way more by doing my own research and learning things that im actually interested in than i EVER have in school or memorizing things in a textbook. Not to mention with politics in school it seems most teachers are democrats and tend to put a progressive spin on everything. Makes me sick to know my children are going to be learning our history with that bias one day.

Also since being away from the college party scene I've reconnected with my personal savior and I have found more happiness and purpose in life than I've ever had before.

Im sorry you're feeling depressed about our world, I think things will change, and things are changing like Obama's slogan promised haha however it won't be for the better. Things are getting worse and worse and our world is starting to lean towards a one world government. That will be the end of individualism. So my advice- get to know God, and maybe start reading the Bible or something. Maybe you will find true happiness there?




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