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I hate my life

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posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:19 PM
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reply to post by LeoVirgo
 


I agree that the best way to go now is to buy some land and learn some 'forgotten' skills on living off it. In fact, that's my plan...but even that has bit of bitterness....considering for all your work, you still won't own the land you live on or anything you else you buy for that matter. Which just makes everything that much more pointless. And I'm totally in your shoes with feeling like an observer....all I hear is "did anyone catch that show last night?" or, "oooh I just bought a new burbury bag..." talk about living in the 'Matrix'




posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:20 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


Exercise does help a lot. Breathing exercises can help in some situations but I mostly thought they were BS. What I did, however, find helpful was yoga and it's breathing patterns. But if you are a guy you probably wouldn't be interested in yoga, lol. Just sayin. Works for me. If running works for you, then run. If you can keep a schedule and you enjoy running, I'd say run every night or every morning. Make it a routine. Try to fill the slots of time where you'd be playing with those drawers by running instead.

I used to count my steps, and I'd have to walk a certain way on any tiled floor. It was horrible. I was a slave to my brain, and my brain was like a skipping CD. I also used to have to turn light switches and door knobs over and over. Check the stove, check the locks, check, check, check. Or I would be walking through the house and see an item that wasn't straight or wasn't placed in such a way that it had the "right" symmetry, so I'd have to move the way the item was placed in order to negate the bad thought. If I didn't do these things I thought something bad would happen, usually in relation to loved ones dying or something of that nature. My brain was afraid of being alone and so it made me do all of these things to reassure myself that no one would die or abandon me. Definitely not nice thoughts. Even worse when you think flipping a switch 7 times is going to prevent it from happening.

So for anyone who doesn't understand OCD, it's definitely not the best way to start your day or end it, to say the least. But here's a video that I think describes the compulsion thing pretty well (it's also really funny, imo).




posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:20 PM
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reply to post by LeoVirgo
 





Look at the world today....everyone is one way or another depressed or has anxiety or some label for their issues. But what did people do hundreds of years ago with all of these issues


Life aint easy, we laugh we cry, I think people think we are all supposed to be happy twenty four seven.

I gotta cook supper,
edit on 043131p://bThursday2010 by Stormdancer777 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:23 PM
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Originally posted by amc621
reply to post by mossme89
 


Buddy, let me tell you something. ENJOY what you are doing right now. I felt THE EXACT same way about sitting in a class room that I didn't think there was going to be anyhting I would use the rest of my life.

What you can do is watch people interact, watch how the teacher tries (or doesn't try) to get his message across. If you can't stand the class, try to learn about the people around you, it will go a long way in life.

Believe me your life is NO WAY as bad as you think. No one will ever be able to convince you (no one convinced me), but I wish I could go back to those days now knowing what I know now.


I'm curious, could you elaborate? I'm not quite seeing what you're saying.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:27 PM
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Hi mossme89

I am sorry to say that things will only get worse with age. Working a 9 to 5, having to pay bills and being responsible for other people really sucks. I feel the same way you do, I wish an asteroid or a plane would smash into my house and kill me and my whole family, I am looking forward to the end of this stupid life on this world of lies. I will not kill myself, because i am not sure of the consequences, but i really just wish I was never born.
I am 37 and when I was your age I felt the same way as I do now, back then i would distract myself with partying, smoking, drinking, and doing drugs, the only thing that did was make my situation worse, and ruined my potential. These days I distract myself with techie stuff like computers and electronics, playing video games, reading Sci Fi books, smoking a lot of cigarettes, drinking occasionally, and reading stuff on the internet (especially this site), this website makes me more depressed, but I still come hear hoping to read the world will end in a week (from a reliable source). I have always been a depressed person, even when I was a kid, and I do not want to take medication to try to correct it, if I cant change on my own, then I don't want change, Is it really me that is messed up or is it this world, I believe this world is a prison, and all the drama that happens is just meant to distract us from realizing we are in a prison. I am not married and don't have or want kids, I will not bring a child into this f*cked up world. I am a bit lonely from time to time, but I mostly just want to be left alone, and don't want people bothering me, I am a hermit.

I would not want to reverse time an be 17 again, and have to go threw all the crap again, but If I was 17 again. I would work out more, get into some type of sport, ask the girls out that I was afraid to back then, be nicer to my parents (i really put them threw hell and after my dad died it was guilt city), have more fun (safe fun), have more sex with the high school girls (safe sex).

I wish I could give you some helpful advice, but If I knew what to tell you, I probably would not be on this site right now, I would be out traveling the world and enjoying life.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:30 PM
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reply to post by Stormdancer777
 


Well yeah that is what I meant. I just don't like the term welcome to adulthood for some reason it rubs me the wrong way. I just see that as something that parents say when they are trying to encourage their kids to just "do what they do" or "we all have to deal with these things". My point was when most people say that phrase, it's kind of like, "hey everyone has those problems, why should you be any different." I was trying to highlight the importance of work and school, but by saying to make it what you want. Like, don't just take what everyone else says to do at face value. I too am an artist and a photographer, and a lot of people tried to talk me out of that career path because of my high grades I was told art school was a cop out or a joke. But I followed my heart and my passions, and found a job that allows me too to work at home. I also have panic attacks (and I'm autistic which is a whole nother can of worms) but the panic and sensory issues really prevent me from being able to function in your standard 9-5 job type deal.

Working from home, best. thing. ever.

Wasn't trying to offend anyone by saying I didn't like the phrase, just saying it's something you usually hear from people who want to try to brush off your problems.

(To the other poster below this post I'm replying to) Years ago when people had anxiety or depression or OCD, they were thrown into loony bins to rot. So, I don't see what the point was there? I'm not saying people shouldn't have a work ethic, I'm saying there are different paths to get from A to B than working a 9-5 job. It isn't for everyone. There's plenty of ways around the 9-5 issue.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:33 PM
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I have gone through some of the same feelings in life and trust me, discouraging yourself from what life can give you, is not the answer. I know that right now it seems that no matter what you do is 'useless' because no-one has or tries to have the common sense we all need to realize how messed up this world is. One thing you have that a lot of your friends/colleagues don't have is the fact that you already KNOW that this world is corrupted.

The only thing I can say to you is that don't give up on life. LIFE gives everyone an equal opportunity to excel in this miserable world, it is up to US to see that, and educate people on the negative things everyone concentrates on. I feel it is our journey to awaken people to feel and see what you see, but if you give up on those basic principles for yourself, how can you expect to change the world|people?

Hang in there, think positive no matter how challenging life turns out to be. Help others by helping yourself so that you can start making a difference in this world. BE A LEADER and NOT a FOLLOWER, lead those around you so that you realize that your knowledge is what is making this world a better place.

Every morning when you get up and go to school, say to yourself that TODAY you will make a difference in your life and in others. Don't get discouraged if someone don't listen to you or don't follow you, all it means is that THEY are not ready for change but YOU ARE.

Don't let that light you are seeing right now, diminish to full darkness. Keep that torch going and pass it around.

Be safe and take care!



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:37 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


there are two kinds of dogs in this world

those who wear a collar and leash just so they are garanteed a meal or two a day from a master

and those that roam free at the expense of holding their own weight to survive

take responsibility and realise that your choices allow you to remain in the system or to escape it/live outside it. i know that is a tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:46 PM
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reply to post by TheEnlightenedOne
 


Well said. That even made me feel better
thanks.

I think what you just said is exactly right. Even if there are aspects of this life, and our society, that seem lost in our eyes...it doesn't mean there isn't still beauty in the world. And just a little of that "beauty" (define it as you will) is worth so much more than all of that darkness put together. You can make a difference in the world just by having a positive outlook in the right way, it can be contagious like laughter. That's so important, to have people who can stare right through all the BS and still be positive. Forget ignorance is bliss, or stuff like happy people are naive...you can be perfectly aware of the state of everything and still be positive at the same time, it's possible. Anyway, I tend to believe in karma (the whole 'if one sows goodness, one will reap goodness" thing) and even if it isn't real, it doesn't hurt to live that way.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:47 PM
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No

You GET to go to school
You GET to feel angst about that.

I have ZERO tollerance for people like you!

Let me tell you straight sunshine;

YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY.

YOU.

YES YOU!

And if you wan't to whine your pathetic existence away until you die then do us all a favour and piss off!

Because there are people out there with less than you who do not GET to go to school and have the time to listen to emo music and even have some angst about it.

You are pathetic and weak. Make excuses for your weaknesses, and am not willing to grow..

Lets call it natural selection.

You learn't about THAT right?

Prove us wrong.
edit on 2-12-2010 by Yissachar1 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 04:56 PM
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Originally posted by mossme89

Originally posted by Pentothal
ideal != observation = unhappy.

Pay attention to how you think for the next hour. Try not to drift into your thoughts and daydreams. Try to stay at the edge of your perceptions (listen to every sound, feel every little sensation on the surface of your body).

You may last less than a minute. You may drift into the mind made narrative. Simply bring yourself back to the cutting edge of awareness and try again.

After an hour of this, try and calculate the percentage of your life you spend in your mind made reality rather than awake. It shocked me greatly. I have been walking in a dreamworld most of my life. I can now see that almost everyone is on autopilot.

Be aware and observe where you are as intensely as possible. Do not judge what happens. Just observe and act consciously. Unhappiness is when your demands are not met. When things do not happen the way you want them to. Do not make the demands and one can not be made unhappy when they are not met. Awake and pure observation.


You definitely have a point. I know i spend a ton of time in my head, but my biggest issue is how do i get out of my head and into what's going on? My mind just seems to have a tendency to wander. It always has.


When you become aware that you have been living in your inner dream, you have already broke free. Most people do not even know there is another 'awakened' state and simply live in their dreams, making judgements all the time. Keep bringing yourself as close as possible to what is happening. You will be amazed with what happens. Observe and stay awake. Notice how your mind tries to lure you back into the daydreaming state. Making promises that can not be kept. Sowing seeds of unhappiness. Sit and observe now. There is no 'time', no 'tomorrow'. There is and always has been just now.

Wait a second.... see.... it is still now. It will always be 'now'.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:02 PM
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reply to post by SpaceJ
 


Yeah, it's like you think something bad would happen. For me, i have that and i also have the feeling that if i don't set things up a certain way (i.e. checking bed repeatedly to make sure sheets wouldn't come off), than something else inconvenient would happen (not that repeatedly checking stopped it, like you said).

That video made me LOL. It's so accurate. It's like a little voice that just gets louder. Though with enough concentration, that's an understatement, with a TON of concentration and other distractions, you can tune it out. Sometimes.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:03 PM
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Someone has said "Smoke some funny stuff and you will forget all about it"...
edit on 2-12-2010 by thecinic because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:08 PM
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reply to post by mossme89
 


I think you should see someone professional. If I read this I get afraid that you either do something to yourself or one day do some crazy act to hurt other people like take a gun to school or something like that. If at this ago you already feel worn out and look at the world like this, you should seek help immediately! Sorry this is my opinion.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:08 PM
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Originally posted by mossme89
I'm so sick of going to school and learning about things that other people deem important, being indoctrinated. I only do it because i feel like i have to in order to do anything in society. Nowadays, you can't get a good job without a college degree. I'm still in HS btw. Plus, being in school gets me around people, which is really one of my only pleasures, socializing. But secretly, i resent the bureaucrats and elite who make me do this. Why should i have to learn Spanish to graduate? I feel helpless and powerless against this machine we call the system.

I think every day of why i'm this way. Why i'm able to see how messed up society is, and why i just can't seem to buy into a 9-5 job and schooling. Why i resent authority. Why I'm OCD and have a temper. Why I'm a bit of a loner, introvert yet am happiest around people (a bit of a paradox).

I'm rooting for the whole 2012 thing because frankly i can't stand it anymore. But the rational part of me tells me that nothing will really change. I don't know what will happen.

I keep trying to envision a society that i would like to be in, but think of a logical way to get from here to there (open, free society, abundant resources, free energy, live and let live approach, etc.) The world I'm in and the world i want to be in are 2 different worlds. Perhaps being 17 has something to do with it. i'm at that age where the identity crisis is at it's peak and i can see that. But i just get so down when i start to think about my future. With things the way things are now, i can't do anything without money. What i want is to be able to be free to do as i please (without harming anyone). To be able to travel and meet people. To be able to relax at the beach if i feel like it. To just have fun. Yet i can't do that in our current world without money.

I try to have fun with the little things in life, yet it's so hard when the world is so messed up. If I try to forget about what's going on in the world, and have a good time, i feel like i'm turning a blind eye to the world and feel guilty. If i mess up, i beat myself up and feel guilt for a while. With OCD, i get random thoughts sometimes, like unwanted, crude and disgusting thoughts. It's a dark side. I feel like such a bad person because i have these thoughts.

I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but i'm just so tired and worn out of everything. I'm posting this here because I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice. I don't think I'm mentally unstable, I'm just really depressed over how our world is. The nature of my depression is that of a more complex and philosophical nature, which is why i thought ATS would be a good place to post this.


John 1

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2The same was in the beginning with God.

3All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

4In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

6There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.

7The same came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all men through him might believe.

8He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light.

9That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.

10He was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him not.

11He came unto his own, and his own received him not.



see you must be life...



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:08 PM
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Mate I'm with you on the 2worlds thing. For ahges now if had a vision in my head of what I would want the world to be like and when I think of the world in my head and the world we live in today it depresses me. If you want anything it seems like we have to do 12hours (in my case I do about 16) a day to earn decent money and then when to get home your to tired to do anything. I'm fed up of it I come on this site hoping to see something that will change the world but to me it looks like it's never going to happen.

I know what your feeling pal



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:09 PM
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Mate I'm with you on the 2worlds thing. For ahges now if had a vision in my head of what I would want the world to be like and when I think of the world in my head and the world we live in today it depresses me. If you want anything it seems like we have to do 12hours (in my case I do about 16) a day to earn decent money and then when to get home your to tired to do anything. I'm fed up of it I come on this site hoping to see something that will change the world but to me it looks like it's never going to happen.

I know what your feeling pal



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:12 PM
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Originally posted by TheEnlightenedOne
I have gone through some of the same feelings in life and trust me, discouraging yourself from what life can give you, is not the answer. I know that right now it seems that no matter what you do is 'useless' because no-one has or tries to have the common sense we all need to realize how messed up this world is. One thing you have that a lot of your friends/colleagues don't have is the fact that you already KNOW that this world is corrupted.

The only thing I can say to you is that don't give up on life. LIFE gives everyone an equal opportunity to excel in this miserable world, it is up to US to see that, and educate people on the negative things everyone concentrates on. I feel it is our journey to awaken people to feel and see what you see, but if you give up on those basic principles for yourself, how can you expect to change the world|people?

Hang in there, think positive no matter how challenging life turns out to be. Help others by helping yourself so that you can start making a difference in this world. BE A LEADER and NOT a FOLLOWER, lead those around you so that you realize that your knowledge is what is making this world a better place.

Every morning when you get up and go to school, say to yourself that TODAY you will make a difference in your life and in others. Don't get discouraged if someone don't listen to you or don't follow you, all it means is that THEY are not ready for change but YOU ARE.

Don't let that light you are seeing right now, diminish to full darkness. Keep that torch going and pass it around.

Be safe and take care!


That was really inspiring. Thank you
It brightened up my day.
edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:13 PM
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Originally posted by rai76
reply to post by mossme89
 


I think you should see someone professional. If I read this I get afraid that you either do something to yourself or one day do some crazy act to hurt other people like take a gun to school or something like that. If at this ago you already feel worn out and look at the world like this, you should seek help immediately! Sorry this is my opinion.


Trust me, that's definitely NOT on my to-do list. I'm serious about that. Not gonna happen.



posted on Dec, 2 2010 @ 05:27 PM
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Originally posted by mossme89

Originally posted by rai76
reply to post by mossme89
 


I think you should see someone professional. If I read this I get afraid that you either do something to yourself or one day do some crazy act to hurt other people like take a gun to school or something like that. If at this ago you already feel worn out and look at the world like this, you should seek help immediately! Sorry this is my opinion.


Trust me, that's definitely NOT on my to-do list. I'm serious about that. Not gonna happen.


blah ha, that is the response of a total liberal... Don't worry buddy about that professional thing lolz your peers are here and we know you.

it's a most insulting comment to make eh ?





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