The Price of being Awaken!

Lots of people are waking up now, very slowly....they understand whats right and whats wrong but they are scared to omit it from their lifestyle. Such as the TV for example, they may know the effects but they will never stop watching. Just like someone would know the effects of smoking and never quit, so have they truly woken up?

In my experiences, the people who i found to be truly awake seemed to be in depression. They had nothing to lose but everything to gain and small things like mainstream music, TV, newspapers, social sites etc...did not appeal to them. I found this striking since the depressed individuals would not socialize often, therefore they did not have to impress their colleagues and contribute to the 'Twilight' chitter chatter of the sleeping sheep.

I also discovered that people realize that our governments are screwing us over, but they still vote? doesn't make sense to me. They know about the NWO and the depopulation programs but do nothing to stop it or spread the message. All i get is...."If its Gods will, there is nothing we can do about it", now it really pisses me off when they act helpless. My family is asleep, iv tried to wake them up since i was 14...I'm in my early 20's now and I'm frustrated. To them ignorance is bliss....my smaller brother 11, seems to vibrate at the same frequency as me. I had over 500 friends and to be honest, only 3 of them were in the same mind state and truly awake (so i have 3 friends now). My girlfriend is waking up....the catch is the more she wakes up the more depressed she gets.

I've been severely depressed ever since i woke up and it just gets worse every day. I see my closest friends and family selling themselves out willingly and I'm sure many of you out there know how painful this is. I do not see any future for myself, I never see myself getting a family of my own or working for a large cooperation (Basically money means little to me). I've also sidelined my dreams as a musician something i worked hard on since i was 14 but released little to the public (I always had a feeling i wasn't doing the right thing and kept canceling and postponing projects). I quit Being a Mixed Martial Arts fighter, because i do not want to be merely a tool of entertainment and satisfy the viewers need for blood. I rarely drink but I'm a heavy smoker (Ignorance of course lol), rarely watched TV over the last 6 years, never listen to dumbed down music. My respect for a large majority of my elders appears to have gone.

I do not sleep well, seem to have lost my appetite and have that constant heavy feeling in my stomach (A sort of nervous feeling). I feel like something will happen soon that will truly wake everyone up but by then it would be too late. I'm not a believer in the 2012 'end of the world' conspiracy but believe this will be the great awakening. I am so frustrated about talking to 'zombies' that i would rather not discuss any of this with anyone who is not awake....and it would simply make me look crazy!

I'm just wondering how your lives have changed since you woke up?

Peace and Love,
Serizawa the Beast.

You are not yet awake. If you were, you would not say you were. Keep opening those eyes my friend, you will see soon. We all will.

reply to post by gandhi


You are right although being 'awake' to me does not mean i know the truth, but i am simply searching for it. I know not much but the little i do has made me more aware then the average human being. Thanks.

I know how you feel. I am older than you, but have been in an aware state since I was a child. Depression, definitely follows awareness.

I dealt with similar problems with friends and family. The best advice I can give, is that you learn everything you can, don't ever take things offered by others at face value, always research the facts of any situation, enjoy the true beauty of life (which you can still see, even if you are aware). Do the things you enjoy for yourself first and those you care about second. Most of all, value those very few people in whom you recognize like mindedness. They can help you maintain your grounding, and ease the depression.

The awakening that is coming for everyone won't be able to be missed. Some will not awake in time to make a difference one way or another, but those who have been awake for a while will be better able to deal with circumstances. IMHO.

reply to post by Serizawa


I think it's great that you poured your heart out into a post like that.

Honestly I didn't give up any of my old friends. I still hang with them and love it. They are not stupid, they just look at things differently from me. We really need to get off this idea that those who don't see our point of view are not worth being around.

You mentioned depression and lack of sleep... There are hopefully alot of things you can do to remedy that. Usually if you cant sleep it's beacuse you are trying to do too much. So just stop trying to do things and if it's really important to you, you will stop for a little while. If you can really stop (trust me you have enough wrinkles in your brain and you've worried for long enough) it will be a wonderful experience.

I don't know if you have a ton of responsibilities or a distracting home life. If you do then maybe try to go for walks or something. But I'd also suggest getting some of those old friends back. Having a good time is not evil. Plus it will keep you more in touch with things. Whether that's to be a comparison or simply just more in touch with that "asleep" side of life. You can't really know how to be awake unless you know what it is to be asleep. Don't be so quick to discount the value of those friends, I have at times and I've always been wrong.

reply to post by Serizawa


There is no price to being awake, especially if you're metaphysically oriented and actually pour out your heart mind and soul concerning the state of the planet to your Family of Light and the benevolent Higher Ups in the cosmos. There is no reason to be depressed, you now have more knowledge of what you don't want, and don't want to see others subjected to. Turning this around peacefully and in love is something you can start to do, but you need to go inside yourself, your own soul, and meditate, and I recommend sungazing safely too. Connecting within to your heart and soul, your Higher Self. This is a school and the managers are running a sleazy ruthless pyramid scheme, all the while thinking they're Gods, and off the hook and we're all the ones being tested. They have puppet handlers, higher up negatives who are still very low level. They're all not off the hook and this whole cosmos is a holoraphic school to learn love and equality in.

So the metaphysical tools are very positive. Any time you have a negative thought, turn it around and find a positive. If you feel ill, affirm and state you are filled with radiant health and energy and you're doing the work you came to do, connected to your Higher Self more and more each day.

See the world you wish, dream it, think it, speak it. And also, speak up against injustice.

I was a lot more depressed asleep at the wheel with the news depicting the hellzone we live in but no solutions, or progression, than what has happened the past 2 1/2 years.

S & F. thanks for sharing this Serizawa

Originally posted by Serizawa

I do not sleep well, seem to have lost my appetite and have that constant heavy feeling in my stomach (A sort of nervous feeling). I feel like something will happen soon that will truly wake everyone up but by then it would be too late. I'm not a believer in the 2012 'end of the world' conspiracy but believe this will be the great awakening. I am so frustrated about talking to 'zombies' that i would rather not discuss any of this with anyone who is not awake....and it would simply make me look crazy!

I'm just wondering how your lives have changed since you woke up?

Peace and Love,
Serizawa the Beast.

i would say it is a process. something internally may have discovered a purpose or reason for something. your first sentence above in the quote i can relate to. look crazy. embrace crazy. have fun with crazy. have crazy fun. it's better than crazy having fun with you. perhaps everyone will eventually go crazy for something. what are you willing to go crazy for or go crazy over? sometimes just knowing the answer to the question above is the antidote, the cure for the crazies.

what are you willing to go crazy for?
what are you willing to go crazy over?

is having the answer to the above questions really worth knowing crazy for? or are we crazy for asking them? ....

thanks again for sharing.

sleep and eat.

-et

edits to fix grammar, and a typo
[edit on 6-9-2010 by Crazy Esoteric Teacher]
[edit on 6-9-2010 by Sane Esoteric Teacher]
[edit on 6-9-2010 by Insane Esoteric Teacher]
[edit on 6-9-2010 by the Esoteric Teacher who sleeps & eats well]



[edit on 6-9-2010 by Esoteric Teacher]

OP, thank you for sharing some of your most intimate thoughts. It takes courage to lay it all out like that. Don't despair though. To me being awake is to realize after searching for so long for some great "truth" that there is none. And that I KNOW nothing. And with this comes a peace within my mind to make the best of things in my little corner of the universe. To me, your awakening sounds like you have been told one thing your whole life and suddenly realize you've been lied to all along. Sucks doesn't it? But you have to make the decision to make the best of it because nobody is going to do it for you. I have faith that you'll figure it out. Good luck to you

reply to post by Serizawa


When I first 'woke up', I went into mourning for several weeks. Mourning over what I thought was real, like a death. After that I took action to find out everything else I didn't know.

Sometimes you just have to step away and regroup. You can't stay in that mode 24/7 or you will be depressed. Most of us are surrounded by people that are clueless and want to remain that way. Be greatful you have some people that are beginning to see what you see. Any number is better than 1.

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


I already do crazy all the time (*). Few understand or approve. Makes no difference though; I'll keep on keeping on. It will increase in severity as time passes.






(*) The simulation may be far too convining at times.

[edit on 9/6/2010 by EnlightenUp]

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


I know exactly what you mean, and what I'm willing to go crazy for might be worth it after all.


Everyone else thank you for your contributions to this thread as it is always interesting to see how you feel.

reply to post by sindeestarr


If you do not express yourself fully, you can never expect to be fully understood!....

There are times when I feel completely aware of everything.And that awareness is painful.I cannot wish it to my enemy.
Because being awake is just like being aware.You understand that life does not contain much,there is no big win in the end.We're all just puppets of feelings and emotions.But in my opinion people should not suffer (yet another feeling) so being happy in this world is at least better than being sad.Im waiting for the world to change..

reply to post by Serizawa


this is what guilt is to me:

guilt is when choices must be made prior to all options that are available being known.

guilt is when a decision has been made because of perceived necessity, but before all options that existed were known to have been available at the time.

guilt is after hindsight, having had to have made a choice before we knew all availble options.

i believe a part of your subconscious hides a secret or two about something, and doesn't know how to share it with your conscious mind.

i hope this helps with sleeping and appitite:

keep a journal, or diary. when you write in it, write knowing that no one else shall ever read it. when you write in it, write with the intentions that no one is or ever shall read those words. we seldom treat everyone the same way, everyone has different boundries, different individual and unique comfort zones. when one writes in their journal, their diary, there is one to impress, no one is or ever shall judge those words. there is no reasons to lie, no one's boundries or comfort zones to worry about offending. this way, it is like defragging your mind, and condensing pre-existing files that may be overlapping the same information.

ask a question you want the answer to. take everything you know about the subject, even speculation, and try your best to apply your imagination and come up with the most logical answers for your inquiry.

take that answer. evaluate it. ask the next logical question. ask yourself why you seek these answers occassionally re-evaluating your own intentionality.

ask a logical question.
seek an answer.
ask the next logical question.
continue the process.

this may help, try it. it's better than losing sleep, buddy.

-et

[edit on 6-9-2010 by Crazy Esoteric Teacher]

[edit on 6-9-2010 by Esoteric Teacher]

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


I don't really think my depression is caused by guilt...But the diary seems brilliant just as many of the other pieces of advice on this forum. I will give it a try although i feel that it may just lead to frustration and a sense of un-accomplishment as i am merely just sitting out the next month before the next stage in my life (which i am dreading). Last night at one point i was actually considering sleeping pills...its funny that as a child i used to argue with my Mother over her constant use of sleeping pills and cigarettes, and now i find myself in the same position.

reply to post by Serizawa


i find the sleeping pills may help sleep. i used them for awhile, but my sleeping just wasn't the same. and my dreams were fewer. maybe it was just me and my system that they did it to. but once in awhile they may help one get back into a regular sleeping pattern if one's sleeping pattern is offset or not regular. just don't take too many of them, please.

as for the guilt, it may be internalized guilt, the guilt may exist at a unconscious or subconscious level. i may be wrong, but i thought i would share those thoughts about guilt because of a few things you mentioned.

i can relate to the symptoms you mentioned, and just thought i would share some things that helped me. again, some of it might help, some may be irrelavent. thought i would share just in case.

i just want to see you be able to sleep and eat well.

-et

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


I suppose it could be linked to the tough decisions I'm making at the moment. Its not a sense of guilt but rather a sense of helplessness. For now I'll stay away from the sleeping pills, only to be taken when necessary. I work out daily and had good nutrition, only started to struggle with the appetite for about 1 1/2 weeks ago.

i can relate to the symptoms you mentioned, and just thought i would share some things that helped me. again, some of it might help, some may be irrelavent. thought i would share just in case.

This reminds of me of Bruce Lee. Don't mind if i share with you some of his quotes.

"A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at."

"Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it."

"As you think, so shall you become."

"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine."

"It's not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential."

"Do not run away; let go. Do not seek, for it will come when least expected."

"I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude."

Originally posted by Serizawa
I do not sleep well, seem to have lost my appetite and have that constant heavy feeling in my stomach (A sort of nervous feeling).

I've had that feeling in my stomach for more then a month now.
I've found that when i meditate it goes away, so you might wanna try that.

In this duality there are two opposing forces, or two opposing ideas, a plus and a minus.
Just the same, we have two opposing emotions, fear and love.
All negative emotions come from fear, and all positive emotions come from love.
This depression/anxiety and stuff that you are feeling is a matter of perception.
You need to look deep inside and find out what are you afraid of.
You can choose how you look at things.

You can get a pretty decent alarm clock for about $9.95.

Obligatory 2nd line.

reply to post by Serizawa


Bruce Lee was a student of many disciplines.

it is amazing when someone realizes that they could be a lethal weapon that true philosophy becomes necessity for one's own sanity. knowing how and being able to cause the kind of harm he could cause, certain truisms must be sought for not only one's own sake, but out of obligations to society, and for the sake of those around them.


[edit on 6-9-2010 by Esoteric Teacher]