Odd public housing rule that makes 3 people share one bedroom

Ok so there is a law saying no unrelated adults can live in the house, but they consider the fiance the foster father so he is allowed.

And there is also a law that says no unrelated adult can use common areas as a bedroom, wouldn't the fiance also be consider the foster father in that situation?
This part truly confuses me.

And if they really want to be married it can be done very cheaply at the courthouse or with a rabbi but no large ceremony. I understand he might be orthodox, but married is married.

reply to post by gluetrap


He is the foster father. They are ok if he shares a bedroom with my friend. It is confusing because it just doesn't make sense as to why they can't have a three bedroom.
They took the classes; all adults living in the household has to go to the classes. They don't care if people are married or unmarried all they care about is the child has their own bedroom and has acess to the common areas of the space.
The concern in foster care is more for the child not the parents.

reply to post by dreamseeker


A child under three really doesn't need his/her own room. People are truly are sympathetic. It not may appear that way in their statements, but they are. But you can't let emotions cloud your judgement. If you're down on your luck, hey, sh*t happens. You just gotta buckle through it.

I was able to pay $900/mo for a 2 bedroom apartment. My fiance didn't work as she was going to school at the time. I made $1500/month back then. That's 60% of my income, just for residence. It can be done with smart saving. I buckled down, read programming books, and studied about 20 hours a week for a months (that's on top of my 50 hr work week, and 15-20 hr/week devoted to my band). I racked up skills and now make much more.

Sounds to me like your friends are spoiled. Not bad people, just spoiled, and they need to get over it. They need to find creative ways of making money. I had a friend in college who made and sold dolls so she could afford a roof and food.

Things are bad now, but they get better if you put in the effort. Whining and complaining about things you don't have control over doesn't do anyone any good. They just need to struggle through it, and get past it. Again, nothing mean, they just need to learn that not everything is good in life. especially if it come from the govt.

[edit on 6/11/2010 by Arcane Demesne]

Is this a violation of his religious rights?? Well who said they have to live together anyway? It's not like the state is forcing these 2 unmarried people to live together. He's still free to not share a bedroom with his girlfriend, he just cant do it on the public's dime.

As far as why the government doesn't build more public housing. There isnt enough money for it. Or it's cheaper for them to do section 8 through private landlords. The other reason is that people have a not in my backyard attitude towards public housing. Like it or not, public housing tends to attract gangs, drugs, and a high crime rate. Go to any major city, and people avoid the projects unless they have a death wish.

Since money is such an issue, maybe she should back out of the adoption for now. There's no way they'll be able to support a family given their current income situation.

yOUR FRIENDS ARE UNGRATEFUL AND SOUND A LITTLE STUCK UP. I can say this because I am poor.

I have been unemployed from my field for 2.5 years. I use to make $80k a year as a civil engineering designer. I do accounting occasionaly for a pool company and twirl signs when I can get work. My wife is a nurse. I live outside sacramento ca. I go door knocking every week whenever we are out, looking for a job, any job....60 hours a week would be a dream. My wife currently works for a staffing company that staffs hopitals with nurses when they are short handed. She works 1-2 days a week on a good week, but can go 2 weeks without any work.

I lost my home that I had paid $80,000 down on the year before. I use to own a 2005 Infinti G35, and a 2006 Nissan Titan, I now drive a 1991 chevy blazer.

We applied for housing assitance 2 years ago and they are still back logged.
Me, my wife, and our 3 kids live with my parents. Plus my brother has been layed off and lives there also. Thats 8 people in a 3 bedrrom house. My dad is also unemployed. We all pool our money together to make rent, and buy food.
Heck, we cant even afford utilites. Air conditioning and heating are a luxury we dont have. We used the heater this winter during a cold month and got an $800 electric bill, now we have payments to pay it back of $150 a month, plus $300 a month just to run the min needed.

I have a bad back, and a messed up elbow, not to mention tinnitus, high blood pressure....list goes on....oh and no insurance. Try twirling a sign in 110 degree temps for 12 hours with a bad back. I do anything I can, dont have the luxury to lick my wounds.

My point is there is nothing special about their situation, there are millions worse off then them. 3 bedrooms for 3 people, get real. They are poor, take what you can get. If we were offered a 1 bedroom and CPS said they wouldnt take out kids we would be in heaven.

One more thing, anyone know of any work in the Sacramento area I would love to hear from you. Its really hard to get even an interview these days. Just thought I would ask.

Tell your friends to be grateful because what they are being offered many arent and would jump on if they were.

If this kid has lived with them since 3 months then why cant it sleep in their room.....do they know how many people are homeless....no on cares about the boyfriends religious views, tell him to go ask his church for money. he should worry about keeping a roof over their head and food on the table.

Not trying to be rude, but the attitude of some people and what they expect, its gross.....go live in tent city for a few weeks and that one bedroom will look like a mansion....

One more example, My sister just got her degree from florida state as a nurse prcationer (basicaly a doctor), her husband is unemployed, he has a kid from a previous marriage, and she is pregnant. They have a 2 bedroom apartment.

Should her tax money be used to give some unemployed couple a better home then she can even afford. Come on....ok...I better bite my tongue...

Silly issue. You do with what you have. That's it. My oldest friend was the 2nd oldest of 5 kids. 4 boys and 1 girl. They could only afford a 3 bedroom house. The parents got one, the girl got another and they put 4 boys(2 sets of bunkbeds) in the largest room.

Boooooo Hoooooo! I remember my grandpa telling me a story about when they came to Canada. Him and his wife and brother all lived in a grainery 14' x 10' It had a cooking stove in it and they slept in a home made bunk bed. Him and his wife on the bottom and his brother on top. They worked the land every day untill they could afford a second grainery that they built from scratch with no power tools. They survived many below -40 degree celcius winters in those graineries untill they could afford to upgrade from there building a small house with 3 bedrooms. One bedroom for two kids and the other two for the adults. They spent about 5 years in those graineries. So forgive me when i tell the OP BOOOOO HOOOOO! Get out and get a JOB! work for your sh*t and build on it from their! If you take government handouts ie(subsidized housing/wellfare/or any other handouts) YOU ARE EMPOWERING THE GOVERNMENT.......not yourself!

reply to post by dreamseeker


Just to support you on legalities.

My daughter's friend is adopting a girl through foster care.

And YES! BY LAW - - the girl must have her own bedroom.

Her and her husband must have a bedroom. And her son must have his own bedroom.

Therefore - BY LAW - they are required to have a 3 bedroom home or apartment.

I know this law is supposed to protect the child. However - when situations like your friends arise - - there needs to be a bending of the rules - - to accommodate. Which is better then a child going back into the system.





[edit on 11-6-2010 by Annee]

I also have to ask, are there no two bedroom available in your area, In my experience they are much cheaper than three bedroom simply because there so many more of them.

Then you can have a bed and a pull out or two twin beds, or a bunk bed or whatever in the bedroom and still not have to sleep together.

I still say one thing that would make a difference here is marriage, you DO NOT have to have a full blown wedding to be married.

And as much as it would suck........ I love my husband more than I can express, but if it came down to keeping my child or living with him, he would be out the door.

Yep - the 3 bedrooms is ridiculous. Religious reasons? Not acceptable.

I do know for a fact that the 2 bedrooms would be mandatory by law. But there has to be some way to work within the system. Acceptable accommodations until permanent can be established. Or something like that.

reply to post by Arcane Demesne


The foster system rules are that the child must have her own room by 2.!

reply to post by intrepid


Silly issue? NOt at all. It isn't a silly issue when they lose their child because they don't have adequete if you had a child you would understand.
I know the foster care rules and my friends both went to classes so they know them as well.
This is not yahoo answers people on here have more depth to them that is why I came on here to find some laws that might back up my friends. Believe me we have done our own research and everything points to my friends being right from the start.

reply to post by theclutch


BROTHER! That is not a government hand out if she still pays $500 per month. Ok then find me a three bedroom apartment in Clay or Platte County,Missouri that is under $600 per month. You can't find it because it does not exist!
Could you afford $900 a month for housing on $1500.
Another thing times have changed. You are being just like this ignorant people on yahoo answers. Once again I expect more from this site. I appreciate those who have the knowledge and compassion. For those of who continue to judge harshly shame on you!

reply to post by gluetrap


No it has nothing to do with the her finace; it is about the child not having her own room. That is the issue. The two can sleep together in the same bed as far as the foster system knows they don't care.
Even if it was just her the child will be taken away if she can't get another bedroom. Every space that is a bedroom must have, a window, a closet or dresser and a door that shuts. There is no and ifs or buts about this; this the rules that the state has put in place.

Then let the boyfriend & girlfriend use the living room as a bedroom & give the foster kid the 1 BR in the house. Problem solved.

reply to post by Annee


I don't really see it as ridculous when another family of three had a 3 bedroom townhouse in public housing.
What is wrong with wanting better for yourself?
They can go back to a two bedroom once they are married.
They aren't even allowed a two bedroom as of yet.

reply to post by dreamseeker


do they have a registered relationship ?

who is her legal guardian ?

where both unemployed and living in a 1 room apartment when the child came in to the picture ?

reply to post by rocketman70433


NO SHE WILL LOSE HER CHILD IF SHE DOES NOT HAVE A SEPERATE BEDROOM WITH A DOOR THAT SHUTS FOR THE CHILD> THE CHILD IS A FOSTER CHILD WHOM THEY ARE LOOKING TO ADOPT!

reply to post by dreamseeker


When many many people all say the same thing, perhaps it is time to sit back and re-think things.

I understand being poor, and hell I would LOVE to have an actual three bedroom home instead of the two and half we have now. I would also love to have another child but we choose not to right now even though we are both gainfully employed because we don't have the space or funds to easily accomodate that. Sometimes life sucks, but you make due with what you have.

There is no god given right to a three bedroom home, or a bedroom per person. If she is serious about keeping her child then she will find a way to make it work.

Also once again, what about a two bedroom, what about going ahead and getting married despite the fact that they can not have an actual wedding right now.

ANd once again, if her boyfriend or fiance or whatever he is had a problem with sharing a bedroom with her and it is putting the custody of her child in jeopardy I would be kicking him to the curb....the child comes first.

[edit on 11-6-2010 by gluetrap]