Odd public housing rule that makes 3 people share one bedroom

reply to post by Hedera Helix


They aren't exploiting the child. That is RIDCULOUS that you say that. They just want her to have her own room. What is wrong with that. They are both her foster parents and they will lose her in a year if they don't get a two bedroom!
Getting married will change nothing because the child will be over the age that the foster care system regards as apporiate to stay in a parent's room. The child has to be of the same gender as the child.
So the finance may have to stay in the retirement/nursing home for a while longer.
It costs money to hire a rabbi and to rent the synagoge. I am sure it even costs money to get a marriage license.

Originally posted by dreamseeker
.
They do not have enough money to get a market rate apartment to accomandate everyone. She never asked for a mansion; she just wanted at least a 3 bedroom apartment that is a far cry from a mansion.

You don't think a 3 bedroom home is a mansion? I'd say in this case it is. Are we really this spoiled?

I'd say she's lucky to get one bedroom. She could have gotten a one room studio or a tent.

At one point in my life - - I moved my daughter - her boyfriend - & their 6 month old baby into my husband's and my one bedroom apartment. It was crowded - but not a problem. They were there for 2 years.

No sympathy from me.

reply to post by tappy


Ok so she should just put her child back into the foster system. Where would my neices be if my sister had handed her childern that she bore over to the state?
Think about it would you just give your kid over to a government agency who could care less about the child? The child is just a libablity to them and they just need to get the child off their hands.
She can't reclaim the child, she made a promise to her friend.
I supppose you are not a parent?
My sister lives on unemployment because she lost her job due to the recession and a pregancy. She didn't just hand her kids over to the state. Good thing she has a husband who has a decent job.
What about the tramua to the child? Pulling this child away from her parents whether or not they have not adopted yet will be very tramuatic.
Please think before you speak. We all go through hard situations this part of life. My friend just told me now that she actually has a job interveiw next week.
My friend is actually crying because she feels some of your comments are too harsh. Sometimes life gives us a different path to follow and we must try our best to come out ahead.

reply to post by Annee


No sympathy. WOW that is just wrong. She needs at least a 2 bedroom so she can keep her child. Foster parenting has certian rules attached to it. IS this the new american or eurperan way JUDGE AND CARE LESS ABOUT OTHER HUMAN BEINGS>
MAKES ME SO SICK. IT makes me ashamed to be a human.
What is wrong with our society. Hopefully all you people who judge will be in a position like this where you may lose your child due not have adequate housing. I am just shaking my head right now.
So far I still do not have any resources on public housing laws. I am sure the lawyer will help out with that one if she decides to pursue legal action to keep her child. Hopefully the foster care system will be flexible until then.
She really needs to talk to her case worker.

[edit on 11-6-2010 by dreamseeker]

reply to post by DaWhiz


Ok here is a great suggestion this is more along the lines of what I am looking for thanks. I will tell her this now.

reply to post by dreamseeker


I'm not accusing your friend of anything. Just making sure they keep their priorities straight... and that they are BOTH 100% committed.

Here's a link that may or maynot be helpful for the KC area.

CraigsList...

reply to post by Hedera Helix


Oh yes they are committed that is why they asked me to help them as well. They are working on this every waking minute. She is here now so I will have her look at that link. Thanks.

My friend and I finally got a hold of her foster parenting case worker. It turns out that the child will need a seperate bedroom by the age of 2 so in a few months. They are sending her the rules so she can show it to public housing.
It is weird how public housing says a child can not have a room of their own until 3 yet the foster system it is 2. It must have changed since thy took the classes. It used to be 3 but then again that was in a different county.
So she only has about around 3 months. Her child is actually 1 year and almost 8 months.

Originally posted by dreamseeker

No sympathy. WOW that is just wrong. She needs at least a 2 bedroom so she can keep her child. Foster parenting has certian rules attached to it.

I get it. I know about foster parenting and the child has to have their own room.

I'm a socialist humanist first - - and believe/support the basic needs of ALL humans should be provided before anything else.

However - the attitude you seem to be presenting (in my opinion) is entitlement.

Why can't the child have the bedroom and the adults make-shift in the living room?

Isn't there also a law that you can't have an unrelated adult living with a minor child? Does the law allow for the boyfriend to live in the same home as the child? Is his income being considered?

There just seems to be more going on here.

reply to post by Annee


Yes he is the other foster parent. The system considers them a couple. I get the reason why they can't have a 3 bedroom because they are considered a couple in eyes of the law. My friend asked if they could stay in the front room on separate beds. They clearly stated in the classes NO common area can be used as a bedroom by any unrelated adult or child.
THEY WERE VERY CLEAR on that issue. The boyfriend will probably just stay with his father in flordia but he is the other foster parent. They bought a sofa sleeper for one of them to sleep on at night years a go. I know it is lying to not tell them the boyfriend will sleep on the coach but they will just assume he sleeps in the bed with my friend.
They do home visits wherever the child lives so they will see that there is only one bedroom and know that what my friends are forced to do against the foster care rules. They agree to be leniant until that child reaches the age of 2.

reply to post by Annee


If this were the case then the problem would be 100% fixed. My friend applied to write for examiner.com which makes hardly any money just to get some more income into the household.
She also applied for asst manager at Sonic. I even offered to baby sit. This is not a lost situation just a complex one.

Originally posted by dreamseeker
reply to post by Annee

 

If this were the case then the problem would be 100% fixed. My friend applied to write for examiner.com which makes hardly any money just to get some more income into the household.
She also applied for asst manager at Sonic. I even offered to baby sit. This is not a lost situation just a complex one.

OK. I've been in complicated complex situations.

I'm in one now. Actually - I'm helping out in one now.

reply to post by Annee


Well then you probably understand. I think that is the new story of the recession. If you want to share it with me you can. If not perhaps I may have misjudged you upfront.
I don't mean to be so defensive but someone says no sympathy it hurts.

Originally posted by dreamseeker
reply to post by Annee

 

Well then you probably understand. I think that is the new story of the recession. If you want to share it with me you can. If not perhaps I may have misjudged you upfront.
I don't mean to be so defensive but someone says no sympathy it hurts.

Consider that I am born and bred in Los Angeles. A place where abuse of the system is catastropic.

One quick story (not current one): My daughter has worked since she was 13 - switched her full job at a major department store to part time so she could go to college. She became pregnant (24 not a teen). Long time boyfriend met at church camp - broke up - came back together for one last Hoo Rah! She was told medically impossible for her to become pregnant. Surprise! Had to have cervical cerclage - almost lost son. Born at 7 months 3 lbs. Was on total bedrest - unable to work. State covered expense - which I don't feel bad about considering she has been paying into the system since age 13.

But - here she is with a preemie - released from hospital at 2 months weight 4 1/2 pounds - - no job. If it wasn't for family - who knows what she would have done. So she asked for 6 months welfare to get on her feet.

Here is what they told her: your records show you can hold a job - so you don't qualify.

Seriously!!! Is the the only way to get government help - - be a complete loser?

Something is definitely wrong with the system.

reply to post by Annee


I know that I get government help and I am not a loser. I have more than one disablity. My friends are not either. I have worked since 14; worked 2 jobs and still work. My friends both worked as well.
She needs to appeal the decsion somehow. I know she can get a lot of help if she has a child. Does she have a case worker. It could be different because I heard the state of California had a lot of finiancal problems.
I am sorry that she had to go through all of that.
I am suprised at 2 pounds they released the baby from the hospital how is the baby doing now?

[edit on 11-6-2010 by dreamseeker]

Years ago I had a boyfriend that worked with homeless families. I'm not talking teenagers - - but middleaged. Who lost their jobs and/or homes - often from illness. I mean this was 30+ years ago and there were thousands then.

So - if this man has family that will take him in - - I consider him one of the lucky fortunate ones. Even if it means separation.

Originally posted by dreamseeker

I am sorry that she had to go through all of that.
I am suprised at 2 pounds they released the baby from the hospital how is the baby doing now?

I have been on disability myself - - short term. And unemployment. We are not all losers. Someone has to pay into the system.

No - grandson was released at 2 months and 4 1/2 pounds. Released before 5 pounds because it was Christmas. Figured I didn't need to add that holiday drama too.

reply to post by Annee


Yes his father lives in a retirement/nursing home . I am pretty sure it is against the rules of the home for him to stay there but his father is well respected there.
Unforunately his father is starting to get some dementia and my friends finace can not take care of him by himself. Everyday they miss each other and just want to be together.
They had a very well thought out plan that they would move in together for about a year; move his dad up to a home up in missouri and get married.
He can't live his father by himself and she is not authorized to take the child out of state yet. The boilogical mother has given up all rights to the child but theboilogical father has not been found.
His father's entire social security and retirement is consumed by the costs of the nursing home. It costs $3000 per month! They have found one in missouri for $2000 per month but they will not allow the finace to stay there.
His father has alzheimer's diease, slight dementia but he is lucky to be healthy enough to fly.

[edit on 11-6-2010 by dreamseeker]

Originally posted by dreamseeker
hotpinkurinalmint

That sounds really judgemental. He is on disablity. He has a bad back; can't work and needs a lot of sugery. He only gets $700 per month for disablity she gets unemployment.
They do not have enough money to get a market rate apartment to accomandate everyone. She never asked for a mansion; she just wanted at least a 3 bedroom apartment that is a far cry from a mansion.
THey are not asking for the tax payers help at all. They still have to pay 30% of their income which is $500 per month. How is it fair that she pays $500 yet only gets a 600 sq foot apartment! She could get that at market rate!
This is a not third world country where everyone lives in one room. I really did mot expect this coming from anyone on here. That is why I stopped checking yahoo answers.
Everyone falls on hard times and no one should be judged.
If she gets a 3 bedroom market rate apartment it would cost her $800-$900 per month that is more than 30% of her income.

Please only helpful information; no judgements please.

He could get his own place. (the finace but he needs a lot of surgery so it will be hard for him to manage on his own.)

[edit on 9-6-2010 by dreamseeker]

[edit on 9-6-2010 by dreamseeker]

Not sure where you live, but it sure sounds nice that people can live for free. $500 for a one bedroom apartment is about the going rate here in Tampa. You want a 3 bedroom?! Even in the sums that'll run you over $800. $1300-$1500 for a middle class environment. What are you smoking? f*ck his religion. Also, I have not had a child yet, but you can damn sure bet they'll be in my room until they are potty trained and can sleep in a bed without my fear of them falling out.

It sounds to me like your friend is getting more than she deserves already.

the apartment isn't free it is $500 per month which is market rate for the one bedroom. She will pay $500 no matter what size she gets since it is public housing.
Her main concern is keeping her child. The child is 1 year 7 months and by the foster care standards for that county must have her own room by two.
I think it is a little harsh to say she shouldn't be allowed to keep the child she raised from birth. Her friend left her with the child at 3 months and never came back. Her friend then called up and gave up all her rights to the state. The state took the child but allowed my friend to become the foster parent. The child has been there most of her life.
The father has not given up his rights yet; as soon as they find him then they can ask the boilogical father to allow them to adopt the child.
Why is it always different standards for people who are poor?
I bet if they were going to take your child because you did not have enough bedrooms you would be complaining as well!