reply to post by halfoldman
S & F for a well-articulated OP and relevant and intersting thread topic
It used to be called being 'a man's man'
, didn't it ?
I railed against it with all my might, with my first boyfriend
as in, ' You have meeeeeeee --- why do you need them ?'
Sob, stamp foot, discuss with girlfriends endlessly
We girls were 'car widows', 'golf and sport widows' etc. -- and we weren't even married to them ! What sort of husbands and fathers were they
going to make, we asked, if they couldn't stay away from their mates for even a weekend ? What was wrong with them ? They had us ! So why did they
need to hang around with each other so often ? Why did they even try to arrange for us to go out away for a weekend in mixed groups ? Whom did they
love -- us, their girlfriends -- or each other ?
But then my father preferred male company, too. He was happier with a group of men than with his wife and kids. We knew it. You could tell by his
voice, the way he laughed, the expression on his face. And although he loved women until the end of his life (in his 80s and days from death, he
asked my brother if the pretty little nurse whose task it was to attend to the most intimate functions of his body was doing it out of 'duty' -- or
because she was more than fond of him. Lol. That's the male for you) he preferred the uncomplicated company of men
Over time, I grew to accept that men enjoy being around other men. And for many reasons. I think to begin with, it's natural for men to seek other
men's company ... just natural, born of thousands of generations of men who had to band together to beat the odds
I think also that men feel more secure in male company. A man's mates will watch his back and a man's less likely to be attacked if he has his
Men understand each other, too. So there's the relaxation of familiarity. Few real surprises. A chance to relax instead of always being on
And men are fun in a way women are not ... in most instances. Toss a woman over the side of a boat and she's likely to be offended, hysterical,
angry, horribly upset, etc. Toss a man over the side of a boat and he'll laugh along with everyone else as he clambers back aboard or swims for
shore. Ordinarily, he will not sulk for three days or insist on lengthy analyses of why it hapened, extract promises that it will never occur again,
etc., the way a woman may well do
Men enjoy periods ... the longer the better in most instances ... without complications. And male company can provide that in a way most women
cannot, imo. Men may seem to 'talk a little or a lot about nothing' , but that's because they need and enjoy the 'down time' to be gained in
each other's company. ' Great day, huh? '
--- 'Yep'. ' Feel like going for a burger ? '
--- ' Yeah, ok, let's go '
Women tend to analyse and dissect, weigh pros and cons, raise issues a man might be attempting to avoid for the time being, etc. So the tossed,
'Great day, huh? Feel like going for a burger'
when said to a woman, might elicit a five minute discussion about the nutritional value of
burgers, the cleanliness of the burger place, the fact there's a nice little salad-bar on the other side of town and while on the way, why not drop
in to see the parents, or take flowers to grandma's grave and pick up some bedsheets which are on sale --- and half an hour to change and re-do the
hair and make-up.
Most men have a special place in their heart for women, but often it's difficult for them to be around even the woman they love - all the time.
Usually, women grow to accept this and accomodate their man's need to spend time with his mates
As a woman, I sometimes envy the mateship that men enjoy. It reminds me of pre-adolescence, when 'our gang' (comprised of boys and girls) would
spend the entire summer-holilday hanging out together. It was the best
We were almost oblivious to gender, back then. We just loved each other
and couldn't wait to be together. We didn't have lengthy conversations that I remember. But the bond between us was strong. Six or more of us
scouring the beach for discarded soft-drink bottles which we'd take to the local shop for 2 pence apiece. Then we'd either spend it on a pile of
sweets which we'd pig-out on, or keep gathering empty bottles until we had enough to pay entrace fee for all of us at the movies, or at a touring
I imagine men find that same sort of easy enjoyment when with their mates and I no longer fight it or begrudge it. Just wish women enjoyed each other
[edit on 26-3-2010 by Dock9]