Manners and Decorum... What ever happened to these principles in the REAL World?!?!?!?, page 1
Pages: <<  1    2    3    4  >>
ATS Members have flagged this thread 20 times
Topic started on 2-2-2010 @ 07:41 PM by JaxonRoberts
I can't speak for any other culture in the world, but in American Society, manners and decorum in public are a thing of the past. In the last 50 years, we have become a rude and disrespectful society, with no semblance of manners whatsoever. Now I am speaking of our culture as a whole. I am aware that there are still those out there who are respectful and well mannered, but they are few and far between.

Today while out running errands, I stopped at the local Mickey D's to have lunch. I could not sit at my favorite table, not because it was occupied by another paying customer, but instead because it was occupied by someone who was there for the free wi-fi and apparently the free electricity, as he had both his laptop and his cell phone plugged into the restaurants wall outlet. He didn't even have the decency to buy a drink there, but instead brought his own along with him. For those who don't see the problem with this, besides being rude, it's called loitering. It was not a socially acceptable thing once upon a time.

A few tables over was a rather rotund individual just talking up a storm with a mouthful of Big Mac, spraying the table, and his dining companions, with small bits of the gastanomical delight, all the while showing those of us within visual range what the begining of the digestive process looks like. It was not a socially acceptable thing once upon a time.

While waiting for the Light Rail, a young lady with two small children in tow stepped onto the platform while engaged quite loudly in a conversation with someone on her cell phone, and using language that would make a sailor blush, completely disregarding her children and the elderly passengers within earshot (not to mention the rest of us). It was not a socially acceptable thing once upon a time.

I work in a higher end restaurant, and it is quite common for someone to answer their cell phone during dinner with others, and just sit there, have a complete conversation and ignore their dining companions, let alone not have the decency to excuse themselves from the table to conduct their conversation in private (or just shut the phone ringer off while dining). It was not a socially acceptable thing once upon a time.

So are Manners and Decorum a thing of the past? Rude, Crude, Lewd, and totally Disrespectful seem to be the values that are held today...


reply posted on 3-2-2010 @ 02:46 AM by JaxonRoberts
reply to post by HappilyEverAfter


I don't know why you would think so, but I had a great day. And those I observed were not having a bad day either. Laptop man seemed quite happy. Big Mac dude was happily telling his full-mouthed story. Cell Phone Mama's conversation was quite upbeat, just full of profanity. And those who use their phones while dining seldom seem upset...

They just all lacked any sense of manners or decorum... Like most of the masses...



reply posted on 3-2-2010 @ 03:00 AM by MeSoCorny
reply to post by JaxonRoberts


[Begin rant] I agree with you completely. It seems people are ruder than ever. You get bumped into and no one says 'sorry' or 'excuse me' they just trample you down like a heard of angry buffalo. The cell phones are the worst. It is my theory that EVERYONE who uses a bluetooth phone headset is automatically an ass. Seriously, I am just trying to walk around and shop and I have to hear some moron yelling profanities amongst their grocery list to whoever has the misfortune to be speaking with them?! Are telephone calls so friggin important that we must have an extended ear stuck to our head in order to CONSTANTLY receive them?! GAAAAH. Hang up, you jerks! [/end rant]


reply posted on 3-2-2010 @ 12:04 PM by concernedcitizan
reply to post by JaxonRoberts


We are a divided self marked by a suppressed inner world and an overgrown representation of ourselves in the outer world, like an avatar in a strange game made of popularity points. Intraversion takes us into the worst of life, which is a fear of death and unpopularity that paralyzes us from taking action. In this state we become absurdly passive, unwilling to criticize or act against things that are wrong but benefit others, and at the same time disproportionately aggressive in the areas society designates for competition. With our excessive reliance on our external self, we become underconfident, as we never come to know our inner world and find ourselves not at home in our own minds. Even worse, we know we are self-serving and come to loathe ourselves for being so shortsighted.

Civility has become a hindrence to success so therefore must be discarded. it will only get worse



reply posted on 3-2-2010 @ 12:21 PM by Dock9
reply to post by zoso28


Whilst I applaud the OP and agree with virtually all the posts

YOURS is it in a nutshell


In fact, I didn't know anyone else saw it as you've described (my family is sick of hearing me say exactly the same thing). And few would even grasp the meaning, because they are, as you say .. and as I must stop saying ... too busy starring in their own movie. Produced by them, starring them, scripted by them, filmed by them )


As for decorum, most would ask, 'What's that mean ? '

And seeing I'm indulging in a little rant, I'll add the 'rauccous laughter' trend, because it's gone past driving me nuts and these days makes me simply weary

We have a prime example living next door. She's an intelligent young woman. Her son is a year or so old and her husband trying his best. So where did she learn to laugh like a drunken sailor ? And why does she do it ?

Then while in the city centre one day, I saw two other young women do the same thing. Repeatedly. Since then, I've seen/heard other young women do it. It's like a return to the days of Bawdy Moll ... indescribably horrible, uncouth, inconsiderate and coarse

Basically, the rauccous laughter 'act' consists of forcing a very loud, very false laugh ... with the mouth wide open. The strain of doing this results in a sound you'd expect to hear once in a blue moon from a truck driver

Except this trend insists on being heard every few minutes

It stops traffic ! You hear it and are astonished. I've never heard such noises emerging from females ever before

Obviously, the women who practice this form of attention-grabbing believe their hideous noises constitute a 'sexy' or 'dirty' laugh. In truth though, it sounds more like a barking bull seal

The woman next door is aged in her 20s I suppose. Any time her friends come to visit, she shatters the air with her 'star' act, the barking-seal laugh. She dominates the area. She steals attention. She won't stop doing it

But, having developed this star-turn, how is she going to turn it off ? If she makes that noise when her son is of school age, that boy will be ridiculed and mocked relentlessly

And while her coarse barking sounds might be considered 'wild' or even 'funny' now --- she's going to alienate the world if she doesn't learn to stop doing it by the time she's 50

But obviously she believes she'll never age past 30. And now she's teaching ... yes, teaching ... her baby son to make the same hideous noise

Decorum ? What's that ?


reply posted on 3-2-2010 @ 12:34 PM by Badgered1
I loved the post that said 'everyone is starring in their own movie.' Fantastic. I do think that people have become so very self centered and oblivious to others.

I'm thinking that there's been a huge social breakdown across the planet. Everyone is working so hard and so long that they are spending less and less time raising their children and teaching them good manners. I made a point to make the evening meal a family occasion, with no TV, and good conversation. It's a great time to instill a few basic table manners into the kids. Not speaking when you have a mouthful of food etc. Very simple stuff, but you need the opportunity to get the point across. You can't do that when the kids are eating junk food from the coffee table while watching Spongebob...

You wouldn't buy a brand new BMW and give it to someone else to drive for you all day, but you'd have a child and leave it with a stranger all day. What are they teaching the kid? I know it's economically impossible for most families to have only one bread-winner, but I see less and less time being spent with children by their working parents.

In my formative years in England, we were barraged with constant reminders of manners, decorum, and civility. Not in any formal way, but by the society that surrounded us. Giving up one's seat to a lady, or opening a door for someone (which I do anyway) was a matter of course until it became politically incorrect and such actions could reap streams of abuse from someone who felt like you were being sexist.

Thank you, please, excuse me. Simple words, but becoming archaic in the English language. Manners maketh man.

When faced with a wait, and Englishman forms an orderly queue of one.

Whenever someone rudely pushes past me, I will call out, "I see, that's like 'excuse me' but without all the politeness baggage!" It's fun to see their faces, and the looks from those around you. Similarly, if somebody fails to say thank you, I will VERY LOUDLY say, "You're very welcome!" (and sometimes just let the door close on them....)
If someone pushes ahead of me in a queue, I will say quite loudly, "No. Really. You go first. You're obviously so much more important than all of us who have been waiting patiently for our turn."
Doesn't hurt to remind people that they are being impolite. If I have to appear impolite to do that, so be it.
I'm a big fella, so I rarely get any push-back!
Pages: <<  1    2    3    4  >>    ^^TOP^^



Only read this if you are quite young?
  Posted 10 days ago with 71 member flags
The World Is Waiting On You To Liberate Yourself From Ego!
  Posted 5 days ago with 36 member flags
Crazy Sufi Wisdom: The Moon Is More Valuable Than The Sun
  Posted 8 days ago with 25 member flags
PEACE To attempt the impossible...
  Posted 4 days ago with 23 member flags
Something I Learned from Looking at my dog in the eye.
  Posted 16 days ago with 17 member flags
Experiment: What would YOU do?
  Posted 16 days ago with 12 member flags
A cry for help....anyone out there?
  Posted 16 days ago with 11 member flags
The unsung canine heroes of 911 (12 of 100 remain)
  Posted 3 days ago with 11 member flags