this might shed light on my conspiracyies

reply to post by P. O. W.

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I agree with GE. Also know that you keep pointing out how many mistakes you've made, but never lose sight of the fact that every living breathing human being has made plenty. You are certainly not alone in that department.

It can be beneficial to write things out. In some ways it can mean letting go of old hurts and past mistakes. When writing it you have to moreless relive it, so you know to be prepared for that.

There is a niche for you somewhere! You are young, and you will find it.

Pow, there is a medication now for just about every mental illness there is. I gather you have organic damage from trauma, and previous stroke caused by trauma, is that right? May need a little more "fine tuning" in the medication department, but it can be done. Just have to keep working with your doctor to hit on what is effective. Have to be patient.

Got some depression going on too, I imagine? That's easy to treat these days. I hope you are taking care of that?

you know I am sorry, but I am pissed off. I tried to wrap everything up neatly explain alienation from society and reality or people the left behind thing the "accidental" strokes and cover-up . And the parallels today with a Behold a Pale horse from revelations. Most of my threads are unfocused or not worded right, my mental illness is a front my neighbors is real pranking me , the brain pacemaker I am almost sure of and I had a long time to consider if my TV is affected. You know great my life doesnt matter all that is important is that all mighty capitalist dollar just whole life phantom of the opera or sign me up for american idol dont tell me then I gotta deal with bad consequences of what you say. Lets be all retarted cd player going into cloud f in cookuu land , a secret booklket behind case in Radiohead double album part 1 Kid A sept 2000 Amnesiac was march 2001. You know great why dont I destroy myself and I am not gay anyway , I guess now 20 years in LA seems worth it dont you think, checkmate.

This will be mt last post, I dont want to keep rehashing the same things. If you think of the 1950's of the 1900's it was a different world with different behaviors and different advancements. The music of today I listened too really pushed the envelope and after I was out of high school , listening to it again finding subliminals. I dont watch music channels that much in 4 or 5 years. I was only saying it could be done (some of revelations) with a compass and a T-square in music , movies, maybe video games or comics with theory of relativity maybe and what that would mean, and nowadays with e-bay, uhh the world. I got lost, sick and exhausted my neighbors have been a distraction and running me into the ground for over 2 years out of touch with normalcy or my old life. When I thought of what my parents would think or extended family or everyone I used to know from different perspectives or the negative backlash I noticed here of different people with different ages and different states. I saw a video of a girl in black dressed clothes sitting at the last supper table with a clown a fire juggler and others. When I listen to Snake River Conspiracy or Atari Teenage Riot or a Perfect Circle I dont know what to think. You know they caused a lot of problems for me personally illegally detaining me and my family having to work in this town playing games at high school and people I know for the opera or broadway show. To be held at the stake like a witch to be humiliated or subject to their opinion for whatever reason, you know great I will be 26 soon how am I supposed to rebuild life when youre done. I am not getting anything out of it I get stupid verbal backlash for a long time for being included , why did we do this, the most brilliant idea ever. There is a movie the Ring where they say "because you showed up is proof that this will never be over why you have to focus on one families tragedy its over but you dont stop". Thanks for making thye movie "Push" yeah like that.

I said I would stop posting and bothering you people I didnt know what to name a thread with this thing I saw in the paper. This 30 year old was charged with spray painting swastikas, 5 orange ones and left purple paint tags. In the picture his hair is shaved like Taxi Driver and wearing a shirt with the joker Heath ledger and what looks like "the Jokes lsd" maybe hand written with same design over lips like lipstick. The other day one of my threads got deleted talking about watching a commercial before south park , michael & michael ohh I want to get more twitter fans , as much as Weird Al Yankovich then showed a girl with blonde pigtails and a bloody nose. I was jumped by 4 people castrated left for dead and unconcious when I was 12. Then a freshman in high school with a head injury and hazing. By twelveth grade I had a full trench, steel tipped boots and a pocket protector with 2 or 3 mechanical pencils in denim coat upper pocket that were hard sharp an almost unbreakable if I needed them for shivs in self defense. I was a good person I just didnt like these people and didnt associate with them since halfway through 10th grade. Then after high school it is arguable if I was contacted through TV in indoendo and hidden speech to go into the mental heath system, and what may or may not be real is all speculation in Behold a Pale Horse they said it would be done safely or on the grounds of make believe. I guess this sums up my rage against the machine or getting pissed off at the system pretty well. Everyone hates me or might notice me or know things about me cause I live in my house , job is probably pipedream and eventually when can get enough money just leave change identity and start over. I saw a movie the other day 9th gate with johnny depp about getting books to summon the devil, I saw it awhile ago and almost bought it. I dont know how credible my theories might sound.

I dont know if sums up looks right if people thought I did that , I was just saying its not fair, why they got to come after me make up stuff and waste my time head injury wasnt bad enough. Last few years I get made fun of a lot for caged animal in mafia basement of phantom of the opera suff I am not going back to normalcy, I am not getting paid so why do I have to do this they need material???

[edit on 23-10-2009 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry I kept ruminating over the same stuff over and over again, get drafted 18 be 26 soon to sit in a room overly medicated deal with the courts for some insane opera. Government run health care , I was living my life playing games tryin to finish college and they keep dragging me into this. The sopohmores are flanking us, the sopohmores are flanking us, ohh the horror we dont wanns watch mtvf you must be the devil. Stupid bigots, youre not allowed to live here , yeah right the cops are going to show up soon and I am going to press charges tell about your clan hat. All the stupid problems I got cause of connected the rehabilitation wasting my life youth away. I dont know if any body on this site wants to here this somehow I think people in tv studios might have got back to them cause of the music or the freemasons just felt like I had a voice.

In Behold a Pale Horse writes about under New World Order club of Rome Ten Global groups
1-North America
2-Western Europe
3-Japan
4-Rest of the Developed Markets
5-Eastern Europe
6-Latin America
7-North Africa& Middle East
8-Main Africa
9-Southeast Asia
10-Centrally planned Asia

under Alien Implants, newspaper clippings about ID tags microchip implantable a microchip provides permanent identification for your pet(and he writes) or child???

talks about Illuminati in Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars and says something like if you dont stand up for your rights your no different than steak on a table and use

The SOLUTION of todays PROBLEMS REQUIRES an approach which is RUTHLESSLY CANDID, with NO AGONIZING OVER RELIGIOUS, MORAL or CULTURAL VALUES.
YOU have QUALIFIED for this project BECAUSE of your ABILITY to LOOK at HUMAN SOCIETY with COLD OBJECTIVITY, and yet analyze and DISCUSS your OBSERVATIONS and CONCLUSIONS with OTHERS of similiar INTELLECTUAL capacity WITHOUT a LOSS of DISCRETION or HUMILITY. Such virtues are excercised in your own best interest. Do not deviate from them.

With my wild speculation aside, I will tell you a story before I go, when I was 3 a bunch of bees or hornets attacked my house in swarms while running out I smashed my head on a pointy brick of the stairs and had to get stiches whether that happened normally or provoked I guess I will never truly know. I remeber A.D.D. and a quiet niever ignorant kid my parents were always moving around. I knew 1 or 2 people good in elementary school that I saw after school. I remember not knowing that I was going to become an adult or if people really got naked in real life like on tv in 4th grade. My parents were always working and in middle school I saw my dad like once a month I think, I knew this one kid really good and used to hang out everyday. Quiet in school knew a few people. In 8th grade I was in an accident and woke up in the hospital in a bed with the right side of my body paralyzed and unable to speak. I went through physical and mental rehabilitation and then high school knew a few people got made fun of stopped associating with anyone halfway through 10th grade. Kept a journal worked on rehabilitating myself and in 12th grade wrote 2 letters cause I didnt fuction properly around women and started asking myself why. I watched that SNL skit Goth Talk with Chris Kattan today on you tube, I was anti-establishment non-conformist pissed off and I couldnt wait for high school to end. After it took me 5 years to officially get my diploma before the summer ended arguably sent subliminal messages of communication through TV but that shouldnt make sense. Than 2 1/2 years of going through the courts over medicated sitting in groups.
Do you understand now why I rebelled, rebellious youth (21) wrongfully imprisoned, you were making fun of me while exploiting me for some reason and everybody wanted to pretend nothing happened. I live in New York I didnt want to be part of any faggy things in music or any megalomaniac s things. My life is a series of head injuries being alone or not a part of anything at times unable to comprehend things hazy strung out and tired. This is America I didnt know we might still be doing this another 4 years, and almost every aspect of my life has been destroyed if that was your intention. I was framed no crime no investigation, my neighbors still say just leave or evil and I am like what dont you get in this country you cant just decide where I am allowed to live youre not allowed to break into my house either they dont realize the problems they caused or feel guilty. With 14 months of them harassing me all day I was going to force people to listen to me this time and get the word out, yeah I dont care whatever problem you have in your own house why are you making it my problem, call a hostpital and tell them of my out of control telepathic powers.
There is this Tool video from way back when of a figure with arms no legs being pushed into a shelf in a wall in a cage. I know its art and it means something to everybody , I just thought of that recently.

You have been through so much in your life, a past filled with confusion, tragedy and despair. I wish you all the best. Do not feel that you have to apologise for anything. There are many of us who have compassion and care.

uhh thank you, I dont know what this looks like me just putting my statements on the internet. I had reason to believe that things might have gotten to some people in TV and just be able to reach people if I kept journal entries online, while trying to find out what is going on. I hope some of what I wrote can help people. I will remember my spiraling out and maybe causing problems with peoples music all my life, its open to interration but this guy in 711 said "think of what he did to all those kids". And I just didnt know what was going on and everyone was lying to me, but I had to sacrifice the rest of my life. Completely alienated from society wasted a h elle of a lot of time got problems after I came here with people trying to kill me and becoming sterile and problems in psych wards. But after I almost died when I was 13 I used to look at things like I still have 2 arms 2 legs I am not blind or deaf and just happy to be alive. I think things can be so much worse. There is a song by my chemical romance, "will you be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned"---Welcome to the Black Parade

I am sorry for writing to much or getting people involved in my personal problems, or ruminating or just putting it out there and subjecting it to people. I didnt know what to think at times that was a song but "Black" parade I was oblivious and got ripped apart cause they had to involve me, music is just music there is so much from different genres and types and this will pass. They used to say they when you have a kid there isnt a manual coming along with it and I fell through the cracks cause of politics and hopefully this can help people not have to make the same mistakes I had to go through. Early development shapes the person you become.

[edit on 25-10-2009 by P. O. W.]

uuhhh thank you, I dont know if I was just venting or going over the same stuff over again or just put a statement on to the vastness of the internet just crashing getting frustrated and I have been sort of out of my mind dealing with things or not able to think clearly. I sort of was around or went to college with adults or the freemasons learning language skills, math on complex arrangements or take them apart understand from different perspectives. I had a massive head injury before high school and then after had to do 8 years cause of High School Musical 3 and sometimes it pisses me off. When they brought me to court I had case workers , psychiatrists , therapists who could all call the cops at a drop of a hat and a bunch of programs I was forced to go to monthly injections. Just business dont you want to listen to these prissy a### make fun of you. You know other people in this neighborhood had their lives handed to them after school get a car go to college start your life and they come after me for "we dont like MTV" I dont care all my life for these leeches. I am sorry I thought eminem used to get made fun of for being a white boy trying to rap after vanilla ice wasnt allowed to say the N -word, love the new cd by the way, 36 years old and a millionaire lets put out a cd kids in high school can smoke and get laid too. Or the girl in Paramore hot red head younger than me "its not the rapture ignorance is your new best friend" I am older than you like college level considering hidden messages or metaphors that may have been over looked , you know I heard Mother Teresa has had her doubts or John Lennons song "imagine" saw yoko ono on an HBO commercial saying something "no I couldnt this cant be happening".

I am sorry for my chronic postings or cyptive delirious stuff, He did the alzheimers mad cow stuff here, ?? I am sorry I have been I dont want to say out of my mind but descending into space madness or something. I justg tried to get my statements to see the light of day sometimes. I have been considering all kinds of options or just double guessing everything. When I was 13 I almost died woke up later, everything was completely covered up and I think this might have been arranged or at least foreseen before time . And then when I was 18 life wasnt screwed up enough THEY decide I should be mentally ill or go in circles with DOCTORS who are trying to help sick people. After the court order 05 I was like everyone can stop lying to me and playing this stupid game behind my back. Then my neighbors showed up and , the other day I was in my kitchen and heard "Wouldnt believed it a UFO just lands here in our backyard". I had all sorts of stupid problems with this hot girl I used to know and stupid stuff in the hostpitals people arent going to get away with. And its like GODD%%% IT you know I had s%%% to do wanna to live my life when youre all finally done with whatever you may or may not be doing. I am practicully 26 if you wanna abduct any other 11 year olds for magical F in journey maybe you just ask them first if they volunteer. They took personal shots for their businesses and by now I am so disconnected from anything real in real life I dont know how I am going to move on, if they let me live and dont kill me from the crazy politics you set up.

I am sorry for frailing out of control its just some things shouldnt of happened. I have like 300 cds in the 90's up to 05 and a few after. You should see some of the "speculation" I found. In this country with rights and womens right and sexual harrassment and all the ways people can work around the laws. I was pissed off had a lot of baggage illigally detained twice my luck is like some ongoing joke. I had a massive head injury , insomnia hazy amnesia tired and lack of info I was not a complete person or able to function at a normal level. My neighbors are really having fun with this 2 1/2 years they call me stupid retarted baby and the gay I really dont like all of them I already got out of high school to get away from you people I dont care this is my house where I live , move yeah right are you high , dont shoot illegal surveilance lasers on my property. There are 4 neighbors who live close to me who have my house surrounded and certain people who come into breakfast club as guest stars or reoccuring characthers. I was just playing video games in my room I lost my mind cause of mushroom poisoning alone and vomiting and felt self destrucutive like 10 different ways got an email and this was years ago. My neighbors pushed me off the edge of sanity , I dont want to talk about strong politics I dont want to even be involved in strong politics, I just wanted to draw pictures go to art school and play video games. They have been inducing a possible psychosis (haunted house) of yelling in the backround and pretending its not real and calling me evil, or the devil. When I almost died I realized how happy and lucky I am just to be alive and live life to the fullest and be thankful I have 2 eyes and 2 arms that work. I try to keep sound around so they cant possibly/probably scan me, I am sorry for getting caught in the middle of a problem I apologized and I wasnt going to keep posting just came on to check old threads.

since this will probably be my last post I thought of something to add , I freaked out over nerves for years having to go back over what was real and everyone around me telling me there is something wrong with my head. Over time I avoided going to certain places became paranoid or mistrustful. At times in the past several I have felt self destructive or bad and no matter how many times I might think that it doesnt necassarily make me a bad person, cause sometimes you might think there is no way out or it might be for the better. I was brought up without religion and just living with my family trying to live a normal life , I know I may have offended people in the past and went through depression coupled with my mental illness. And just recently in a program with a bunch of people who seriously considered ending everything, and thats why they were there.

Before the summer even ended after it took me 5 years to finish high school, I was listening to music thought I heard something I shouldnt off coming from the TV. After a week I was in psych , and over the next few years always trying to pull apart english when I watched tv, like what else could that mean how could it be taken differently, or a series of commercials or messages, whether they use colors or letters or symbols or words or pictures or ideas. I was told that the pyramid on the $1 bill was masonic the eye on top of a pyramid , pyramids have heiroglypics and they also use that symbol for opening third eye your minds eye there are some undergroung refences today to the drug culture, I dont know exactly I had some reading. I may or may not when I look at tv looking too deeply at everything try pulling it apart, could that be "code". With an abundance of things you could search for that might make some sense in peoples literature stories if you can pull them apart and study them for art symbolism and so many books over history and language and peoples cultures of the world and pyramids on 2 different continents I think and space and books about everything. I just wanted to say that being alive is like a gift and can be a great thing at times and it doesnt really put things into perspective till you think you are going to lose that life.
What I was trying to get at was whether or not the freemasons are doing anything connected somehow to the illuminati, that would mean today the best of a trade whether it means composing, writing literature, drawings or making something 3 dimensional like a animated movie or CGI. I was just considering if they were hiding something on a broader scale, but from all these different perspectives. Just they are trained in their fields as professionals and the top of the ladder and I dont know if I had to be "babysitted" or messed with and picked up how to hide things in speech while doing my own investigation. Its just a great time to be alive right now with so much life in every direction I was just going to try to cherish mine as long as I can. You can read things about anything and everything as much as want and can. I dont know my neighbor , I call her mouse just said "I shouldnt be messing with peoples lives" maybe she should take some of her own advice. I dont know a Renaissance today or maybe connected to the freemasons, they might have had an idea or a concept to work with.
[edit on 5-11-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 5-11-2009 by P. O. W.]

I am sorry for my quick written speculation or if at times it seems like I am crashing or frailing out of control. I think this redhead next door might go under the alias mabus in the past. Yesterday I was scrolling through some of her posts and she is crazy I think she thinks this is a holy war or something, I dont know I read something mabus said that might imply he/she was jewish. I think Formlessness1999 might be my other neighbor , and yesterday after trying to write down circumstantial evidence to give to the cops I got into a screaming match with my parents. My mom thinks everything I say is imaginary and I dont know what is real cause of the stigma of mental illness. I said thats would they have been trying to play on since the begining and if they got money and I got bulls%%% almost 3 years and bad hospital experiences talking about inequality in the system they have no right and slave or slavery might have come up. Thinking of writing intro to Behold a Pale Horse cause made good points"you are paying for our mistakes, occupationally orphaned children attending gov. run day care centers" . I dont know a lot of my life has felt like behind glass or something disconnected or watching. I thought I stumbled on a hidden message or subliminal or metaphor. When I was in high school there was this song by Atari Teenage Riot "Destroy 2000 years of culture" and thinking you shouldnt listen to a maniac who had long bad trip then developed telepathic powers. There are possibly others on this site and I dont know maybe trying to send out a distress call , if I eventually contact police I dont know if they will get in touch with this site. Just its harassment , illegal surveilance and possibly conspiracy charges. My mom said I need audio recordings as evidence and proof of criminal wrong doing before I can call the cops. Its just it has been over 2 years couldnt get that much done or even get into a proper sleep shedule for awhile and they still insist on trying to force me out of neighborhood. Mabus wrote "bit by bit and whole by whole and she is going to throw this great happy party for herself when she reaches primary objective".??

Sorry for posting again I was just going to edit a post and add something, in intro of behold a pale horse it also says "To cling to the past is guaranteed suicide. To remain apathetic is assured enslavement. To learn the truth and then act upon it is the only means of survival at this moment. To shrug off the info contained in this book and to disregard its warning will result in the complete destruction of the Republic of the United States of America. You will never get a second warning or a second chance. Like it or not , this is it, stark reality. You can no longer turn your head, ignore it, pretend its not true, say ,it cant happen to me, run or hide. The wolf is at the door.
I fear for the little ones, the innocents, who are already paying for our mistakes. And latch key kids who are running wild in the streets. And the lop-sided, emotionally wounded children of single welfare mothers,... . Open your eyes and look at them for they are the future. In them I see the sure and certain destruction of this once proud nation. In their eyes I see the death of freedom. They carry with them a great emptiness- and someone will surely pay a great deal for their suffering."
On the back cover it says "Like it or not everything is changing. The result will be the most wonderful experience in the history of man or the most horrible enslavement that you can imagine. Be active or abdicate, the future is in your hands." William Cooper, October 24th, 1989.

I am sorry this is the last post, just venting I guess. I was told I was hit by a train or car and left there, later I had found out I was castrated and it was covered up, also I found out from my former best friends mom that 5 cops just "died" and 5 headlights went by my house that night and a few days later I was sick with lemon scented bleach poisoning injectable by attempted murderers the "riot gang" which was also covered up cause I was passed out when it happened. Then I wanted to be set up for a terrorist attack (columbiner copycat) which everyone tries to cover up and coercion forced into mental health forced pharmacuticals meds drugs that make you sick, a court order for not taken fully ordered dose and just when I thought I had freedom of speech no one gets back to me and later becomes turning point of being exploited in music. Then I want to pretend everything is normal for about 2 years, get an email from the military that disappears and when I get out of another unnessacary forced institutionalization my neighbors play games with a spy sound gun to listen to whispers, relentlessly which might mess up my tv and brain pacemaker and pretend that I have telepathic powers in an attempt to force me out of the neighborhood by getting me in trouble with mental illness, and do this every day for about 2 1/2 years, and just when I think I have freedom of speech again I get forced into psych for going to the medical hospital complaining of bleach sickness . I get jumped by a cop have short term memory loss thought I woke up in hell and it was a psych ward and they sent me with a sony playstation in my head to "investigate", dream job. I have to be around homosexuals and AIDS patients, and I am pissed off and post about this in middle of 2 1/2 year delirium exhaustion with supremisist neighbors and guess what I am never going to get a girlfriend again or wife. Come to think of it why would anyone think "I" should get paid for this only in my house 15 years for truman L.A. N.W.O. and traces of it in music going back before that. Everyone hates me makes fun of me and recognizes me for some reason , but hay at least I can buy the same music everyone else can.

[edit on 10-11-2009 by P. O. W.]

OK this is the last post , I know my wild speculation might be causing problems sometimes I get in trouble for the words I choose or trying to describe myself and I dont know if it is annoying keep harping, I wrote this before hand and this will be it.
I am sorry I didnt know what to think if some of my conspiracies theories might have looked a little like Revelations. I didnt know what to think and in the world today there is not much that gives me a unique perspective over anybody else. I was trying to hack or consider all possibilities or do crazy math equations or just psycho babble nonsense. I dont have a lot of info , missing or ignorant and a strange upbringing I have sort of an outsiders perspective. I just considered the messages of love , happiness , be a good person and peace that probably most of the major religions bring with them and I thought there might have a hidden subliminal or something I was really messed up at the time. In the begining when I was first here I was struggling to claim innocence or get out of trouble and I am sorry if it was annoying nonsense.
Just whatever may or may not be going on thinking of possible factory service contract thing and having to sacrifice normalcy or normal phases of life and maybe future and I was having a midlife crisis or thought I was going to die or made such a problem there is nothing left to come back too. Music is a beautiful thing and its just concepts or ideas or the human experience and I didnt want to cause any really big problems for people. Just trying to wrap my head around this and how possible, in Astro creep 2000 a cd by white zombie from 95 or 96 he says in I think "more human than human" I am the nexus 1 (from blade runner) and Rage against the machine battle of lost angeles "guerilla radio" --transmission, 3rd world war 3rd round, the 3rd cd and fourth Renegades had this song "Renegades of funk" ---from a desperate solar system many many galaxies away, we are the voice of another creation a new musical revelation... zulu nation , revelations, destroy all nations, destroy all nations. And thinking of if certain clues might have something to do with my life being detoured or feeling destroyed at times it would still be an honor to be included and I shouldnt just crash or use the wrong words like alzheimers or mad cow disease or an animal, or focus on this away from people or society just spiraling out. Its just in the past I didnt know how to deal had persecution complex or somewhat anti social from high school and I didnt know what was going on, its like anarcky anybody can do anything they want , my neighbors are complaining but if people thought I wanted to be a columbiner or something and party with the musicians they could just "shoot me".
I just wanted to apologize I had trouble dealing with things havent been thinking clearly sometimes dont even feel like a person caged animal,--You might get some info from interogating or illegally detaining terrorists, but it wont be english (suggesting maybe cursing I think)----Daily Show for those who know me personally (I F up a lot). I am sorry I know my out of control posting might cause problems I thought I may have noticed strange things on tv or radio, radio that song makes me think of little horses me,me, me, me, me, me or Jay leno talking about the Biggest Loser or something I dont know maybe the people who have access to my house or the people I sort of have to work with.

I am sorry , I was just angry at the system. After high school I just wanted to get to real life and away from childish behavior I dont kinow destroyed self just trying to deal or something. The people I have been around in the mental health field have been some of the nicest, and it was just like welcoming or community help a partial hospitalization program. I had to deal with authority and caused many a problem for me and my family arguing over the years about my illness and forced psych wards. I was just frustrated, I am sorry for my tone being disgraceful at times or a dumb a-- my neighbors really annoy me and drive me crazy. I shouldnt of done a lot of things in the past though, I am sorry for making people here on this site or subjecting people to my run along sentence nonsense I couldnt deal and used posting as some sort of voice.

uhhh I just wanted to say that I alienated myself here was spiraling out and kept struggling with my original conspiracies they are all sort of connected while I dont know if I was blacklisted or blackballed and most people stayed away from me. When in your house mostly and you think every single thought you have might be heard or you try to always keep a barrier of sound around then wonder about astral picture radiation if that is possible. I couldnt get back on my feet for awhile no car and depression or recession businesses are going bankrupt and hard to get a job and I was just sort of messed up. I dont have anything against peoples sexual orientation or skin color or whatever I already had that issue maybe come up in real life cause of this , I just had a lot of serious hazing in high school my hair was longer head messed up and whatever games the junior class and the conspiracy they formed it doesnt even touch me. Its just I felt a lot of people taking shots at me years ago possibly when I was trying to build a plausible map of what might be real. ..... Dont talk when adults are talking (and) no one wants a herpe faced MF... I think. Trying to think of what it must have felt like to be castrated amnesia 2 big hemmorages and 1 small one a coma a week and 3 weeks of no memory so I can be locked up, like john connor from T2 with a Public Enemy t shirt on, heard this other MC talk about "McDonalds" maybe with cds, or future destroyed cause high school wants to win lottery and everyday with the neighbors EvilLLLLL or leave or youre the devil. Just I wasnt myself and I am sorry if I offended anybody getting lost and talking to myself sometimes emotional. Sorry for causing a scene in front of anybody , I was not well.

Just however you want to look at this I didnt let them do this to me and get away with it, I burned down the whole thing and mostly got sick of listening or looking for clues in music 4 years ago . I can only imagine the problem for the fans I may have caused, they shouldnt have been including me in this anarcky for some reason anyway. And I will get back at high school I have their full names so I can track them anywhere or use completely legal surveilance and show up in a hockey mask late one day.

I am sorry I am gonna take saw time off or just stop posting just emotion going over the same things. What I suspected here or there persecution complex or unable to deal while watching mtv sometimes. I never expected this, and some points of view or certain things maybe see over and over Nelly hot in Herrre or androgny thing or I dont know , I had to sacrifice here and there and I was just stupid and angry years ago, there were very little traces of anything maybe here or there just concepts or ideas for everybody, I am sorry I need to stop myself.
[edit on 12-11-2009 by P. O. W.]

[edit on 12-11-2009 by P. O. W.]