posted on Sep, 6 2009 @ 04:30 AM
Hello ATS, thank you for clicking on this thread, First I would like to say that im fairly new to the ATS community, So bare with me.
A little info about me so you can sort of see things from my perspective, im 20, male, i have had a life that im sure if i told you, you may not
believe me, you may feel sorry for me, you may even want to help me some how, perhaps if this thread goes anywhere, ill add addition info as
so heres the facts: im a paranoid schizophrenic, my mom is bipolar (and she has had brain surgery, but you would never know!) my dad was absent from
my life for 15 years, he was addicted to Meth for some insane amount of years, and pretty much it was a huge trip for him, until God literally came
and pulled him out of it. (Glory be to God!) [I do not believe in any religion, for they are all man made, but I do have a strong FAITH in God.]
so here I am, surfing ATS forums, watching movies, reading the messages of awakening, and lies and deception. The NWO, the clues of it all around us.
And yes, ALOT of it makes sense, and alot of it FITS, but is it real? is all this stuff im reading on here about the corruption of bankers, the
planning of it all, the federal reserve, is all this real?
9/11 wasnt what they portrayed it to be? (I always thought it was) But I mean, so many of us come to these forums everyday not just to see the new
"headline" news about what "may" be happening, but deep down inside, were here to see if this is REAL, and if it is, what the flut can we do about
I mean, im sorry I really cant speak for people, but I have a hard time everyday just getting motivated to do anything because my brain keeps saying
that none of it matters because its all pre determined, that any progress made on this worldly level would be wasted effort, the enslavement to money,
cars, all the things normal people want all mean nothing to me.
Its crazy to because it seems to be working out just fine, and now that I look back on it, it only got messed up when I altered things. (life that is)
But what do I do? im stuck here in my mind, on my own little planet, looking down on all of earth, but putting everything here on it before me, above
me, always loving, always caring for the other, never myself, why cant I progress, what is it that is coming, how can I prepare for it?
As crazy as it may seem, I ask myself ALOT of questions because SOMETIMES my mind gives me answers, it seems to do it more when my mind is thinking on
different wavelengths, but sometimes I get this weird morphing effect in my mind and i feel like im traveling back and forth between very distance
points, very fast, but my mind is going UP and DOWN, I start to feel almost sea sick.
I honestly feel that there is no such thing as coincidence, I dont believe in the big bang, i believe the universe is INFINITE in time AND space. My
Idea of infinite in time and space is like this, infinite time, ofcourse living for EVER, death is merely a change in form. Infinite space, meaning
you can travel forever, as far and as wide as you can go, in theory you would have enough "time" to go to everyplace, but since space did not
"cease" we have a great paradox.
My brain thinks about BOTH positive and negative simultaneously. I feel an equal tug between good and evil. The "devil" tempts me all day and night,
yes "God" always answers my prayers. Yes, he has answered EVERY one of my prayers, yes I will pray for you.
If there are any analytical types reading this, please help me sift through these thoughts, because I dont know if this is even real.