posted on Aug, 16 2009 @ 02:17 PM
My plan is to be cremated, so I don't plan on having a headstone.
Ideally, I'd like to die in privacy and be cremated without a formal service -- no-one there.
If people who knew me would like to do so, they could then have a party or other gathering at a time chosen by them, as a way of acknowledging the
times we shared.
I've never wanted to be buried or to have a headstone. I want my loved ones to be free. Don't want them to feel they have to visit a lump of
granite on certain days of the year. Don't want them to feel guilty for not visiting the grave. Don't want them to imagine me decaying under the
When someone is cremated, they're gone . . literally up in smoke, off with the breeze. It's final. It's clean. It's freeing. The living can
get on with their lives.
I don't want my ashes in an urn or stuck out of the way at the back of a cupboard. What are people supposed to do with someone's ashes ? Yet they
can't throw them away. But all the time, it's in the back of their mind that someone they knew is now in an urn on a high shelf in the garage, so
it's a responsibility they don't need and shouldn't have to bear, in addition to casting a shadow over their thoughts and life. So I'll leave
instructions for someone with no emotional ties to me (a solicitor perhaps) to dispose of my ashes in a garden or something simple like that.
It's my belief that those I love will get over my passing a lot easier and faster this way .. in the same way we can accept it when someone we're
close to moves overseas or just drops out of sight.
So, no headstone for me .. just dead and gone