posted on Nov, 8 2004 @ 10:49 PM
i live in the UK and im 16, and i think its different here to america in that my GP could not prescribe me anti depressants and i had to see a
psychitarist 3 times before they would prescribe me the drugs (fluoxetine, aka prozac)
i was diagnosed as clinically depressed and put on 20mg a day of prozac, within a few days of starting the drugs, i began to get headaches and blurred
vision, the headaches then basically became constant migraines, so bad that i am taking 8-10 paracetamol a day just to be able to do things, more
recently ive started getting very very vivid dreams, so vivid that i wake up thinking its about midnight and that ive been awake and already lived a
day, the dreams are so vivid i can smell and feel things in my dreams, another side effect i get is hallucinations, from seeing and talking to people
for them to walk in the room and ask who im talking to at which point i see 2 of them, as well as the hallucinations i also hear things, like a phone
ringing and no-one calling, i have also recently started to talk in my sleep and sleep walk, either that or i black out when im waking up, i also
suffer from insomnia i sleep about 3 hours every two days, as well as eating maybe once every 2 days, i 8 weeks i have lost 1 and half stone, around
10kg, and i was an average weight in the first place...
since taking the prozac i have become more and more suicidal, so much so that i took an overdose on friday, i took all the tablets i could find in the
house but unfortunatly it just landed me in hospital for a few days with an abnormal heart rhythm and tachycardia(sp?) all effects from a prozac
overdose amongst other things
according to my psychiatrist prozac is the only anti depressant proved to help people my age and that the side effects are likely to be worse with
other medication
im going again to see the psychiatrist tomorrow, in the hope i can get some different anti depressants and maybe some kind of sedative, as i get very
very agitated and violent, and i always need to be doing something, if i have nothing to do i try kill myself, but im usually not that bad if my mind
is occupied by something, i get so agitated i have also cut my wrists, only problem for me is that i dont like needles or anything that goes too deep
into my skin, so cutting my wrists fairly deep makes me pass out, so i wont be killing myself that way
before being put on prozac i did have some suicidal tendencies but no where near as bad to carry them out like i did a few days ago
if anything the prozac has made me worse and into a sort of zombie, i can concentrate even less now than i could before the drugs
if i dont get some anti depressants that start working soon, or something i can take to calm myself down like some kind of sedative, i really do doubt
i will be around for christmas, as i cannot see a way out of how i feel, i live 30 minutes at a time and its an accomplishment to do that
on top of all of this, i have the usual problems of a lot of people not understanding what it like to be depressed and telling me to snap out of it,
my mum being one, she has kicked me out of the house and didnt even come see me in hospital or ring me when i got out (and yeh she did know i was in
hospital) because im apparently faking it because i dont want to go to school, she then took it even further by saying "you dont know how easy you
have life" yeh my life is so easy i dont even want to be alive, but i will have to get a job to pay rent otherwise im gonna be homeless
sorry if this seems like some kind of rant, it just helps slightly to get it off my chest
hope it all makes sense but its nearly 5am here and ive had 3 hours sleep in 72 hours
cleggy`