Anti-depressants... your own experiences..., page 10

i live in the UK and im 16, and i think its different here to america in that my GP could not prescribe me anti depressants and i had to see a psychitarist 3 times before they would prescribe me the drugs (fluoxetine, aka prozac)

i was diagnosed as clinically depressed and put on 20mg a day of prozac, within a few days of starting the drugs, i began to get headaches and blurred vision, the headaches then basically became constant migraines, so bad that i am taking 8-10 paracetamol a day just to be able to do things, more recently ive started getting very very vivid dreams, so vivid that i wake up thinking its about midnight and that ive been awake and already lived a day, the dreams are so vivid i can smell and feel things in my dreams, another side effect i get is hallucinations, from seeing and talking to people for them to walk in the room and ask who im talking to at which point i see 2 of them, as well as the hallucinations i also hear things, like a phone ringing and no-one calling, i have also recently started to talk in my sleep and sleep walk, either that or i black out when im waking up, i also suffer from insomnia i sleep about 3 hours every two days, as well as eating maybe once every 2 days, i 8 weeks i have lost 1 and half stone, around 10kg, and i was an average weight in the first place...

since taking the prozac i have become more and more suicidal, so much so that i took an overdose on friday, i took all the tablets i could find in the house but unfortunatly it just landed me in hospital for a few days with an abnormal heart rhythm and tachycardia(sp?) all effects from a prozac overdose amongst other things

according to my psychiatrist prozac is the only anti depressant proved to help people my age and that the side effects are likely to be worse with other medication

im going again to see the psychiatrist tomorrow, in the hope i can get some different anti depressants and maybe some kind of sedative, as i get very very agitated and violent, and i always need to be doing something, if i have nothing to do i try kill myself, but im usually not that bad if my mind is occupied by something, i get so agitated i have also cut my wrists, only problem for me is that i dont like needles or anything that goes too deep into my skin, so cutting my wrists fairly deep makes me pass out, so i wont be killing myself that way

before being put on prozac i did have some suicidal tendencies but no where near as bad to carry them out like i did a few days ago

if anything the prozac has made me worse and into a sort of zombie, i can concentrate even less now than i could before the drugs

if i dont get some anti depressants that start working soon, or something i can take to calm myself down like some kind of sedative, i really do doubt i will be around for christmas, as i cannot see a way out of how i feel, i live 30 minutes at a time and its an accomplishment to do that

on top of all of this, i have the usual problems of a lot of people not understanding what it like to be depressed and telling me to snap out of it, my mum being one, she has kicked me out of the house and didnt even come see me in hospital or ring me when i got out (and yeh she did know i was in hospital) because im apparently faking it because i dont want to go to school, she then took it even further by saying "you dont know how easy you have life" yeh my life is so easy i dont even want to be alive, but i will have to get a job to pay rent otherwise im gonna be homeless

sorry if this seems like some kind of rant, it just helps slightly to get it off my chest

hope it all makes sense but its nearly 5am here and ive had 3 hours sleep in 72 hours

cleggy`