At one point I was taking 40 mg of paxil a day. Considering at the time I only weighed 120 pounds its was a very high mg to weight ratio. Anyways,
since it was a state facility I was required to do some specific things.
For instance they wanted me to quit drinking because in their opinion the alcohol was the cause of my depression. I knew they were full of # since my
first bout of depression began when I was only 13, long before imbibing my first alcohol beverage. It was my self medication to alleviate my
depression (along with some smoke, my preferred method of self medication), not the cause of my depression. That coupled with the individuals involved
convinced me they knew less than jack #.
Specifically I had to watch some intake video as part of my treatment. Objecting to some of the videos contents I asked my shrink about it. She said
"I've never actually watched them." So naturally she couldnt answer the questions or alleviate my concerns.
I determined, as previously stated, they didnt know what the hell they were talking about and decided to quit taking my paxil and go on with my own
life without depending on shrinks, or the state. So I quit taking my paxil cold turkey.
Now that was a rather interesting experience. Vivid (psychotic) dreams. Weird body twitches, severe suicidal tendicies and bouts of mounting rage. My
poor keyboard at the time became the focal point when I expressed my feelings one night coming off paxil. However the most intense thing I remember
(this was nearly 4 years ago) was the electric shocks. Waves of electricity traversed my head from front to back, or from the central portion of my
head cavity to the outer layers of my brain. I actually get that sensation to this day once in awhile and know it is entirely attributed to the paxil
I use to take. So yeah there are long term repercutions to taking antidepressants.
My experience left me very jaded towards any prescription drugs and towards the field of psychology in general. Theres to much money to be made
shilling prozac et all and in treating peoples feelings (manipulating them) to really care about the underlying causes. It's all about the bottom
line and not all about the people. Maybe there are some good shrinks and I just had a piss poor one, but knowing human nature, more often than not,
they are only interested in the all mighty dollar.
I rarely drink anymore and still suffer with long term low grade depression with bouts of serious depression, when I'm most depressed I'll get some
marijuana and smoke out my blues, best cure I've personally ever experienced and # everyone that would condem me for it.
I recently found an interesting (like 2 days ago found) article about what could be the underlying cause of much depression. It is really why I even
bothered to write this essay, as I wanted to share it with others in ATS that may suffer from depression.
I have to split the link so it doesnt kill the format (making people scroll every sentence) so cut and paste it.
Should be one line I cut at the = sign so you know how to reassemble it
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. Just thought I share.