Anti-depressants... your own experiences...

In response to the thread: "the mass school shooters were on medication!!!" and the gross miss-information about anti-depressants and those of us who take them, i propose a thread dedicated to the educating of those people and the rest of ATS, about our experiences with the drugs and depression in general... DENY IGNORANCE!

I suffered from depression wen i was in the 11th grade... i was just feeling really sad ALL the time to be honest... and i just felt that being that SAD was normal, so wen some thing happy did happen... i was like telling my self to be sad again... to be normal again. I had started a new school (had very few friends and felt WAY WAY WAY outta place), i was failing subjects (something i had never done EVA in my whole schooling life!). Because everything was SO new... the only thing that felt normal and "the same" was the way i felt... the depression... so i sorta harboured it... some normalicy in a world that i had no idea about. (i had moved from this country town to the city... so u get my drift...)

I probably had it for about 2months before my parents and i acted and got me some help. The doctor said that i was suffering from depression and he perscribed me some anti-depressants. My were called "Zoloft", i think they were sort of ya general anti-d's... sertraline HCL.
I took a week off school to make sure they worked before i went back... well the next week... i felt a LOT better... and eventually with some talking with the school psyc (which i didn't like) everything in my life was put into perspective... "it's a new school but u will get use to it"... "u have some really good friends, don't care wat anybody else says about ya", "don't wry bout your subjects... u will pass"... i mean everyone had already been saying those things to me before... but u have to sorta learn and realise those things your self before, for them to make a difference...

Well i continued to take the pills for the rest of the year. I stopped taking them at the beginning of year 12... i made the decision... i felt that they had done wat that had to do, i was back to the way i was before depression (immature as ever) and i didn't want to be on them the rest of my life.

[edit on 16/6/2004 by jameo131i]

Most people that suffer from depression have a chemical imbalance (lack of serotonin) in their brain.

Many factors (such as stress) contribute to this.

Anti-depressants, such as Zoloft, rastores that balance.

These drugs have helped a lot of people.

Since most of these "school shooters" were troubled kids anyway, it actually would be more surprising to me if these kids were not on some type of medication, but this would be more of a symptom than a cause.

My spouse suffered from it for 30 years before getting treatment... and the difference was amazing. Our daughter also suffers from depression (they were both diagnosed the same year and both got on meds.)

You can't imagine the relief... not only for them, but for me and my son (who aren't depressed.) They weren't nasty, but they were perpetually sad and had no taste for life. There was little they enjoyed and they often made choices based on depression.

In 2001 I was attempting to quit smoking.... over and over and failing............so my gynocologist suggested I try taking Zoloft, for a side effect of this drug is that you no longer WANT to smoke. I thought "sure, I am willing to get help anyway I can here"......so on dec 4th I started taking the Zoloft.

Ive NEVER in my entire life been so confused......nearing Christmass I just wanted to die, end all the pain and anguish. I never did feel PROMPTED to quit smoking in the least....I wanted to jump out of a window instead.In fact I was yelling at my coworkers and freeking out at my boss, and they put me on probation! this is just NOT like me at all. I no longer had any patience for my son, and was hating the Christmass holiday way out of preportion....hating my job...hating the neighboors.... I found myself up at night thinking of ways to make this nasty old world GO AWAY.........and along THIS line of thought I believed I MUST take my son with me, for it wouldnt be fair to leave him alive alone on this nasty planet of hoplessness and regret..........

OMG! This is NOT ME! I am one of the more up beat people I know of....no matter WHAT befalls me I always find the bright side and makes light of the issue, to keep a smile on my face, and the others around me lauffing...........SO wondering WTF was WRONG with me I thought MAYBE this PILL I was taking might have something to do with it??......and instead of burning the house to the ground with me and my son in it on Christmass eve, I decided to STOP taking the Zoloft...............Christmass morning came and went and of course I still had enough Zoloft in my system that it took a few days to see the light. By January first I was coming into my OLD self again...and my son noticed right off......."jeez Mom welcome back to the real world!" he said to me that first of the year 2002..........
By the 2nd week of Jan the entire Zoloft episode seamed like a bad memory.....I STILL cant believe what I mentally went through on this drug, or the strange thoughts that went through my head.......I told the doctors about my reaction.....I told my friends as well and they all said I was noticably very grouchy, bitchy and STRANGE in December.

I would way rather be addicted to the evil tobacco than EVER take such a mood altering substance again.

Just a couple of months ago my best female friend had about the same experiance taking Paxil...she only took it for only one month. She to wanted to take her own life as well as the lives of her children. her experiance was NOT with Zoloft however, but our experiances are just TP FREEKIN similar. She now says she has NO DOUBT as to my claims of explaining WTF was up with me in 2002.

I am VERY scared of these so called anti depressents. maybe I ONLY had this reaction because my serritonin levels are in the normal range..........and taking said drug was messing up my NORMAL levels........... hey I dunno.....gimme cigerettes anyday man!......even though I HATE the smell, I only smoke outside and I have gum. Without the anti depressant I am my life affirming self, quick to laugh once more.....


[Edited on 6-5-2004 by theRiverGoddess]

It sometimes takes awhile to find the correct drug and doseage, but the difference is just amazing. Everyone has been sad, but take that feeling and intensify it to the point that the world looks physicaly bleaker, colors are dull, NOTHING is worthwhile, and this goes on 24/7.

After finding the right med though, it's like you get your life back, there's still joy and sorrow but in the normal way of ups and downs instead of always down.

OMG Rivergoddess! That doctor should NOT have given u Zoloft to help u stop smoking! It isn't for that! Bloody hell! Wat a Dick HEAD! The drugs, correct imbalances in your brain like Seth Bullock said. If u don't have any then u get narchy! I got the same way before i stoppped taking them... i stopped taking then cos i was starting to turn into a right biatch!!! LOL!
It's the doctors fault u were stuffed around SO much!

AND AMEN DUKE!!!

[Edited on 6/5/2004 by jameo131i]

i just got #ty at that other thread cos they were implying that the kids shot everyone cos they were on anti-d's...

Hey River Goddes,

Where is the River. I have been taking Zoloft since 2000,
welcome to the new mellinium Your above description is what I was like until a shrink dosed me with 500 milligrams of Zoloft. It took a couple of weeks to attain that level. But I finally didn't give a crap about anything. After awhile I decreased my dosage to 150 mil and this a good balance for my polar disorder, sometimes I think I should go back up to 299, it is safer for the people around me. Zoloft is not an anti depressant. It controls the firing of neurons in your brain
and controls the re uptake of Serotonin, the same chemical in your brain that is activated by '___'. You were on a bad trip I strongly suggest you never see that stupid Dr. again. They are like everyone else some got 4.0 averages and some got their degree with 2.0 yet they all think of themeselves as God's, except for a rare few. Seek them out, you can see them they look in your eyes.

TUT

Jesus, kids on drugs. AND I've got 2 of them, Ritalin, not my choice. I'm hoping this is an aberation and not the norm. I could give you my experience with "legal drugs" but that would take another thread, with pictures, diagrams, etc.

Christ, feeling bad is what growing up is all about. Prepares you for life. You think that you're the only one that feels this way? Let me tell you, now I'm postulating, that quarterback, "cool guy", "goth chick", they're all feeling the same things. They just deal with it because they've got "they're" support groups. Friends. Sorry gang, I"ve been through the legal and illegal drugs and it doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, chemical imbalance. Don't buy that for a dollar, I think that it's uncommon. Experience life or you won't be able to deal with it. Let the flaming begin.

This is from someone that has been bitten by these "solutions."

If you want to do drugs, and I'm not promoting that, don't get Mom and Dad to get them for you.

[Edited on 6-5-2004 by intrepid]

Originally posted by intrepid

Christ, feeling bad is what growing up is all about. Prepares you for life. You think that you're the only one that feels this way? Let me tell you, now I'm postulating, that quarterback, "cool guy", "goth chick", they're all feeling the same things. They just deal with it because they've got "they're" support groups. Friends. Sorry gang, I"ve been through the legal and illegal drugs and it doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, chemical imbalance. Don't buy that for a dollar, I think that it's uncommon. Experience life or you won't be able to deal with it. Let the flaming begin.

[Edited on 6-5-2004 by intrepid]

No , It's not just a chemical imbalance but has other contributing factors. It's hard to get the full impact and the intensity across to someone. You don't fell bad, you feel horrible, doomed, tormented, and it doesn't stop. On some levels you realize that this is a normal emotion, but it has been intensified, crystalized to such an extent that it is the only emotion that you have, it is the prism that you look through and thus distorts how you see things.

www.psychologyinfo.com...
www.pslgroup.com...

Originally posted by Duke_Nukem

Originally posted by intrepid

Christ, feeling bad is what growing up is all about. Prepares you for life. You think that you're the only one that feels this way? Let me tell you, now I'm postulating, that quarterback, "cool guy", "goth chick", they're all feeling the same things. They just deal with it because they've got "they're" support groups. Friends. Sorry gang, I"ve been through the legal and illegal drugs and it doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, chemical imbalance. Don't buy that for a dollar, I think that it's uncommon. Experience life or you won't be able to deal with it. Let the flaming begin.

[Edited on 6-5-2004 by intrepid]

No

, It's not just a chemical imbalance but has other contributing factors. It's hard to get the full impact and the intensity across to someone. You don't fell bad, you feel horrible, doomed, tormented, and it doesn't stop. On some levels you realize that this is a normal emotion, but it has been intensified, crystalized to such an extent that it is the only emotion that you have, it is the prism that you look through and thus distorts how you see things.

www.psychologyinfo.com...
www.pslgroup.com...

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING? English helps?? ?? ??

I have experienced bouts of depression for most of my life. I was dead-set against taking any kind of medication. I did all sorts of therapy, read all sorts of self-help books. I did several 12-Step groups and still benefit greatly from one of them. And all of these contributed to a certain extent in my greater self-awareness. But my depressions continued. I would crash and go underground for months, unable to feel joy or initiative for anything. The world was gray, and all I could see was the pointlessness of everything. After lots of prodding from my friends, my doctor and my partner, I began taking Zoloft. After a while, I didn't care about anything, not even my depression. I felt completely numb. So I took myself off Zoloft, gradually. The depressions returned. I had a few severe crashes. My partner and I spent what should have been a wonderful 2 weeks in the Canadian Rockies. There was absolutely no reason for it, but all I could see was pointlessness and despair. When I came home I talked with my doctor again and he prescribed Effexor. After a week of getting used to it, I began to feel my depression melt away. And I felt like myself again. Yes, I know, that is what they say on the commercial. But it's true. I have been on it for a year and a half now. It has changed my life for the better.

My doctor told me that medications are very personal things: each person's chemistry is different. What will work for one person won't necessarily work for another. And most people change medications and dosage in the first year to get the right level. I'm glad I stuck it out. My life really works today.

That is my experience.

Fortinbras ---

I'm glad that you found yourself, and in our country no less. This is something that happens SO irregularily that it needs mention, to the DR.S. Christ, they are the ones prescribibing this #.

intrepid...

No = No I am not flaming you

From your statement "feeling bad is what growing up is all about" it seemed to me that you did not comprehend that when people talk about depression it's not just "feeling bad". I was trying to illistrate most people do not understand what a true depressive state of mind is. Since this is from a subjective perspective trying to get this across to another person is difficult.

I also pointed out that a chemical imbalance was not the one and only cause. That other influences are involved. If my words were unclear then that is my fault for not choosing better ones, but again, in trying to get the full impact and the true depth across concerning the emotions involved words sometimes fail.

I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV......

What I've related was just the experiance I had......I've since learned Zoloft isnt for quitting smoking, but Ive been scared of any anti depressants just the same, it was a VERY BAD TRIP and who can blame me??nobody says that I could use them otherwise. I was taking them to quit smoking only......
Plus I DID change doctors after this awfull episode, loosing all trust in that person.....
I do know severall people who are on anti depressants, and they truly seamed to be helped by theyre meds! Thank goodness they have some help.Hence why I was so ready to give it a shot........

It depends on which river you refer to if you want me to tell you its location...

Its was NOT EASY to relate this story to the general public for I think it makes me look a lunatic.....but I can asure I am not......this thread is about peoples experiances with Zoloft so I believe mine has merrit. e If it sounds crazy, its because the experiance was one of insanity.............hence my shareing of this.
Go ahead and pick on me, for it does NOT change what I went through.......and I bet you dollars to dougnuts I am NOT alone in having such an experiance with said anti depressants.........but just maybe I am alone in being able to admit it?

I am the one that must apologize. I've already done my time, I was just trying to save you some. It doesn't lessen what you feel, but FEEL it. It will help you later.

No need intrepid, still being new to this forum I'm still learning. I do FEEL now but at least from my point of view it's due to the help of the meds (225 mg Effexor) in allowing me to get the depression under control so that I can use other methods , bio-feedback, meditation, ATS, to help me keep things in perspective.

Hey!
I'm crazy.
I've got something that the doctors like to call (get ready for it!) "Major Depression - Recurrent, with Psychosis."
Here's the lowdown ... when I'd get down, I couldn't function. I mean that. I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't communicate, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything. I just wanted to die so I wouldn't feel like that again. I'd cry until I was so depressed I couldn't even find comfort in crying, and then I'd dissociate, sometimes for days.

It isn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy.

"But Banshee," you might be thinking. "You don't act depressed. You seem to have an okay life now."
And if you're thinking that, you're right.

I finally got the help I needed several years ago.
The first thing my doctor did was put me on Prozac. I didn't want to take medication, but I was desperate for something resembling a life. I couldn't live like that anymore.
Damned if it wasn't a month later that the stuff really started to make a difference, and I was able to do the really hard part: counseling.
Meds aren't a complete cure; they're one piece to the puzzle. They cleared my head enough to face problems I couldn't deal with before.

The meds weren't all roses, though.
As was mentioned before, everyone's body chemistry is different and not every anti-depressant works the same on everyone. The Prozac only had limited effect, so I was switched to Effexor. I had an allergic reaction to the Effexor, so I was switched to Lexapro. Lexapro didn't work, so I tried Wellbutrin.
And .... jackpot.
For the first time in my life, I felt "normal."

I'm okay with the fact that I have a chronic illness. That's what depression is. Medical depression is caused by a problem with one's brain chemistry, the same way an illness like diabetes is caused by a malfunction of the pancreas.

I've been off the Wellbutrin for about four months now, after several years of medication & counseling.
I don't deny the fact that I may have to resume treatment if I relapse, but I also know I may not need to. The brain works in odd ways, and proper treatment may reverse the imbalances completely.

What matters is that I can live the kind of life most people take for granted now.

-B.

[Edited on 6-5-2004 by Banshee]

Originally posted by Duke_Nukem
No need intrepid, still being new to this forum I'm still learning. I do FEEL now but at least from my point of view it's due to the help of the meds (225 mg Effexor) in allowing me to get the depression under control so that I can use other methods , bio-feedback, meditation, ATS, to help me keep things in perspective.

Cool. It's amazing what this forum can do for you. Keep things in perspective, bro, and if you have a difficult time, we're here. This forum has helped me too.

Originally posted by theRiverGoddess
I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV......


Plus I DID change doctors after this awfull episode, loosing all trust in that person.....

It depends on which river you refer to if you want me to tell you its location...

Its was NOT EASY to relate this story to the general public for I think it makes me look a lunatic

.....but I can asure I am not......this thread is about peoples experiances with Zoloft so I believe mine has merrit. e If it sounds crazy, its because the experiance was one of insanity.............hence my shareing of this.
Go ahead and pick on me, for it does NOT change what I went through.......and I bet you dollars to dougnuts I am NOT alone in having such an experiance with said anti depressants.........but just maybe I am alone in being able to admit it?

I've ben close to Utah, Ely.Nv. but never in it. How many rivers you got there, one No my dear you are not alone and sometimes it is immpossible to relate to anything let alone a human. I have been known to talk to rocks Short poem from the 70's when death was close over my shoulder where it always is, waiting to touch

"I saw my Rock
With my Eye's
and
I loved It" E.M.

How are you getting along now River Goddess? Well I hope.

Hang in there Banshee I also am chronically mentally ill and they pay me to stay at home and not drive any one insaneIt is not easy I enjoy pushing buttons. I allways wondered about your handle, now I do not have to ask:coolo I Banshee

Yo Duke Nukem

I also am Behind the Redwood Curtain. Arcata to be precise. Enjoy your posts also.

In closing I would like to add that more often than not the percieved lunatics are the actual sanity. I refer you to an excellent book and movie in the 60's I was fortunate enough to see it Off Broadway in Boston while attending B.U. School of Theatre. "One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest"
It will put it all into perspective for you. Which is what sanity is, perspective

Respectfully yours,

Tututkamen