Children use opposite sex parent as template for a partner

Children use opposite sex parent as template for a partner

www.telegraph.co.uk

Women are attracted to men who look like their fathers and men are attracted to women who resemble their mothers, a new study shows.

(visit the link for the full news article)

Well I can honestly say that my wife looks nothing like my mother.

Does that mean there's something wrong with me? According to this article there very well could be, LOL.


www.telegraph.co.uk
(visit the link for the full news article)

I'm going to have to say no. That is awkward, but funny. It's like, by the way did I ever tell you that you look like my mother. *smack* You creep!!!!

[edit on 3-9-2008 by Shrukin89]

Ya I have to agree, none of my g/fs ever looked like my mother..

La La De Da.

Same here; my wife and my mother look nothing alike. Now there's always the possibility of personality being an issue, but I really don't want to know whether or not I got married to my wife because she reminded me of my mom ... that's a little ... um... no.

I can only think of one girl I dated who looked something like my mother... and it didn't work out for just that reason.
All the other girlfriends I've had have that worked out ok, looked nothing like my mother.

My Fiance. 6' Redhead, blue eyes, long legs.
My mother. 5' 6" Brunette, brown eyes, stocky.

There's simply no comparison.

If they're referring to personality.
My fiance is a pretty easy going person. Loves to act childish, works as an animator, loves to challenge me on video games. Intellectually challenges me on many subjects (outside of technology).

My mother is strict as all hell... you can see it in her face the amount of time she's spent scowling. Anything that isn't prim and proper is flat out wrong to her. She's old school, believing the women stay at home and cook. (I severely disagree).

Again, no comparison.


I've also never seen a link between my friends mothers/fathers, and the women/men they date.

So I'm going to have to conclude that this is a very small percentage of people they are talking about here. If their argument holds water at all.

[edit on 3-9-2008 by johnsky]

Thanks for your answers, glad it's not just me then.

I guess Sigmund Freud was right.

One day high on a white bitter substance he came to a revelation that men wanted to marry their mothers and kill their fathers, while women wanted to marry their fathers and kill their mothers.

Originally posted by CPYKOmega
I guess Sigmund Freud was right.

One day high on a white bitter substance he came to a revelation that men wanted to marry their mothers and kill their fathers, while women wanted to marry their fathers and kill their mothers.

I was about to say, this is not a new claim at all. Freud was all about this when he was on enough coc aine to kill a horse. I could see maybe features in personality (like loving and caring etc etc), but in looks....I don't think so.

It may not be an exact look alike but there may be similarities. It would be creepy to marry a twin. But if you look hard enough, you may find the similarities.

For example, both my MIL have fibromyalgia and arthritis. We are both very busty. Though it is wasted on my Husband since he isn't a boob man.

Though I have always dated skinny light complected guys. My husband is tall and stocky, a little darker, and has soccer player legs like my father.

You don't tend to marry the same type of person you date. Most people I know end up marrying someone completely different then what they have dated all along.

Now that I am thinking about it, My cousin married a guy show is short, dark haired, and wears glasses like her father.

I don't think there is anything perverse in it. IN nature, if you live long enough to reproduce, it is because of good genes. So why not stick to what works.

Doesn't work for me either. Women are like a buffet to me. I like them all shapes, sizes, and color combinations. (But one at a time, or I get confused and the flavors don't mix well.)

This has been said for decades, if not longer. I've known it to be true in some cases, but not for the majority.

I've also seen it be less specific, like the person doesn't choose a partner that looks exactly like their parent, but some traits are the same. As an example, a girl with a really tall father might be attracted to really tall men, or a man might prefer women with short hair as his mom always kept her hair short. Though, usually the people don't make the connection themselves.

So my little girls are going to end up with someone who looks like me?

Poor little blighters!

I look like i fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

CX.


[edit on 3/9/08 by CX]

‘I want a girl, just like the girl, that married dear old dad’

I think that we do pick up cues as to what’s attractive and what isn’t from our family, but in today’s media saturated society, we’re exposed to a much broader range of genetic types and so have much broader tastes. IMO

Looks wise no similarity but personality yeh i guess it rings true. I love em both but they both drive me mad too

Hmmmmmmm. Guess I missed de ol' Freudian boat then. My Bride looks nothing like my Mom; their personalities are greatly divergent as well. Both of them love me -- that's the primary similarity.

reply to post by nixie_nox

Damn, Nixie, what's the point of having them then! Poor you!

One of my friends married his mother. Not so much in the looks department, besides the fact that the women are both ugly in their own ways - moreso their controlling, dominating personalities. Poor bastard, he's chosen his lot in life!

EDIT to add that he actually is a bastard, he's adopted and has no info about his real parents. The thing that he married resembles his adopted mother. Genetics had very little to do with his choice, it was all based on upbringing.

[edit on 3-9-2008 by tezzajw]

I am absolutely nothing like my mother in law in regards to looks or personality, we are pretty close to complete opposites in almost all aspects.

The only similarities between my dad and my husband is that they both have olive skin color and almost black hair, but nothing else about them is even close in looks or personality.

However, I do hope that our daughter would marry someone like her dad especially in personality (then I would know that she would be treated REALLY well)

reply to post by tezzajw


LMAO I was telling my husband that yesterday that many would think this is a terrible waste. He just shrugged.

I sometimes wonder if he really is a closet boob guy. Unfortunately though, they did increase in size after my kidlet, and it is kind of ridiculous. I wouldn't mind a reduction.

Now, as far as partner choosing, there may be a genetic basis, but there is a lot of information being studied and released recently that your siblings also determine who you marry.

That your siblings can dictate the person you become just as much as your parents do. You do everything with your siblings. You learn from the older ones, learn to negotiate, compromise. You get dating tips and you watch what they do.

It is actually a very interesting subject to look into.

I don't like these studies that come out and claim something like this. Like it is cut and dry and the only facts.

Like the one that just came out and said men can be genetically pre-disposed to cheat.

there is way too much social and nurture influence to sit there and say that any one thing can happen.

[edit on 3-9-2008 by nixie_nox]

reply to post by nixie_nox


Nixie, here's hoping that the light in the closet switches on for you some day or night! I'm sure there's plenty of others who would be willing to flick the switch.

As for siblings... my friend was an only child, so I can't comment on how he was influenced to marry his mother?

Watching my own boys grow up, I can see how they copy from each other, regardless of age. I wouldn't mind if they married someone like their mum - if they ever get married. Lucky for me, that's a long way away.