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Children use opposite sex parent as template for a partner

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posted on Sep, 3 2008 @ 10:01 PM
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That cant possibly be a new study??? I heard that probably 20 years ago. New study in the US perhaps.




posted on Sep, 3 2008 @ 10:46 PM
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reply to post by StefanO
 


That's usually the way it goes.

Someone comes up with something a really long time ago... and then someone in the States, or Britain, re-states it as if it were new news.

Meh... everyone's gotta get paid somehow.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 03:58 AM
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So how does that work if you grow up with only one parent? My father died when i was only a couple of months old, and my mother never remarried.
Does that mean you end up alone?

Or should i use my mother as the template?
I hope not...



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 05:11 AM
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Originally posted by Star kitten
So how does that work if you grow up with only one parent? My father died when i was only a couple of months old, and my mother never remarried.
Does that mean you end up alone?

Or should i use my mother as the template?
I hope not...


I think its genetic, not that you actually grow up with them.
Because my sister is attracted to guys like my dad, and she barely new him as he died when she was 7.
I believe through DNA we are somehow connected to our parents in the way of likes and dislikes.
Its like some kind of signature imprinted into us.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 05:19 AM
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my sister's fience is exactly like our father, in pretty much every way, their mannerisms are the same, the way they talk are the same.

even their dating lives are similar
my father only had one or two girlfriends before he met my mum in his late twenties. my sisters partner is the same.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 08:47 AM
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It's called the Oedipus Complex and is named after a Mythical Greek king names Oedipus who kills his father and marries his mother...



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 08:50 AM
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I think denial is not just a river in Egypt.

"My spouse looks nothing like my parents! No, really, not a thing!"

This isn't news anyway, this is olds. Freud had this down decades ago.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 08:53 AM
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Whoever wrote that statement must look for broads at the 55+ center, thats just sick...



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 09:42 AM
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I don't think it'sso much that a child will marry someone that "looks" like thier mother or father.

But more that they are apt to marry someone that "behaves" like thier mom or dad.

I know both of my brother in laws look nothing like my father, but they sure do act a hell of alot like him. Mentally abusive ect, sometimes physically.

As far as boys marrying woman that act like thier mother, I find that to be a little more less likely. But that could just be my experiences.

But I really do think that girls do look for men that may not exactly look like thier fathers, but surely act alot like them.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 10:19 AM
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Originally posted by Jibbs


Well I can honestly say that my wife looks nothing like my mother.

Does that mean there's something wrong with me? According to this article there very well could be, LOL.


www.telegraph.co.uk
(visit the link for the full news article)


Maybe it means there is something wrong with everybody except you. Did you think of that?

-rrr



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 11:23 AM
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A NEW study says????? I can't help but laugh at the idea that this is a new concept. I remember in my sophmore year in high school when I took psychology 1 that was one of the principals from Sigmund Freud.

So how exactly is this a new study? Besides, there are better proven psychological ideals. Such as B.F. Skinner's Classical Control techniques, which are used against the masses here in the USA almost daily.

To say that males chose their wives based on what their mother was like is totally inaccurate in my own eyes. I can honestly say that I have never dated anyone that was remotely close to how my mother was like.

I feel it is safe to say the same about the opposite. Which would be that females do not chose their lovers by how their fathers act, look, ect.

I think that if this was the case you would hear more of fathers and son in laws getting along more so than disliking one another.

I remain in my opinion that this theory is total b.s.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 11:23 AM
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I do not believe this one bit. I have heard several people claim this, but everyday life in itself doesn't suggest this.

There are qualities everyone likes and looks for in a person...if their parents have these same qualities...then so be it. I doubt it's anything subconscious.

Me, personally...I'd probably kill myself if I got a woman like my mother. I love my mother to life...but she is D definition of annoying. She will nag you to death...just so happens, I'm immortal. But really...there are qualities my mother possesses that I want in a companion; honesty, strong-will...you know...the usual things people look for in a companion.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 12:23 PM
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reply to post by Jibbs
 


that study might hold true for "normal" families but in my case i was blessed with a mother that couldn't stand me and so consequently i grew distant from her also.
someone like her would be the last person on earth i would want to marry and my wife is nothing like my mother who told us to get the last 3 times we visited with her 2 years ago because she suspected that we were trying to steal her money and her house.



posted on Sep, 4 2008 @ 07:08 PM
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Your all not to bright. The idea behind the study is that the characteristics that make your mother strong are the characteristics that help shape what kind of woman you pick out. If your mother is trashy you will probably get a trashy wife. Its about up bringing. Don't be so narrow minded when reading something.



posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 03:11 AM
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Hey it worked for Marty McFly

But seriously...No, I couldn't really pop the bird if she reminded me of my mother.



posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 07:04 AM
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ha ha well every guy i ever dated was an abusive asshole...just like my father!

the women i've been with, though, nothing like my mom.



posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 07:27 AM
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I am not sure this thread is true. How much did they stufy this before they went and gave findings.



posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 09:43 AM
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I'm sure this study was probably conducted by a very well-meaning but very stressed assistant professor in a "publish or perish" major university who was desparately trying to get enough scholarly work done to get tenure. The surveys will have been digilently administered by grad students hungry for their own degrees. I'm sure it was based on a diverse sampling of the general population and is therefore statistically valid.

Since the statistics are no doubt well vetted I think I can only agree with Mark Twain when he said...."There are lies, damned lies, and statistics."

[edit on 5-9-2008 by total_slacker]



posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 09:56 AM
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How is this NEW?


This was one of Freuds conclusions, and is rather evident.

It also extends beyond simple templating.


For example, 7 years ago when my wife at the time cheated on me, I began to hate women in general... most specificaly my mother.


When I later developed the best relationship I have ever had with another woman, my relationship with my mother also rose to the best it had been ever.

Theres a lot of truth to the song "Women seem wicked, when you're unwanted".


Once again though... this is all old hat... how is this news?



posted on Sep, 5 2008 @ 10:50 AM
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Originally posted by Quazga
Once again though... this is all old hat... how is this news?


I'm sure there are people who come to this site who have not heard of this theory. To them this must be news, must it not?




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