Honestly, Do You Want To Have Children Or Get Married?

To keep it short but not a oneliner:

Eventually I do want to have the experience of being married (do not get me wrong, I'd marry only for the right reasons!). Also I'd love to have kids before I am old enough for menopause. To me it is not that important if I'd have kids within a marriage or not..

reply to post by Scarlett Johanson


Is this THE Scarlett Johanson??

If so, I'll marry you immediately!

In all seriousness though, marriage is pretty much pointless these days. It costs a fortune - and then the divorce costs an even bigger fortune!

Co-habitation, all the way!

As for kids, I think I would love to have a child, but it would have to be with the right person. A girl who's my best friend in all the world - not one who betrays and backstabs me at every turn....

reply to post by MrdDstrbr


The Scarlett JohansSon spells the name with double S

When I first see a post of this person, I wondered too..

And then, I completely understand why that post was Off Topic, as even I felt intimidated by it..!

reply to post by asala

Kids! HECK YES!!! I love them! Maybe selfishly lol as I was brought up without a mother as she gave me up at 6 weeks old so maybe I just want to prove to myself that I can be the best mommy in the world, I know what I missed and I want to give my children all of that,

Asala, honey...I was adopted at 6 weeks old too.
My parents were career oriented. I was raised by babysitters. For the exact reason you gave, is why I have children now. A LOT of them. I always wanted a full dinner table. You would make a fabulous mom.

reply to post by Storm_Indigochild


Don't be intimidated by the beautiful blonde!
Don't be intimidated by the beautiful blonde!
....
[/mantra]

reply to post by MrdDstrbr


Nah, don't get me wrong, the Real Scarlet is a 'wonderfull' hollywood actress.. Just the post that was removed by this wrong name speller was intimidating to me

Originally posted by whatukno
Been there, done that, got the PTSD for it, thank you.

wuk you're hilarious dude.

In my case I have reached the age where having a kid (or several) just wouldn't be right for the kid. By the time that the kid grew up I'd be into retirement.

As far as marriage?

Well, perhaps to the right woman. This would come only after a long period of trust and getting to know the person very well. Trust and honesty are highly important to me.

I am not married. But I have one son (6 month old). If you asked me before some years, if I want to have kids. The answer would have been: NO. But I think the feeling for having kids changes with the time/ age. It is for sure one big responsibility. Now I am truly happy to be mother. My son is one big sunshine. Everyday he wakes up with one smile. That gives very much.

I would absolutely love to get married, unfortunately in the great state of Arkabillyville, us unholy heathens of the devil, are not allowed to marry.

As for kids, I would have never ever thought of having children, it just doesn't work for me...I don't have that whole 'maternal' thing going on.

But my girlfriend has two boys and so in that way I do have two kids now.

Who I love more than anything, even when they're destroying everything...jumping on/over/under the couch, painting masterpieces on the wall, setting cereal on fire with milk and in general driving me insane.:bnghd:

So I love having the kids, but as Ellen DeGeneres said about children:

"I would love to have children, I just don't want to have children. Just like I would love to have a new car, but I don't want to HAVE a new car!"

I would love to be married, but it is not totally up to me, I haven`t found the right person, and if I found her, then she would want to get married also, so I can`t give a definitive answer on the subject.

As far as children goes I had a terrible childhood and an abusive father, I don`t want no child of mine to feel the pain that I once felt, obviously I never had a good example to follow and therefore I don`t think that I would know how to set one.

But the response about children is linked to my first response, if the right person comes along, then I guess that my love for her would be more than enough to agree to have children if she would want to have them.

Complex answer I guess.

Marrige, Yes...

Kids, of course, got to pass on my good DNA...


Now the only question is?

Do i want to have a football team? Or a Basketball team?

I am happily married...6 years and going

I will never have kids...don't want em, don't need em, would be a horrible father

-Kyo

At this point in my life...

Marriage - Possibly...
Children - Not so much

Right now, I don't see myself getting married - I was engaged once - and that wasn't really what I expected. I probably WILL get married - but I don't feel as if its the most important life purpose of mine to accomplish. If it happens, it happens.

Children, I just don't see happening. By the time I'm finished school (about 8 years ish) I'll be in my 30's - Same as Q. If I end being a Psychologist - I have the possibility of getting married, and having kids, and running my practice from home.

If I end up being a Criminal Lawyer, that puts me into the category of "living at work and off of caffeine." A law firm won't want to hire a lawyer who is just going to go on Maternity leave within a couple years. I don't feel the overwhelming desire to be a mother - perhaps it comes later in life. There will probably be a signifigant other - but not a Family...I don't think so anyway. We'll see when I grow up and get a little wiser if I still feel the same way.

- Carrot

Honestly, life is short. I thought I found my future wife. I was with her for 4 years and she broke up with me last week.

I'm a loving guy, I want to get married and have kids, and I'd like to do it soon, even though I'm only 24. Now I just need to find a girl who has the same ability to unconditionally love and not leave me for a job.

People rush into it, for sure. But I've got a lifetime's worth of partying and being all about myself under my belt. I'm ready to share life with other people. I'll be a great dad and husband, that's just something I know, so I am not in the least bit afraid of either. In fact, I welcome the chance.

Originally posted by CA_Orot
At this point in my life...

Marriage - Possibly...
Children - Not so much

Right now, I don't see myself getting married - I was engaged once - and that wasn't really what I expected. I probably WILL get married - but I don't feel as if its the most important life purpose of mine to accomplish. If it happens, it happens.

Children, I just don't see happening. By the time I'm finished school (about 8 years ish) I'll be in my 30's - Same as Q. If I end being a Psychologist - I have the possibility of getting married, and having kids, and running my practice from home.

If I end up being a Criminal Lawyer, that puts me into the category of "living at work and off of caffeine." A law firm won't want to hire a lawyer who is just going to go on Maternity leave within a couple years. I don't feel the overwhelming desire to be a mother - perhaps it comes later in life. There will probably be a signifigant other - but not a Family...I don't think so anyway. We'll see when I grow up and get a little wiser if I still feel the same way.

- Carrot

Hey i dont feel as bad now, because I know i wont be only person in their 30's starting their career. I guess life really begins then! Funny thing is, I was also engaged which kinda freaked me off the marriage thing....and as for kids I have reasons due to career. And i'd feel bad if the wife (or girlfriend) couldnt follow her dreams and was at home looking after kids, unless thats what she wanted. But again, no kids for me..today i despised that Idea even more at work.

Parents divorce also scared me off marriage big time and kids. Also im a cynical career minded random guy who enjoys silent morning with a partner, couldnt hack kids jumping on the bed, crying...the shouting ! Right now my sisters yelling at each other...12 and 15 years old..they are just as loud as they where at 5!! And its the same every saturday morning....cant sleep in...at night is the only time i study cos its SILENT....

Now if i was 30, kids and just became a lawyer...id spend my weekend with my partner/wife and sleep in and go out (because week days will be too busy).....but if I had kids, i couldnt do this! So I believe the magic will die very very quickly and Id end up like my parents! I guess this is part of reality and its probably not as bad...it comes down to opinion. If you want kids you will like it, if your like me and saying no I want to just spend weekends and time getting to know my partner and spending time with her...I guess its no (also 5-6 years of study later, I think the first thing on my mind will be to be a lawyer and get paid!)


Sorry for the long rant! Oh well back to my studies!
PS - Lawyer and Psychologist, imagine if we got married! we could be those rich childless couples driving convertables in the mountains! Id feel like Pierce Brosnan...if he was shorter.

[edit on 19-8-2008 by q_ball]

I deffantly want to get married and have kids. I am the last remianing member of family blood and i desperately want to create an ofspring.

I have been married... now divorced. I really would not ever put myself through that again. It's not that it was a horrible experience, just not for me. However, I do have two children, that I absolutely adore... and they are what keep me strong, when everything around seems to fall apart.

There was a radio host in my area recently talking about the idea of a seven year marriage. He said that if you wanted to get married then the license should only be good for seven years, and if the two people liked how things were going then they could renew the license, if not then let the license expire. I think that would be a good idea... cut back on divorce, but then again... there are lots of marriages that don't even last that long

i still wanna believe that when you found "the one" marriage will be the most wonderful thing you can imagine. love the idea of growing old together.

at the moment for me thinking of marriage is the same feeling as if someone would stop me from breathing. not ready yet i guess.

i def wanna have kids - always loved kids...
i am 26 now, so i think i still got a little time left for all of that.

I would like to tie the knot someday but I have no interest in having kids . Parenting just doesn't appeal to me and besides my cat runs riot and gets away with it so I would hate to think what things would be like with kids .

Cheers xpert11 .