posted on Jul, 2 2008 @ 05:49 PM
We dont know the research protocol that was used. How do we know whether couples accurately scored their own mental states, let alone whether or not
they correctly attribute their happiness/misery to their kids or lack of same. Some prison camp survivors describe themselves as happy people; some
movies stars can't stay out of rehab.
I'm convinced that your happiness reflects your internal disposition, and your fundamental attitude toward life. I seriously doubt that your life is
hell ONLY because of someone else, especially when that person is not a full-fledged adult. Happiness is rarely a reaction to having everything "go
right" with your day.
Who says that kids are supposed to make you "happy"? There's a difference between happiness and satisfaction. I get a great deal of satisfaction
from my family. Even if I get a lot less sleep than I used to. I'm not happy with the loss of sleep, but I'm looking forward to vacation this year
like I haven't since I was a kid: some of the older ones are ready to go camping with dad for the first time! That will satisfy me, even if I miss
the happiness of catching fish, because I'm too busy baiting hooks and untangling reels and explaining how to spot the areas of slack current.
Happy? Not with the fish I will personally miss out on. Satisfied? yes, if the youngest one catches his first fish, I will be more satisfied than
you'll ever know.
The parents I know who are unhappy are that way because they are trying to be "nice" instead of good. They spoil their children, don't teach them
any manners or require any chores, and don't punish them in a way that alters negative behavior.
I'm proud of my kids. Even people who don't like kids enjoy ours. They are funny, intelligent, and well-mannered.
I'm not ashamed to say that I put more into my marriage, my family, than I get out of them. I didn't go into familihood to get as much out of them
as possible. I got married to build a life and a home with the woman of my dreams, my partner on life's journey. It's been a lot of work, but I'd
do it all over again, without question.
I wish we could afford to have even more kids than we have. As a matter of fact . . . . well, let's just wait and see.
I'll try to get Frau Dr. to post on here, although she claims to have forgotten her password. She'll give all the anti-breeders a huge laugh.