When Do I Get a Break???

Sorry if this is a boring post, but I gotta say it somewhere.

For several weeks now I have had to do most of the housework and work full time as usual. My wife has many ailments both physical and emotional.

Let me explain how my week has gone. Sun-Tues I worked full time, fixed dinner, cleaned house just a bit, did what ever needed to help my wife. Wed. I'm off work, spent most of the day at a hospital with my wife so they can run some test before her operation on Thurs. We have known about the operation to remove a disc in her neck for one month. At midnight Wed. night she decides to get get everything ready to go. I stayed up until 3am sorting her many meds, washing and packing clothes and whatever else she needed. Spent all day Thurs. and all night at the hospital. The operation went well. We went home early Friday afternoon. I wanted to get some sleep but had to go to pharmacy for wife. Since the operation my wife has been nothing but a zombie. I'm sure that will wear off eventually.

My point is she stesses the hell out of my most weeks and I have little time to relieve or find ways to relieve the stress. Our youngest daughter was nice enough to bring over dinner last nice.

Today is Saturday, I've been washing my laundry for work tomorrow. Cleaning a house that never gets clean otherwise. Still have laundry to hang up and a kitchen full of stinking dishes to wash before I eat anything beside a candy bar.

I'm stress in part because little free time and little money. I have nothing for another week for a real breakfast and I'm not sure what I'll take for lunch. Did I say my back is killing me too?

I'd go on but I don't have the free time to do so.

Howdy partner.

You already go toyur break. That's your wife. You got to understand that she appreciates what you're doing for her, and as a husband, try to understand that you are willing to have to go through what you are going through for the love of your wife.

I'd suggest that you politely ask for assistance from friends or family. If they say no, then you have to respect that. If they say yes, you have to respect that to, meaning that you shouldn't take advantage of them, and understand that they have their own to take care of as well.

Remember that your outlook on your predicament is what you determine it to be. Just don't be so negative. If you see it as a burden, then it's gonna be a burden. Just say" Hey, I'm doing this out of love for my wife", and it will be alright. You hang in there.

reply to post by AFunkySensation

Thank you for your kind words. I've got a little support from two others which will help a tiny bit.

It's just that I feel like I'm drowing, not getting a break to come up for air. My way of looking at it that it can be a bit tough since my back was hurt in a car accident earlier this year and I had a heart attack two years ago. My body doesn't need this stress.

It's hard for me not to be so negative. I've waited for a better life for many a year now and it seems just around the corner. Once I turn the corner all I get is ran over.

Sounds like you are in a terrible fix. I am sorrry for your wife's condition and pray she gets better.

I have somewhat limited physcial ability and am in pain 24/7 I have learned to make life as easy as possible. I use paper plates, paper cups and make lots of meals in a crock pot. I do at least one load of laundry each day and try to have "me" time everyday. Your needs are important too.

Are you getting enough rest? If not, that could add to your feeling down.

Wishing the best for you both,
Marilyn

reply to post by dizziedame

Thank you for your reply Marilyn. No I'm not getting enough rest. It's funny, that was my whole point of the post but I was too tired to mention it. Tonight I get to try to sleep as my wife snores and needs to get up every hour or so for the potty. I don't know if she is experiencing an overdose of the meds or what is going on. She will go back to the hospital if this continues much more.
How long does it usually take someone to be back to normal after a two hour operation anyway?

You are very welcome. I know you must feel helpless and like it will never get any better.

You said your wife snores and gets up every hour for the potty. Has she had a sleep test? I have sleep apnea. I snored and got up every hour also. I was so tired during the day because I wasn't getting any good rest.

My Dr. suggested I get a sleep test. It was determind that I did indeed have a sleep disorder.....sleep apnea. That very night I started using a c-pap machine to sleep with. It was very uncomfortable at first but now I won't even lay down without the c-pap mask on.

I sleep like a baby all night and get up about 6 hours after I go to bed to potty. I then go back to bed and sleep another couple of hours.

My hair has gotton thicker, my nails are really growing nicely, I feel so rested when I get up and life is so much better as I have energy to do things now. Oh, and no more snoring.

I just mentioned a few of the good results of using the c-pap. There are many more.

Just wanted to throw the idea out there for you to maybe research and see if you think it might be useful for your wife to be tested. It certainly
change my world for the better to find this problem and treat it so effectivily.

Dizzie

Yes, she has already had the sleep study done some time ago. The results showed that she does suffer from sleep apnea. Unfortunately Medicare does not consider the impairment level to be bad enough to provide treatment for it. She does have medication which otherwise helps the sleeping problem. It's just that the disc replacement has changed her sleeping habits a bit.
Over the past day or so she has seemed to be wearing off the side effects of the operation. She is able to be up and about a little more without help and her voice is comming back. She's not out of the woods yet, but at least she can see the green pasture from between the trees.

Well, I thought she was doing better. Once I finished the above note she passed out and fell in the dining room. :bnghd:

[edit on 14-11-2007 by Sanity Lost]