What would you ask an Alien?

1. How big is your probe?

2. Do you have marijuana?

3. Can I still come anyway?

I would first ask, so you guys talk like this telepathically to us, so you can hear me think?

We hear there are 57 species identified, which one would you describe yourself?

I am not freaked out by you, just so you know, but i am wary, you understand?

You guys have emotions too dont you, you feel and think just like us, you also have fears?

I am a pretty violent guy,

I'll ask "who's your daddy?"

While the aliens are standing around looking confused and/or are bluring out some weird answer, I'll sock them. (punch them)

and then ask: "Who's your Daddy, Now b****?" ..... whahahaaaa This is quite a possible method to commit suicide, getting vaporised or both...

Seriously?

I'll introduce myself and ask them why they have come and if there was anything I can help them with, besides bending over and surrendering myself for an anal probe.....

[edit on 4-3-2007 by ixiy]

I would ask him how I can time travel if its possible

1) Please don't probe me!!!

2) My girlfriend has been asking me for breast implants..You think maybe you guys could help me out?

3) So is it true what them Greys have been saying about you Reptillians?

[edit on 3/4/2007 by gotanybob]

"Do you have any sisters?"

"What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

"Do you have a flag?"

etc..

"What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

Would that be an African or European swallow??

1. Why have you kept yourselves quiet?
2. Are You God? If so why are we here?
3. Where do you come from, how long to get here?
4. Can you save this planet before we destroy it?
5. Are you going public to the world (Maybe to go with 1. as well)

I think these questions; in my opinion are the most important questions to ask. God made us intelligent, i want to know these questions. I have a right to know!!. :-)

I'd say

1. how was mankind created?
2. can i have a ray-gun?
3. whats your planet like? + can you take me there?
4. are there any other colors? + can you show me them?
5. why wont you tell the world about your existence?
and
6. what do you do with the people you abducted?

i think they are the most important questions.
and i would only ask them if i didn't faint or get killed

Good questions everyone.

I liked the comment about fainting.

I have to admit that it's always easier to think up questions when you're not having the experience.

You know how you can rethink a situation and the thought occurs "I should have said----"

I'd most likely just babble and they'd think that they found a planet of simpletons.

I'd ask them what the oldest known civilization is, where it is, and how old it is, and is other civilizations are a result of transpermia from this civilization, or unique.

I'd also ask them if they know anything about the universe repeatedly expanding and contracting, and if so, how many times they believe it has happened.

If i got abducted and taken off to visit "home world".... Frequent flyer points definitely......

Or how about asking them to "steam clean" your aura....
That would be nice... that way I could instantly raise the level of my conciousness unhindered by years and a few lifetimes of accumulated auric slurry...

I wouldn't mind borrowing an x-ray device that sees through casino cards. Knowing when to fold would be so much easier!

If your going to ask for a divice to give you some physical edge you couldnt go past a time freezing device....
Man if you were a practical joker the possibilities would be endless.....
Every time some one p-ed you off you could just freeze time... give them a wedgie.....operation..... big success!.....

"Can I get a lift?" has already been used so on to the real questions:

Where are you from? (and can I keep the map?) Is everywhere this f***ed up?

Can you take me on a ride? Can I drive? Just to the Moon and back. BTW, how'd it get there and does it have bases? And what's the deal with Saturn?

Do you believe in God? Have you met Him? If so, what's He like? How old is He?

Explain how your craft functions. How fast does it go? Ever have accidents? Do you need a license to fly it?

Tell me the true history of the earth and of humankind. BTW, what killed off the dinosaurs?

Do we have a soul and do we reincarnate? Does that include Dick Cheney?

How old is the universe? What is its purpose? How many are there?

Can you travel through time? Was Tesla right?

How many intelligent races are there? What is the political structure of the universe? How many dimensions are there?

How old do you live? What do you eat? Are you hungry? Maybe we could get a bite to eat...

[edit on 29-3-2007 by gottago]

Non-humanoid eh? Oscar Kilo. And they killed my good car's electronics? Sally-forth with Louisville and Desertmaster and Scuba knife.

1) Do you understand the concept of retribution?

2) Do you like physical violence?

3) What is your general malfunction?

4) Can you "hear" me?

5) Ever been to a barbeque as a celebrity-guest-flavour?

6) Do you have a patch for Steven Macon Greer?

I'd ask "Is this life as I know it the only one for me?"

i wud ask 'em da reason Y deY interested in our planet so much !