Is greed brought on by parents?

[[ I noticed there was no sociology/behaviour section, so I guessed education to be the next best area ]]

I have a 1 year old daughter, who I am very proud of... very smart and all that, and already a little biker

Anyway, I was sitting there, eating some cookies and giving her pieces (because the cookie is too big for her) and had a thought~~~~

Most of us will agree that our idols are what shape us, especially in our younger years. That's why [responsible] parents know not to show their kids certain things, and to teach them other things...

Greed - as well all know - is the want for MORE. Bigger, faster, more powerful... you name it. But not everyone is greedy. Why is that? We can't honestly say that we don't want more money, or a bigger TV.

Who, may I ask you, is an infant's idol? Well, there's Big Bird (Sesame Street) of course, but the main idol is, of course, the infant's parents. So as my daughter sits there, holding this little piece of cookie - which she sees me breaking off and giving to her - she compares hers, and that of her idols. She wants to be like her idol. She wants bigger.

It can be seen at dinner time. She doesn't want to drink milk. She wants what we have. She wants meat, rice, bread... everything.

What do you think? Are parents guilty of making their children greedy?

Greed - as well all know - is the want for MORE. Bigger, faster, more powerful... you name it. But not everyone is greedy. Why is that? We can't honestly say that we don't want more money, or a bigger TV.

I'm sorry x08

Everyone is greedy, just some more than others.
Everyone is greedy, just for different things.

Avarice, is my opinion, is the worst human trait.
Avarice is our "Achillies Heel"

The world would be a better place if we were able to eliminate greed but humans by nature are greedy animals!
Nothing will change that!

Anyone who say's they are not greedy, also in my opinion, is a liar!

MR

[edit on AMTue, 9 Jan 2007 07:25:47 -060047e by Marlborough Red]

I also have a daughter,almost 15 months,she too wants what we eat at suppertime instead of her baby food.She is very bullheaded,like her mom lol.I believe parents are a HUGE influence on kids.I always idolized my dad.He was the kindest man I have ever known.If i can be half the father he was then my little girl should be okay.I think alot of kids idolize their parents as long as the mom and dad show alot of love.Just my 2 cents.

I think we tend to notice other people's greed more than we do our own.

Wanting things is what motivates people. Most technological "progress" has come by someone wanting a better mousetrap, and someone else trying to meet that need (for money).

Like any impulse, too much of a good thing is where the problem starts.


deciding that someone else is greedy is sort of like me telling you what kind of car you should be driving, or what level of education you should be "satisfied" with.

It's always easy to tell other people how they're doing it wrong.


all the best.

.

im no expert, but, i think the want of a child to be, and do, what the parents have, and are doing is natural.

its natures way of teaching the young how to survive.

"monkey see monkey do"

she is learning how to be a person. all kids want to grow up to fast. i dont think it is any different with babies.
when my wife and i are brushing our teeth in the morning, my 9 mo. old son is chewing on a toothbrush and looks at us, to see how we are doing it.
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i forget the ratio, but, kids learn more from parents, then enviroment, then school.

like i said though, im no expert.

when they are younger, they want what we want, they want to be like us. When they get older they either continue on that course or they become very different from us. It's a form of rebellion to some degree.

That said, what we do and say around our kids has a very lasting impact and, as such, we need to be very careful with out actions or we can totally screw up their fragile minds.

My daughter has displayed an incredible sense of humor from a very early age. She totally understands sarcasm and has for a while now (she's 4). More so than my wife. My son, who is one and a half and can barely speak, tries to do everything I do. He will walk over to my fish tank and hoist up the gallon jugs of water, pretending to add to the tank like I do. It's hysterical to watch but it's scary as hell too.

My wife caught my daughter just before she attempted to shave her legs.

If you teach your children greed via example, they will emulate you in their own way. They won't share with other kids, they won't get along well in play groups.

My daughter is an incredibly giving child. I've watched as she has given away a whole bag of gummy bears to her friends, leaving none for herself. When asked why she says "because my friends wanted them and I don't want them to be sad."

My son, on the other hand, has been learning from us AND the kids that come over for playdates with him and with his sister. He often feels left out when it is his sister and her friends playing and he will try and grab things so he can be included. As a result, he tends to get upset easily if he doesn't have the same things as the other kids.

Kids are a blast and they give us so much joy. The very least we can do is not screw them up with our own twisted ethics and morals.

Having closely observed numerous children through from babyhood to adulthood, it's my opinion that Nature, rather than Nurture determines most human characteristics.

Years ago, I did not believe this. I believed children learned from example and that parents could mold their children as if they were clay.

In the early years, children generally regard their parents as god-like but this does change, particularly post puberty.

Unfortunately, children are basically the result of whichever genes they inherited. If a child inherits largely undesirable genes, the best parenting in the world can do little more than apply a surface gloss. Animal breeders are aware of this. Parents are more optimistic.

But, if people accepted the situation, they'd be far less inclined to produce offspring. So the dance (and often disappointment) continues.

Greed is a personality trait. Some are naturally greedy. Parents can do little to change the situation. Sure, in the early years they might succeed in curbing a child's greed because they are authority figures and the child -- being dependent on it's parents -- might wish to please them.

When free to follow its own inclinations however, the naturally-greedy child-become-adult will usually revert to greed impulses automatically.

I don't agree that all humans are greedy, just as I don't agree that all humans are generous. All humans are not aggressive. All humans are not passive.

We feed two cats owned by less than conscientious neighbours who claims the cats are 'brothers'. We feed them liberally, several times a day. We initially placed their individual food-dishes reasonably close together. One of the cats is incurably greedy. It attempts to cover both food dishes with its body. It eats from one whilst placing its rear over the other dish. If the second, more passive cat attempts to eat from either dish, the first cat reacts aggressively.

We attempted to resolve the situation by widely separating the two food dishes. This resulted in the greedy cat dashing from one dish to the next.

We next decided to let the greedy cat eat its fill before feeding the second cat. But the greedy cat still darted in and although sated, it insisted on eating the other cat's food, even if this caused the greedy cat to vomit.

Now, we have no option other than to physically prevent the greedy cat from taking all the food.

Once both cats have eaten, the greedy cat is content to sit and groom within inches of the second cat, indicating the problem is not one of territory, etc.

The greedy cat is otherwise very likeable and has a lot of good qualities. It's just greedy.

Some humans are the same. They may be sociable, entertaining, good workers, clean, good sense of humor, etc. They also happen to be greedy. It's part of their genetic inheritance and even though they may control their greed-impulses at times, it's with great conscious effort. They might realise (at the time or afterwards) that they are behaving or did behave greedily and (because of earlier parental influence) may even feel guilty or depressed about their behaviour. Invariably though, despite realising that greed is not socially acceptable behaviour, they will nevertheless continue to behave greedily because, in colloquial terms: 'that's the way they're wired' in the same way some are hot-tempered, some violent, some chronically depressed, etc.

Occasionally, within a family of generally greedy people, a non-greedy individual will emerge. And often, within a generally non-greedy family will emerge someone who is naturally greedy lifelong.

Some almost-saintly individuals have emerged from within truly ghastly families. When it comes to genes, it's just pot-luck. At the moment.

Well, everything, as you suggest, does indeed begin with the parents. Part of this cultures' problem is that in matters dealing with greed, violence or what ever it may be, we are always looking for other explanations other than the obvious.

"Oh, it's the violence on t.v." Or, "It's the music they listen to." Or, "Maybe it's the things that they read." Like anyone reads anymore.

When in all truthfulness, society's ills starts in the home with the parent. You cannot convince me that it is otherwise. It's all about upbringing. If a child has good standards set for themas a child, they are likely to have good standards as an adult.

[edit on 9-1-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

[edit on 9-1-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

[edit on 9-1-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

Originally posted by Dock6
Some humans are the same. They may be sociable, entertaining, good workers, clean, good sense of humor, etc. They also happen to be greedy. It's part of their genetic inheritance and even though they may control their greed-impulses at times, it's with great conscious effort. They might realise (at the time or afterwards) that they are behaving or did behave greedily and (because of earlier parental influence) may even feel guilty or depressed about their behaviour. Invariably though, despite realising that greed is not socially acceptable behaviour, they will nevertheless continue to behave greedily because, in colloquial terms: 'that's the way they're wired' in the same way some are hot-tempered, some violent, some chronically depressed, etc.

I don't totally disagree. I don't think the nature versus nurture question is an either/or proposition. I've heard it described that our minds are composed of mental modules that determine how we behave. I think heredity determines how open and closed these modules are to modification by environmental input and nurture.

Didn't Louis Winthorp and Billy Ray Valentine prove the nature vs. nurture theory?

Originally posted by Marlborough Red

Greed - as well all know - is the want for MORE. Bigger, faster, more powerful... you name it. But not everyone is greedy. Why is that? We can't honestly say that we don't want more money, or a bigger TV.

I'm sorry x08

Everyone is greedy, just some more than others.
Everyone is greedy, just for different things.

Avarice, is my opinion, is the worst human trait.
Avarice is our "Achillies Heel"

The world would be a better place if we were able to eliminate greed but humans by nature are greedy animals!
Nothing will change that!

Anyone who say's they are not greedy, also in my opinion, is a liar!

MR

greed (grēd) Pronunciation Key
n. An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth: "Many . . . attach to competition the stigma of selfish greed" (Henry Fawcett).
Source

There is a big difference between desire and greed. There are many things that I would like to have, but reality dictates that unless my financial situation changes I probably will never have them. However, if I were greedy, I wouldn’t care that I can’t afford these things and would find a way to get them. This is how criminals operate.

I suppose if I were greedy, I would use the money that I usually give to charities to buy things for me. There is nothing wrong with desire. Greed is desire out of control. Happiness is not dependant on having what you want but in wanting what you have.

Why do 'good' families produce 'black sheep' ?

The below is from espn.go.com it states why the NHL has the best pro athletes...and it fits your thread


sports.espn.go.com...

One reason hockey players are considered so down to earth and approachable is because of the example they received from their parents. To be a hockey parent is to be a selfless person who thinks of others (in this case, your children) first. When it is all said and done, I will have spent about $20,000 just in hockey dues for my boys. That doesn't include equipment, gas, and hot chocolate purchases. While the monetary aspect can't fully be realized by children, the sacrifice made by their parent or parents is. Actions speak louder, and last longer, than words. The most important word in the English language: love. The second most important: sacrifice. Hockey, in more cases than any other sport, teaches love and sacrifice. For the record, the third most important word in the English language: cheese.

I believe like most other qualities, the apparent greediness of a person is a combination of nature versus nurture, but every person has the capacity to be greedy because the brain is a desire/greed/worry machine. Some may point to a religious figure and remark how unselfish that person is, but they have IMHO switched from greed for this world to greed for the next.

The only way a person can distance themselves from greed is to stop identifying with the collection of thoughts and experiences that accumulate in the memory, and make an effort to identify with that basic non-judgmental witness of our thoughts and feelings. Afterall, I cannot actually BE anything that I can see, because I am the witness.

This, however, is heresy to anyone who is wholely identified with their collection of thoughts and memories, which is almost everyone. Thus, I don't see any end to the pain and suffering caused by greed anytime soon.

Originally posted by crowpruitt
I believe parents are a HUGE influence on kids.

And then about age 5, the school systems take over indoctrinating the kids into believing that they should expect to receive something from the government for doing nothing. Then when they reach their mid-teens, they have that lesson reinforced by seeing the government actually doing that in the case of welfare for illegal immigrants and able-bodied U.S. citizens. Teaches them that there's no need to work for a living, just have someone show you where the end of the local welfare line is at.

And do we want to mention the effect that TV and other media has on kids from a very early age - when it is often used as a "baby sitter"? Perhaps that helps create criminals by constantly showing them new, expensive, shiny "toys" that they soon realize they can never have by standing in the welfare line. What to do about that? Go to work and earn the money? No! Easier to cheat and/or steal ...

[edit on 1/9/2007 by centurion1211]

I agree that greed is everyone's problem. Although, I don't think that everyone who wants a better TV and such is necessarily greedy. I do think that culturally we emulate people who have an excess of material wealth; at the expense of emulating those who represent spiritual wealth.

Greed is a defect of character that's inherent to the human condition. Some children learn to moderate it, so that it is not destructive to themselves and others - from their parents. Some don't learn the self-evaluation and empathy required to happily negotiate their instinctive needs.

I think there is a historical pathology in the power structures that have created human empires. The wealth and power required for these structures has become the most sought after ideal. That dichotomy between wealth of material and spiritual wealth is reflected in the 'moral authority' we tend to ascribe to native American respect for the land and the traditions that lived more in harmony with it.

I think it was Sitting Bull who said something to the effect that greed among the white men was like a sickness and they all had it.

Originally posted by centurion1211

Originally posted by crowpruitt
I believe parents are a HUGE influence on kids.

And then about age 5, the school systems take over indoctrinating the kids into believing that they should expect to receive something from the government for doing nothing. Then when they reach their mid-teens, they have that lesson reinforced by seeing the government actually doing that in the case of welfare for illegal immigrants and able-bodied U.S. citizens. Teaches them that there's no need to work for a living, just have someone show you where the end of the local welfare line is at.

And do we want to mention the effect that TV and other media has on kids from a very early age - when it is often used as a "baby sitter"? Perhaps that helps create criminals by constantly showing them new, expensive, shiny "toys" that they soon realize they can never have by standing in the welfare line. What to do about that? Go to work and earn the money? No! Easier to cheat and/or steal ...

Which brings it right back around to the parents -- who become totally responsible for showing the child another way of living! Easier does not mean better, and just because you _can_ do something, doesn't necessarily mean you _should_...

If children were taught morals and critical thinking, they might have half a shot at realizing the fault in this 'gimme gimme gimme' fuzzed out 'logic'. Otherwise, with the parents choosing to leave them with the tv-babysitter, the child's chances of realizing another way of living becomes much slimmer...

I have been a teacher for 5 years now. I taught young children for 4 of those years, and this year I was offered a job teaching junior and senior high school.

As a teacher, I am well aware how much influence the parents have in a child's life. But influencing positive in one way can create negatives in others. Teaching independence for example, can inhibit teamwork ability - while the opposite is also true as they will become too dependant on their partners.

Teachers are also a large influence.

One of my most memorable students was Morris. At 5 years old, he could rattle off names of multiple countries in English, point at their flags and show me where most of them were on a map. Note that English is his second language, as I live in Taiwan. He was the sweetest, kindest and smartest little man you would ever meet. But he was a 'pussy' (for use of a word)... he was terrified of even the smallest things. Even just being picked up for a hug was a moment of sheer horror. But, through guidance by myself (his mother had no idea what to do) he slowly became braver - even brave enough to sit on a (babie's) roller coaster.

But back to my original statement, do you think that an infant - seeing how much more their parents have - could develop greed from that?

Well you sound like an excelent parent honestly, I think your kid will be in good hands.

From what I have simply observed (in my opinion) is that kids go wrong in a few ways.

1. To strict. The kid will want to rebell.. and I think some kids are born with this as a personality.

2. Not strict enough, also with this would be spoiling, which I think is the second worst thing you can do to a child. They will want everything, the it's all about me kind of kid. They don't make good adults either.

3. Abuse. Obviously abuse reflects horribly on a child, all kinds of social and mental not to mention health problems.. they often do the same to their children.

4. Allowing society to raise your child. The TV is not a parent.

But then again it can all go back to personality. When I was a baby I was quiet, never cried, I prefered to play by my self and had a fascination with books. My parents had absolutly nothing to do with that, and as an adult I still have every single one of those traits. My sister has children, one is a quiet child, very small, helps out around my sisters house, all around good kid. Her sister is a little bigger and the biggest @#^ I have ever met. Honestly, horrible. My sister did not raise her differently but she steals, she lies, her favorite word is no and her method of greeting her uncle (me) is to kick me and tell me she hates me (its mutual)

Showing your kid right and wrong, explaining things they do not understand .. don't talk to them like a child when they see evils in the world.. tell them how it is, but why it is, how to avoid it. Wisdom can be passed down, while experience will be what builds your childs character, the mistakes she makes and how she learns from them, you can from early on install the sense of what will be the good desicion, so that when she is in trouble and your not around she chooses good.

Parenting can only go so far. Greed is in my opinion reflected by the spoils you give your child, how much television (my children will not be allowed to watch TV unless it is a movie with the family) because the pop culture cess pool in the world can easily polute and waste a mind.

Also, one of the most bonding moments of a childs life is a book. Reading to your children builds a connection, builds confidence in the relationship, builds intelect and is just a nice thing to do, to read to your child.

Just my opinions.

Wow. IMO these last several posts have been great, and offer some hope that good parenting still exists out there. I've seen too many parents caught up in the trend where they feel they can't say no to their kids out of fear their kids won't be their "friends". In fact, kids need to know that there are limits - they just keep testing you to find out where they are.