Is greed brought on by parents?

Originally posted by centurion1211
Wow. IMO these last several posts have been great, and offer some hope that good parenting still exists out there. I've seen too many parents caught up in the trend where they feel they can't say no to their kids out of fear their kids won't be their "friends". In fact, kids need to know that there are limits - they just keep testing you to find out where they are.

Me being a good parent is something I blame on my parents~ They were great and showed me what it means to be a great parent. Being a teacher also opens one's eyes further, as you can see and compare the children/parent combination and see for yourself how they are affected. In my opinion, if you don't want to be a [good] parent, then why bother having kids at all?

I don't believe the parents are raising thier child to be greedy. As with the example of the cookie. Children operate on the ID. The id according to freud is the basic need component of our brains. A child sees and wants regardless. If the parent has a cookie no matter the size the child wants the cookie too and so forth.

As the child grows the id takes a back seat and the second part of the personality emerges which is the ego. This stage the child learns about others needs outside their own (id). This is the moment where the parent needs to teach the child about others and others feelings and needs.

Lastly to develope is the superego which is the moral part of us and develops due to the moral and ethical restraints placed on us by our caregivers.

A child will as it grows learns it's parents behavior. For example if your daughter sees you buying everything without constraint whenever you go into a store or you buy her a toy everytime you take her to a store you are teaching her that she will get something everytime she goes. As you are not holding back in what you buy she is seeing that she can have whatever she wants.
This may not be true but in her mind that's what it amounts to.

But if you are telling her that no we cannot have a toy everytime we go shopping you are teaching her that toys are for special occasions. We as parents mostly do this.

I personally believe that greed primarily comes from outside sources. Most parents are conscientious about teaching principals to our kids.
TV for instance is a huge motivator for greed because it targets certain audiences.
It actually targets every audience but with different products.

Different parental approaches could certainly assist in the process of growing a "greedy" child, but there are several studies that would indicate otherwise. The Colorado Adoption Project has been studying adoptive & non-adoptive children since the early 1970's. Over time they have seen a trend to say that our personality, temperament, etc., are all predominately influenced by our genetics. It is their belief that our intelligence and speech development are predominately influenced by our environment.

In the study, adoptive children were found to share the same intelligence as their guardians, while their temperament was common with the biological parents.

Kind of makes you wonder, if you think about it.

If our genetics have determined our personality well before our birth, does the approach our parents take even matter? I would have to agree that what we do as parents is certainly going to influence our children, but the argument can be made for the negative on this topic. Disheartening to say the least, it would leave the parents as more of a spectator than anything after conception.

I believe that children need to taste a little bit of everything, as long as it is in moderation. We all need a little bit of good and bad in our life, moderation is the key. If we give in to every cry of the child, they are going to put the idea of getting what they want with the act of sulking, crying, etc. Children need to know restraint and that they are not always going to get what they want.

Indulgent parents often lead to spoiled children which can directly translate into greedy. Not every spoiled child is greedy, as some are grateful for their benefits, but not all.

I think greed is part of human nature, however, some people can control it, and some can't. It also has to do with humans living next to each other in an environment where each one has their own goods.

For example, imagine the poorest people in the world. You give one $100, and to that person it seems like a huge fortune. However, now, you give $1000 to someone else. The first person mind now expanded the 'maximum' or limit to $1000 and his $100 doesn't seem so much anymore...

What I'm getting at is similar when a hockey player scores x number of goals in a season. He set the new limit. All future players will focus on breaking that limit. As soon as one does, the previous maximum or limit has lost it's effectiveness.

quintar,

A portion of your post is being confused with "ambition". If you achieve a certain goal, and I make it my business to top that goal, I do not believe it is a form of greed. I think it would be ambitious for an individual to make strides to achieve a goal set by another individual at a previous date. I do agree that a certain amount of greed can be expected in the individual, but I do not believe it is an innate behaviour. I think greed is certainly a learned behaviour is without a doubt a conditioned response.

So is greed brought on by parents? Well in part yes, but at the same time it can be brought on by their peers.

Greed is not an innate behaviour. Children are not born greedy. They have to learn it from someone. Whether it is their parents, peers, etc., somebody inflicts this onto them.

Originally posted by chissler A portion of your post is being confused with "ambition". If you achieve a certain goal, and I make it my business to top that goal, I do not believe it is a form of greed.

Quite possibly, I'm being picky here, but I see a difference, specifically in mindset.

If you achieve a certain goal, then one must consider my mindset when deciding to top that goal -- am I trying to undermine your achievement, and in some way take it away from you? Or is it a matter of competition?

Likewise, envy may be considered ambitious. I envy your position (or reputation, or financial status, whatever). It strikes me that while envy & greed may serve as a 'motivation' to progress, neither path is the most correct way to go about bettering oneself.

If I envy someone of their grades (let's say), and I decidedly work towards getting a better gpa than that person, then my mindset is in the wrong -- I am not seeking to get a better gpa because I wish to reap the benefits of having good grades (i.e. grants, scholarships, resume), or the education itself (which is arguably more precious than any 'grade label'), but because I have (admitted or not) little to no respect for that person, and wish to, in effect, steal the spotlight away.

If I have urges/feelings of being greedy, then to what extent am I going to take that? When is 'enough' enough? (This, I think, is the inherent problem with being greedy -- it becomes very hard to say 'enough'... be it with money or material possessions, there is always the very real danger of inviting avarice (intentionally or not) because of this urge to secure 'a better future'...)

In the end, I do not think that envy or greed, in any form, is benign or helpful -- while I may not do any obvious harm to another (aside from lack of respect -- which might very well lead to other behaviors that may inflict harm), I am harming myself by the mindset... if I manage to outdo one person in gpa status, then I'll be more apt to want to outdo someone else in something else -- not for the benefit of personal achievement, but for the benefit of my own selfish desire to be better than someone else.


Ambition is all well and good, but the reasons must be well aimed, otherwise the consequent actions will be askew.

I do agree that a certain amount of greed can be expected in the individual, but I do not believe it is an innate behaviour.

IF greed is innate, then it's roots are in the instinct center of the (reptilian) brain. While we may always have greedy urges, this does not mean that we have to act on them.

IF greed is not innate, then it's roots are in society. Methinks the same applies as above, that we do not have to act on them. However, to fight such a fight is very tough... but not necessarily unworthy.