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Parody Cult Says World will End July 5th, 2006

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posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 06:48 PM
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"OMG" this is not a cult rather than a well thought out, percisely planned scam on all who are gullable enough to buy into something while sending thier hard earned money to a post office box. People please, scams are now becoming even more complex with the internet at hand, remember the ads that used to be in the newspapers, send $30 to a PO BOX to get your finacially freedom kit on how to eliminate debt and become finacially sound, well for $30 dollars you recieved a piece of paper basically saying "if you too run this ad you will become rich!!! ummm is thier more I should say, remember "cults" if true do not advertise, create videos or even try to recruit outside of thier own network of friend and family.


Just my thoughts....

Be careful and really check something out before posting about a cult especially as ignorant as this.

justmytype




posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 06:57 PM
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oh that info was absolutely hilarious... lmao

they are decendents of the YETI?? lol

From the Wiki info, X day was 5 July, 98... either way, they are out by a few years but July must be significant... lol



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 07:15 PM
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This just in, the church of "Dur Dee durrr" had said that the wolrd when end on April 12th when the crackmoney God Oblivious comes down on its pink tricycle, from the sky, and casts the planet down in a reign of fecal matter, for 30 days untill the earth it covered.

e.e



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 07:18 PM
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Our world takes alot of punishment, ok, I doubt we have to worry about the whole planet comming to a end, anytime soon, untill a jupiter sized astroid hits, or the sun engulfs us, but untill then, we will only have the WORLD END AS WE KNOW IT! now with that said, i hope the saucer people come an take bob, the nekkidites, and rest of the porn hungry soicaly-Iggnits, an crash land into the sun, or a celestrial body thereof with the same or greater power to destroy them....
Thank you, Holly-OoooooooYEah!


"Please Peddle Yer Warez Elsewhere, Or im calling the cops!"



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 07:54 PM
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Wasn't the world supposed to end at midnight jan 1st 2k. Oh wait i forgot prophecies rarely come true and neither will this one.



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 07:55 PM
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Originally posted by Justmytype
remember the ads that used to be in the newspapers, send $30 to a PO BOX to get your finacially freedom kit on how to eliminate debt and become finacially sound, well for $30 dollars you recieved a piece of paper basically saying "if you too run this ad you will become rich!!!
justmytype


Now that scam is cold, but not as cold as the one that promised the end to stuttering, guaranteed to cure stuttering, 100% effective in the cure for stuttering, just send $10.00 to recieve the cure.

A person who stuttered would send in the $10.00 and then receive a letter that said, "Keep your mouth shut stupid."

Be wary of all great claims my friends, They are usually backed by scam artists.



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 08:28 PM
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Hopeful people will just get smart........

[edit on 6-4-2006 by Tranceopticalinclined]



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 08:44 PM
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Originally posted by Tranceopticalinclined
Hopeful people will just get smart........

[



Tranceopticalinclined, that's what I keep hopeful for two.

What do you suggest we do to get smart? School, Correspondence courses, gurus, tutors, travel to foreign lands, What?

You're smart, what did you do?

One thing I learned that I think is pretty smart; "If you can't swim; stay out of the deep end"



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 10:09 PM
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Come on how bad can this group be? Clothing optional, sounds good to me, I wish that I could go everywhere with footwear optional, but unfortunately society deems this wrong, I can't even where my damn sandals to the pub!!!! Then I got kicked out for saying, "well, if sandals were good enough for Jesus then they're damn well good enough for the tavern!"

Its a cruel sick sad world when a man is forced to wear enclosed footwear.

PS Did anyone read "Bob's" declaration? Recorded in the late 70's.

"I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the *expletive deleted* gods out of my *nose*! Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I've been casting out the False Prohets; I'm busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a *loaf*! For I speak *only* the #ing *Truth*, and never in my days have I spoken other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including this very one you hear! I say, `#'em if they can't take a joke!' By God, `Anything for a laugh', I say. I am the last remaining Homo Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future! I'll drive a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the *first* god damn water! Yes, I'm the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars! I drank the *Devil* under seven tables, I am too *intense* to die, I'm insured for acts o' God *and* Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews from a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps! I *cannot* be tracked on radar! I wear nothing uniform, I wear *no* god damn uniform! Yes baby, I'm 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the Anti-Virgin a high-protien tonsil wash!

I'm a bacteriological weapon, I *armed* and *loaded*! I'm a fission reactor, I fart plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug *me* in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds in zero gravity, *come and get me*! I've sired retarded space bastards across the Cosmos, I cook and *eat* my dead; YAH-HOOOO, I'm the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil's hands are my *ideal* playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think *backwards*! I do it for *fun*! My imagination is a *#ing* cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me! The say a godzillion is the highest number there is. Well by God! I count to a godzillion and *one*! Yes, I'm the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I use a python for a prophylactic; I'm *thicker, harder* and *meaner* than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I'll freeze *your* seed before it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made *Time* wait up for me to bleed my lizard! My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my *spoor* on the Rock of Ages, *who'll tear flesh with me, who'll spill their juice? Who'll gouge with me, whose candle will I fart out? Whoop! I'm ready!* So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o' wimp meat! I'm a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane!

I'm a screamer and a laugher, I make a *spectacle* of myself, I am a *sight*! My physical type *cannot* be classified by science, my `familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed it dip#s! I communicate without *wires* or *strings*! I am a Thuggee, I am feared in the Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag; I swam the *Bermuda Triangle* and didn't get wet! I circumcize dinosaurs with my teeth and make 'em leave a tip; I change tires with my *tongue* and my *tool*! Every night I hock up a lunger and extinguish the *Sun*! I'm the bigfooted devil of Level 14, who'll try to blow me down? I've packed the brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates are the *mass* of my religion, *I take drugs*! Yes, I'm a rip-snorter, I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins before they're picked off the *tree*! *Space* monsters cringe at my tread! I wipe the *Pyramides* off my shoes before I enter *my* house. I'm *fuel-injected*, I'll live forever and remember it afterwords! I'm *immune*! I'm *radioactive*! Come *on* and give me cancer, I'll spit up the tumor and butter my *bread* with the juice! *I'm supernatural*, I bend *crowbars* with my meat ax and a thought! My droppings bore through the earth and erupt *volcanoes* in *China*! Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen *Hindoos* in Asia! YEEE HAW! *Gut Blowout*!

I am a *Moray Eel*, I am a *Komodo Dragon*, I am the *Killer Whale bereft of its pup*! I have a triple backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me *all* your Slack! I told *Jesus* I wouldn't go to church and He *shook my hand*! I have my *own* personal saviors, I change 'em every hour, I don't give a # if there's life after death, I want to know if there's even any #ing *Slack* after death! I am a god damn *visionary*, I see the future and the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat *black holes* for breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle my DNA with the sheer force of my mighty *will*! I steer my *own* god damn evolution! I ran 'em out of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a *profit*! I'm enlightened, I achieved `Nirvana' and took it *home* with me. *Yip, yip, YEEEEEEE!* I'm so ugly the Speed of Light can't slow me down and Gravity won't tug at my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait! They'll *never* clean *my* cage! Now give me some more of..."


Not quite Crowleys level, but interesting nonetheless.


[edit on 6-4-2006 by DrBones666]



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 11:32 PM
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Now why on Earth should the world end on a Wednesday?


How lame is that?



posted on Apr, 6 2006 @ 11:38 PM
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Originally posted by WolfofWar
This just in, the church of "Dur Dee durrr"


Oh man Wolf, I about fell out of my chair!!

"the church of the Dur Dee durr" Ha ha haaaaaaa!

huh....huh....huh.....can't........breathe........must.......stop........laff.....





posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 12:52 AM
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Ah come on! Can't we PLEASE reschedule for late July, or even early August? My birthday is in July and I wanna see 32. Pleasepleaseplease can we reschedule?



posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 04:04 AM
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ok, i gotta ask - when was the last time one of these cults had there timing right?

oh, and this time do we gotta stare at da sun or drink Kool-Aid? i much prefer da Kool-Aid, even with cyanide it is still slightly thirst quinching.

i need specifics. you know, like, am i waitin' on an UFO, or is the virgin mary gonna appear to me and help me ascend to heaven?

these cults are so hard to figure out...
i've already given all my money to da cult, not to mention my trust fund, my property and my children. ok, just da girls, my raggedy-haired prophet doesn't seeming intrested in 'saving' the adolescent boys...hmmm.

i've already shaved my head, donned my 'asteral robe', and given my worldly possessions to my cult's prophet. other than drive my vintage VW van to california, whatta' i gotta do to finish off my karmic debt and ascend heavenward?



posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 04:13 AM
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wait just a minute...
we may be missin' something here. maybe we at ATS need to get together and start our own church. think about it... we'd pay no taxes, we could make our own religious holidays (think days off work!), and we could make all new members tithe.
if an idiot like dat wacko in wako could amass a compound, think what a goup of smart people like us coould accomplish? we could even abuse littel boys and then pay off the victims to cover it up...nah, too catholic. but the rest of it holds promise.


and yes, i DO know the flak i'm gonna take about the catholic joke.


something to think about...


Boots out.



posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 05:57 AM
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july 6 is my birthday



posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 06:43 AM
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oh boy, i'm gonna take this information to the bank,.. NOT!!! what EVER....but hey, everyone is entitled to thier opinion, right.



posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 06:45 AM
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How many people that are taking this seriously actually bothered to READ the thread? As Byrd pointed out, THIS IS A PARODY. This group is making fun of the UFO cults that have popped up over the years. They're not predicting the end of the world (at least not seriously).



posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 08:57 AM
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Do people really need to make fun of others so bad that they make fun of others that are making fun of others?

Here...Make it Easy for You...Read

The original concept was making fun of Religious Fundamentalists. Which, of course, are just UFO cults in disguise.

For the love of "Bob"!

Ask forgiveness of your sins so the church can give you brand new sins. And if you really "get it" then you may just realize there's a much deeper message wrapped up in the silly humor that is the Church of the SubGenius.

If not then you may want to join the "Dur Dee Durrr" cult.

Praise "Bob"!

[edit on 4/7/2006 by Arm Of Geddon]



posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 09:52 AM
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prepare for x-day! july 5th, 1998! it's coming!

2006? huh? mere humes.

praise bob. may the pinks sink into a slackless mire of their own making.




posted on Apr, 7 2006 @ 10:18 AM
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This thread has confirmed to me what I always suspected.

A wide contingent here at ATS read a few post and assume they have enough of the gist to form an informed opinion and post it.

Either that or they really have had way to much of the red koolaid.

Is parody and sarcasm really that hard to conceptualize? Apparently so!!

We are in worse shape than I thought!!

Praise "Bob" we really do need a cleansing.

Shower with a friend or die!!!!



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