Accidents with cheese?

Originally posted by Mindwalker
Whilst grating some Edam I noticed I had also grated two finger nails and the top of one finger !! :shk:

I think I just found your fingernails

Up to now, I've been ok..
BUT...

I think there is a Meunster under my bed.
HELP ME!

Originally posted by Mayet

Originally posted by Mindwalker
Whilst grating some Edam I noticed I had also grated two finger nails and the top of one finger !! :shk:

I think I just found your fingernails

Any chance I can have them back ?????????


Or have you eaten them

Do ye think ye can wait a couple of days on that return, I am sure i can return them to you as good as new.... well almost

Many of these incidents could have been prevented, if only there had been a waiting-period before purchase, and perhaps a training video and computerized self-test

I think this is a valid point, if were going to stop these terrible accidents 'cheese licenensing' has to start playing apart, men as young as 26 are going into retailers everywhere and purchasing gorgonzola....no questions asked.....this has to stop...or at least be governed.

I think when you take a step back and look at the 'innocents'..those people that have been victims of violent cheese related crimes weve got to say enough is enough.

wont someone think of the children?!?!

Originally posted by shadow watcher
wont someone think of the children?!?!

Cheese Children.....

Mini Babybelle cheese.....

What is wrong with you people?

You want to make it harder for us law-abiding people to purchase cheese? The ones who will use it irresponislbly to kill/hurt/maim will still kill/hurt/maim others with it!

Cheese can't movie itself, just like a gun can't shoot its self. Be resonalbe! I don't need the MAN to limit my cheese purchases or intake because he is "thinking of the children." This is just a corporate conspiracy for something...what it is I can't think of yet.

Oh I know! Its a lefty-liberal-democrat conspiracy to take freedoms away! Or is it a right-conservative-republican conspiracy to take freedoms away...I forget which one.

Remember, cheese doesn't kill/hurt/maim people, people using cheese irrisponsibly kill/hurt/maim people.

Originally posted by Mayet
Do ye think ye can wait a couple of days on that return, I am sure i can return them to you as good as new....

well almost

A couple of days !!!!...................you need to eat more, or maybe you have eaten to much cheese !!!

I will have to induce you................. hang on I dont know if thats what I mean.............well I am tired !!

I will have a few tinnies while I wait :w::w::w::w::w::w::w::w::w::w::w:

Originally posted by hatchedcross

Remember, cheese doesn't kill/hurt/maim people, people using cheese irrisponsibly kill/hurt/maim people.

No ... *shakes head......*looks around suspiciously... *leans closer....*whispers... It's the cheese, it has a mind of its own, it grows and grows until it speaks to you and makes you do wicked deeds, absolutely wicked bad deeds......

I think we need tagging and licensing laws, immediately.

Scientists can implant nanochips that will set off a detector so that we'll know if terrorists are trying to smuggle cheese through random checkpoint.

And a waiting period before hard cheese can be purchaseed.

Maybe requiring an inspection sticker for graters, knives and wire 'guilotines'.

I'm founding an organization to pressure politicians for such laws, but it needs a name. Help, please!

Cheesanity Now
Cheese Control, Inc.
Save our Stomachs
Lactose Intolerance Front
Dieticians Against Moldy Milk
Stop Whey Today


I'm making signs to carry at crime scenes:

"Look what cheese can do."

If the crime didn't involve cheese (which is rare), you'd carry this placard:

"At least it wasn't cheese."

If it saves the life of just one child, it will have been worth it.

I've heard rumors that American forces have actually used cheese in the Battle of Fallujah. When some stories about this started to leak out, the Bush regime quickly revealed that White Phosphorus weapons had been used so the cheese story would be diluted and, as has been clearly demonstrated, even overlooked.

"At least it wasn't cheese."

LMFAO!

Originally posted by djohnsto77
The most dangerous form of cheese is, of course, fondue. That cauldron of bubbling cheese over an open flame can cause the most profound personal and property damage that you could possibly imagine.

I have to second this. Burned my lip quite badly in a restaurant in Geneva. Didn't impress my boss that much!

CHEESE!........let it all out people...Let it out.

As Hamlet (ham-omlet with cheese) once said:

Ahem! *clears throat*

To cheese, or not to cheese:
that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the cuts and scrapes of outrageous grating,
Or to take arms against a brie with truffles,
And by opposing blend them?

To die: To eat: No more;
and by di-et to say we end the heart-burn
and the thousand natural f*rts
that flesh is heir to; 'tis a consummation
devoutly to be wish'd.


All hail to the Bard!

WALKS THROUGH TIME?...LMFAO...TOOOOO FREAKING FUNNY DUDE!!!

what about all the good things cheese has done for the greater good towards humanity?

It served as a standard when we dropped gold and silver.
It saved timmy from the well.
It saved your crops when you had to pay fines for illegal pollination of engineered seeds.
It built the aquaducts.
Why right now cheese is helping to settles the differences between the Dakotas.

You can eat cheese... but cheese can eat you......




Say Cheese.....

I never thought that a cheese accident could happen to me.....and I'm talking about a REAL cheese accident.

My wife had a board meeting to go to so dinner was up to me. Instead of rounding up the kids and driving them to the local fast "food" joint, I decided to be clever and to cook up a "real" meal. You know, meat, potatoes and, for a side dish, cauliflower in cheese sauce.

Jake, my 13 year old, decided to give me a hand in the kitchen since were a couple of guys, "batching" it. I didn't want to go through the hassle of making a real cheese sauce like my wife makes so I decided to use cheese whiz.....melted in a microwave, it makes for a quick easy cheesy topping for the cauliflower. So I told Jake to put the cheese whiz in the microwave and to zap it for about three minutes or so.

When I heard the explosion, I knew that I should have also told Jake to unscrew the top of the jar. Man you have absolutely no idea how hard it is to remove melted cheese whiz from, well, everything. NASA ought to use this stuff to keep those heat tiles firmly affixed to the space shuttle. It was truly awful......I really mean AWFUL.

A real "cheese accident". Who knew? So be careful, it could happen to you!