Accidents with cheese?

ok.....its quite common and can hurt......

i have revieved the following injuries from cheese:-

a nasty graze from some Brie......

a leg lasseration from cheddar......

an eye injury from philedelphia....

what injuries have other members recieved from cheese, or dairy products in general?

Regards.

I slipped over some mozarella and did my medial ligament bad damage...

Whilst grating some Edam I noticed I had also grated two finger nails and the top of one finger !! :shk:

Whilst grating some Edam I noticed I had also grated two finger nails and the top of one finger !!

you my friend, are quite frankly....lucky to be alive.

cheese...the silent killer.

Some strign cheese tried to strnagle me once...... and then some like fancy french stuff tried to stab me to death I'm lucky I escaped with only a few large scars and45 stitches....

Optimus

Thank you for bringing to light the potential lethal characteristics of cheese, you might actually be doing the public some good by alerting us to the dangers of this 'silent killer' as you so aptly named it.

I have a horrid tale of my own having to do with Epoisses de Bourgogne, which was voted France's smelliest cheese; so smelly, so potent, it was banned on public transport and you know how the French like to travel with cheese...

Anyway, I was preparing this palatable, smelly goodness to go with some crusty bread and grapes, when suddenly I was so overwhelmed by the smell, I passed out and hit my head on the counter. I had to have 4 stitches on the back of my head and months of therapy to allow me to let go of the lactose nighmares. I still have the mental scars to prove it.

I am lucky to be alive and tell the tale! But if it will help someone else, please use my tale.


[edit on 12-11-2005 by nikelbee]

The most dangerous form of cheese is, of course, fondue. That cauldron of bubbling cheese over an open flame can cause the most profound personal and property damage that you could possibly imagine.

Almost choked on a dairy lee triangle yesterday morning.

(not sure if that counts as cheese though...)

I've choked a few times. But Dj is right, fondue.

A friend of mine will die in eight minutes if he ingests more than a miniscule amount of dairy.

My dog gets really gassy if he eats any cheese (although that's more of an accident as in, 'oops, was that me?').

Thank you all for sharing these dark dairy based memories, i appreciate it may have opened old wounds for you all.

I think we can clearly see that caution is to be exercised at all times when dealing with some of even the milder cheeses.

Next week i will be evaluating the safety precautions needed when dealing with jam's and marmalades.....until then.....take care and be safe.

Regards.

Can i just add, before optimus researches jam's and marmalades, that i once got bad burns to the roof of my mouth from a toasted cheese sandwich.

A tasty cheddar was the culprit.

This isnt so much an accident but a consequense of eating cottage cheese.

Some people will never learn.



:shk::shk::shk:


Mod Edit: to remove offensive image

[edit on 17-11-2005 by kinglizard]

I've choked on cheese before, took me about 15 seconds to cough it up, but it was still scary at the time. I forgot what type of cheese though.

I work at a pizzaria a few days a week to make some under-the-table-cash while I collect Unemployment. Yes I am leaching the system, but I've paid taxes so might as well get some of those dollars back right??

So grating cheese is an almost every day occurrance at the pizzeria. It's usually the delivery drivers that do most of the daily preps at the restaraunt, cheese grating incleuded. Well needless to say most of them are immigrants from the middle east and some of them are hard core muslims with beards, Hajs we call them.

So anyway this older driver named Ahmed was grating cheese and one of the cooks was talking to him from the front of the store so he lost his focus on what he was doing. The next thing you know his beard is being pulled into the industrial grater with the blocks of cheese he is cutting. Fortunately the machine has a fail safe button which can be easily pressed from the front of the machine, and he hit it. So there Ahmed is, his face pulled close to the grater, half of his foot long beard has been grated in with the cheese. He is losing it and cursing in Arabic. The cooks and other drivers are laughing so hard we are falling over, nobody can contain themselves. One of the drivers grabs the pail of cheese and pulls it out for the rest of us to see, and there are these gray and black hairs all mixed in with the cheese. We laugh harder, we can't breath, and Ahmed is losing it because we aren't helping him get free. He is tugging on his beard, but his efforts are futile. This makes us laugh so hard we aren't laughing anymore, we are asphyxiating! Finally someone grabs a knife and cuts him loose. His beard has now become a goatee. He was not happy at all.

And after all of this - the head cook wants to keep the cheese (because it is so expensive, $200 - 300 bucks a box) and he orders one of the other drivers to pick out all the hair. The driver says he will quit if he has to do this: "I will not pick beard out of cheese!!". Anyways, long story short, it was one of the funniest cheese related accidents I have ever seen, and YES, we ended up throwing out the cheese.

Robin that was the funniest thing I have read all day.
I too was a grater many moons ago, and it greatly helped me visualize this story.

btw, was this guy angry at americans enough to say...become a terrorist?
Because a remember a certain string cheese incident.....

I use to work in a cheese factory packaging cheese, I was put out of work for some time because I killed my back lifting the boxes. (Culprit - all kinds of cheese)

Also,

I was accused of stealing cheese from the pizza place I use to work at.. almost tarnished my reputation.. but seriously.. just because I like cheese doesn't mean I steal the stuff!! (Culprit - Mozerella)



[edit on 11/17/2005 by JeSuisAKittyCat]

Behold the Power of cheese!!

While I've not had a "life-threatening incident" involving cheese
(unless you count scraped knuckles from grating cheddar), these stories
are tooo funny to pass up!!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all!!
I needed a good laugh today!

It is bad enough when cheeses are left unattended, where innocent children might pick one up in play, and bring doom upon the house . . .

But have you guys addressed the wreckless endangerment, the maimings and deaths caused by cheese.

Wasn't there a death at an SCA event several years ago, when some errant "knights" in a makeshift castle poured fondue down on their attackers?

I was once almost blinded by a Mad Greek, who pelted me with Feta for kissing is daughter . . . .

Not to mention the industrial accidents:

Workers crushed beneath runaway cheesewheels. Scrubbers in a Lumberger vat succumbing to the fumes. Appendages painfully lodged in the voids of swiss.

And the consumer casualties:

A recent immagrant, poor soul, who couldn't read the label, and mistook a wedge of Havarti for a bar of hypoallergenic soap.

A picnic-er attacked by ants after profligate mis-use of cheez-whiz.

Infected gums, were caraway seeds hidden in a brie became lodged in a victim's dentrifice.

A Yankee traveler in the American Southwest, who unknowingly smeared a double-mouthful of Jalapeno Jack on her bagel, thinking it was Philly Cream-cheese.

Japanese tourists, mistaking cubed guyierre for tofu. Allergy-induced coma.


Many of these incidents could have been prevented, if only there had been a waiting-period before purchase, and perhaps a training video and computerized self-test.


They'd be alive today, if not for YOU!

.

I recall as a child watching the million mom march against the 4 cheese intergrations of the late 60's. As we all know you cant force 4 types of cheese to live together and not expect some bloodshed. Dangerous times.