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guys and porno...why?

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posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 12:42 AM
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I agree with you about the magazines..however my peeve with them is that the way they merchandize these women is obscene and pornographic ..right down to the pictures and articles.
I read cosmo and take the quizzes. They are awful and self serving. A real tredmill. Dont worry ..Maxim is the same style for men..it's awful.

" How to lose 40 lbs in two days without work"

Imagine a article in Handyman magazine for men.."How to build this walnut dresser in 40 minutes without work"

"Sizzling sex tips for advanced garage construction."

In these articles they are telling these women what simpletons the men are ...carte blanche. And they are correct...and its pornographic. obscene.
Why would a intelligent woman ..want to use such strategys on men who are simpletons.?? Especially an independent , talented , multitasking woman. What is the message about men in "Sex in the City"??? Remember ..none of this is visual?? Lol lol lol.

I keep thinking of a woman I know who had...that .....good grief... ..what do they call that when they suck that stuff out from just under your skin. You know ..that fatty stuff. Its not visual you understand. Neither are those implants.!! I feel pity for this woman...she is going into her sixtys now..no real life skills outside of the sexual /visual arena. We call this "high maintanence." She bought into this mantra...wholesale..

Thanks,
Orangetom




posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 01:45 AM
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hey orange,

what was so telling about my comment? i dont think i see where you are coming from when you said that


I do have friends that are girls just not alot. that doesnt mean im butch or something lol. just girls can be caddy, especially around my age bracket.

Kind regards,
DigitalGrl



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 02:04 AM
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What are you getting at Orange? What is so wrong with porn? I didn't have a problem with it, just when Skitz(Ex) would take mine without telling me, but since she usually let me get at her collection no problem.

Women like porn as much as men do they just don't admit it, like masturbation, anyone who tell you they don't masturbate is a lieing masturbator.



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 09:45 AM
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I have no problem with your comment about not having many friends who are girls. I think it is great. This is telling of the fact that you dont seem to enjoy being surrounded by whining women who whine because they have little power and control over the manner their lives are taking...ie..girl stuff power over men. I am not saying that you dont know or identify with this..just that you seem to know or sense something about it ..the women around you and dont really care for alot of it...well done.
A well balanced woman or man is ok..in their lives..with or without a partner..having or not having a partner is not the crux of what they are here for in thier daily lives. They will not fold up and blow away if they dont have a partner. They are balanced!!
To me the issue of porn with a woman is a sign of insecurity in themselves. To have such security they must have a certain control over another or they Psychologically must, by this means, establish a certain value concerning themseslves in the marketplace and among the other women or they are not complete as a woman/female. This is value concerning themselves through a man....not themselves integrating by their own labor or assets into real value in the marketplace...this is psuedo value.
I have told many a woman who try to work this system on me.."I dont have time for your insecuritys." Grow up. Most of them dont get it..they think there is something wrong with me that I dont jump through most of their hoops or do so timely. Clues and cues.
AT some level you seem to be aware of this as manifested through whining/drama. Hence the lack of girl friends...well done. I dont have much use for women or men of "drama" It is a sign of powerlessness in their lives. To overcome this they must establish power over others. As I said..psychologically .to establish value concerning themselves in the marketplace.
This is the social role....or trend in many relationships..no matter what many claim.

By the way..I told my woman last weekend ..that she will have to pay all expenses for the fall trip... The conversation just broke right down...I cant imagine why.?? Can you ???

Nevertheless ..when you posted that you dont have many friends who are girls..this is what I understood. You do not find many women with the fingerprint you describe. Well done..


Thanks,
Orangetom



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 09:57 AM
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Originally posted by Tinkleflower
"The girl plays at sex, for which she is not ready, because fundamentally what she wants is love; and the boy plays at love, for which he is not ready, because what he wants is sex". - Mary Calderone.

I remember that being in a textbook we had at school in Religious Education class (of all things).

That's just what sprung to mind re-reading this thread.

Tinkleflower, is this similar to the textbook you recall?


Sanc'.



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 10:07 AM
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I dont have a problem with porn per se..What you do or dont do with it is your buisness and responsibility.

I merely illustrate by my postings that not just men are bombarded by it and enjoy it but women to..far more than men. It is just that womens pornography is marketed in manners that are more subtle and not obvious to the standard "Oil shortage" oriented/unthinking male. They are out to lunch on this. The males need to wise up....alot.
The manner in which sex is used or misused to keep women on the treadmill...is pornographic to me..and from a young age...much younger than men. And it is a treadmill in which most..males and females are unawares.
I dont spend such time ..in pornography. It is not that difficult to get women to come over. A man should, If he is in fact a man, never have a oil shortage out of control such that he spends such a inordinate amount of time on this stuff. I know a number of women ..for whom outside of their jobs .that is all they seem to know...how to take off their clothes. Pitiful!!
Another illustration..to me ..clearly... is that video of that child Jon Bonet Ramsey...before she was killed. Her mother entering her into beauty contests had her dressed up as a adult. It was awful and to me pornographic/obscene. It was obvious to me that much of her childhood was being lost to her mothers expectations and views fantasys ...beliefs. In the name of beauty contests. Sick!
This is obscene. Especially in such a young tender age.
Keep a eye on this thing going on about women or teachers seducing minors or their students..this is much more common than is mentioned in the news. It is just not often spoken about ..it is only a male thing. Rigggggghhhhhhhhttttttttttt!!!!!!!!
My point is that porn is a much wider view and encompasses a much larger behavior pattern than even "experts" are wont to tell.

Thanks,
Orangetom



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 10:28 AM
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Women can be "caddy " even into older ages. Many do not give up this "caddy " fingerprint. They continue to look for new ways to reinforce this behavior. Which is part and parcel of what you describe as " caddy". They merely change the manner in which the strategy is used. Same with men of "drama". They just get more sophisticated in applying it.
Oh....and I never once thought you were buch..not hardly. I just sensed that you are not totally seduced by the Girl stuff religion to the degree of many of the women you know.
I have been around women who are "butch" so to speak. If you are awake and not having your head totally up your backside..you can often tell. Not always ..but often. Women pick up on this much faster than most men even have a clue. They are much more and subtily aware of this in sexualty than most men can even fathom.

Thanks for your posts,
Orangetom



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 10:28 AM
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Originally posted by sanctum
(page from book)

Sanc'.


Nope...I think what you showed there was "The Rules" (I think that's the title...the book was from the 50s, I think..not the 1990s book by Ellen Fein) right? I do have a copy of that around somewhere...for "bring it out for a giggle" purposes


The book to which I'm referring was a textbook used for a Christian Contemporary Issues class in high school; the piece itself was written by Mary Calderone, but I'm fairly certain she didn't actually edit the textbook itself.

If I can find it....I'll post the details.

High school was awhile ago



[edit on 16-8-2005 by Tinkleflower]



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 10:30 AM
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How can women get turned on by all these guys in porn films? The dudes are all pasty and they have long hair like Fabio. Besides that they're all switch-hitters.
Those movies are made for men, not women.

Peace



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 10:36 AM
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Originally posted by Dr Love
How can women get turned on by all these guys in porn films? The dudes are all pasty and they have long hair like Fabio. Besides that they're all switch-hitters.
Those movies are made for men, not women.

Peace


Who said the women were looking at the men?!



Even girls who like boys can like looking at other girls...



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 10:40 AM
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No problem there Tinkle! It's your world, I'm just livin' in it.


I'm just relaying what my g/f's opinions are. And from a man's point of view I'd have to agree with her.

Peace



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 11:36 AM
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I am going to illustrate by this narrative the manner in which my thinking pattern works. Particularly in the arena of obscenity and pornography.

I have a male friend for whom I have known for over twenty years. He is not cut out to be alone in this world and lack of a partner just kills him. Aloneness just wears him out. I have told this to him since his last episode of drama in his life. Women spot him out from the crowd like a radar in the dark.

He has been married now four times. The last two were fiascos. He is primarily at fault in the last two for not knowing better. A real dummy and he knows it.
He is my friend and I have a certain love and respect for him and pray that he would some day find a woman worthy of his time and who will be able to sufficiently round out the rest of his days.

Now my friend between his third and fourth wife...dated alot of women. He also worked alot of overtime and was able to pay off his home and even install a swimming pool and a garage. No small accomplishment now days. He finally told me one day..after dating about five different women.

"What I finally learned is that these women come over here with their children..and see what they can get for themselves and their children not what they need to bring me. They keep dangling the sex as if it is the ticket to success for them. It's like it is the only tool they have in their tool bag."

Now Digitalgirl..this is a "caddy situation." It is even obscene and pornographic. These women just dont get it outside of the settings on their dials. They are out to lunch. They offer him anything but real value. They want to offer him..their view of value not his. Understand??? This is the obscenity/pornography carried to its ultimate conclusion in behavior.
This is the very foundation of male disposability and expendibality....and many males eat it up with a spoon in non thinking dumbness. Understand now about a male being expected to pick up on clues and cues.??? Replacing his value system with hers...in exchange for what???? What do they really offer for access to all these goodies for which he has worked so hard. This is the obscenity ..pornography. Understand?? I hope and pray that you do.

Pornography...access to dreams , fantasys, expectations cheaply and without rejection ..also include without work.

Now contrast this explanation with what women get in these television/movie senerios and the quizzes in magazines hidden sexuality ..etc etc etc..ad naseum. Also how to acquire it..

The world of women in this avenue is very "implicit" in how to accomplish this goal. It is not explicit as is the world of men. My friend knows exactly and explicity what he had to do and give up to get where he is at. The sacrafices he has made. With these women the access to these goodies for them and thier children is" implicit"...on sexuality/girl stuff religion. Understand.??? Only a man can be so dumb he doesnt get it ..cause I can assure you the women do get it. By far...way far so than is done by even educated men of letters. What a dumb bunch of men.

I understand clearly that these women are trying to survive ..with their children. But the method ..the strategy is obscene and pornographic. It is just not socially acceptable because of the ignorance and unawareness of many to speak of it in this manner. Where did they learn this lifestyle and how and when was it reinforced into such obscene behavior patterns.??

Now I will further tell you that my friend thought he could get a good woman by going to church..this would be where the good Godly women were to be found. I sense that you even in your tender age..know better than this one...and can see through the falseness of this assumption clearly.
He got a wolf in sheeps clothing. A real vulture a parasite. They have since split and he got possession of his house as of last Friday. The rest of this disaster will have to be dealt with in the courts. This too was obscene...but He is not innocent in this. He is quite guilty based on his dumbness and ignorance. This too is obscene and pornographic but he is not guiltless in this and he knows it.
I have told him that he severely needs to grow up and build a better filter/strainer network so as to clearly filter out all the wildlife in its natural habitat.

Anyway..I hope you understand some of the thinking pattern I use and understand when I see certain behaviors. Not what one gets normally out here in this world full of "wildlife" and acceptability. I understand that I am not stamped out as are most men. Contrasting this thinking with what Zeddicus and others post illustrates this clearly and if I reacall Zeddicus has stated so in one their posts.

Thanks for your time and views,
Orangetom



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 11:48 AM
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While I was working on my long narrative you posted"

"Who said the women were looking at the men?!"

" Even girls who like boys can like looking at other girls... "

I would find myself hard pressed to debate the opposite position on this one. Well done. Bravo.

Thanks,
Orangetom



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 12:35 PM
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Originally posted by orangetom1999
Now my friend between his third and fourth wife...dated alot of women.

Has he actually been friends with any? If he did he might have a chance of understanding them on different levels.

He also worked alot of overtime and was able to pay off his home and even install a swimming pool and a garage. No small accomplishment now days. He finally told me one day..after dating about five different women.

"What I finally learned is that these women come over here with their children..and see what they can get for themselves and their children not what they need to bring me. They keep dangling the sex as if it is the ticket to success for them. It's like it is the only tool they have in their tool bag."


Sounds like he keeps taking the bait though.
No offence.. but he sounds shallow. First.. it sounds like he went for the sexual fantasy repetitively [going by what you've posted].. then he went for the 'homemaker/goodgirl' fantasy.. if someone is looking for are illusions thats all they'll see [my that is profound
]. Going to church to find the right kind of girl? I can understand the logic to an extent but women aren't exactly catergerised by 'Nightclub=slut' 'church=virgin'. Fanstasies are fantasies whether she's wearing a leather teddy in the bedroom or an apron in a 1950s style kitchen with a pot roast. He'll keep getting suckered in by actresses so long as he keeps advertising for them and has 'sucker' written on his forehead. Sorry to sound harsh but I've warned both guys and girls from opportunists before [yes guys can play the game just as well- they just have a different set of rules] but they get so taken in with 'the dream' [whether it be sex kitten/MrsBeaver or knight in shining armour] that they don't want to see reality. Hopefully these people [your friend included] will start seeing potential lovers as people and potential friends first and foremost than their 'ideal' man/woman.

[edit on 16-8-2005 by riley]



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 07:29 PM
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Hey ppl,
thanks again for all the great posts.

orange,
i wasnt offended or anything...i REALLY just wasnt sure what you meant..so i asked
i think you make great points. I have heard of many woman being the way that your friend experienced. My boyfriends sister in laws mother (lol) is like that. shes been divorced 2 times. and dates alot then gets mad at her daughter because she doesnt want to have her moms boyfriends coming around her family on certain occassions because my boyfriends brother (whom she is married to obviously) and her have 2 children together under the age of 3. you cant just have random guys coming over for a birthday party handling your children right?! anyways as i was saying, her mother has decided that she is not going to date middle class men anymore she wants to only date rich men because she wants security in her life and thats all that matters. my gosh talk about a gold digger. and what makes me sick as that she claims to be a christian..she goes to one of those assemblies of God churches, and she is constantly throwing this holier than thou crap around, judging people and she acts like this. although. my bf's sister in law is pretty much the same way...except for the dating around part and stuff. and i dont like her either lol. im a christian but my actions are on my head and unless im hurting someone else i dont need someone telling me that watching the tv show friends is unchristian. (yep his sister in law told me that) , and while i do have conservative ideals , like this porno stuff, I would say my biggest pet peeve are woman who claim to be "woman of God" and so innocent and then act like these woman that your friend encountered. But i cant judge them for it. all i can say is "im not going to act like that". annd be the best that i can be because we are all flawed....and i dont want Gods' job.
I will say that meeting people that act like that though make me thankful for my parents. sometimes they seem so intrusive like parents tend to seem, but at least my parents set morals for me that actually make sense.

Anyway,

That snippet from that textbook was ridiculous...."a little moan would be nice to let him know he's satisfied you" WTF??? that almost sounds like some hardcore southern baptist teachings ya know? (no offense) but you get what i mean. and then to top it all off im supposed to get up earlier than him after a night of lame sex and make his tea or coffee. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH thats hillarious.. if i was ever with a man that was that selfish, he would be awoken the next morning at 4am with 20 alarm clocks ringing in his ear and spam and spoiled milk for breakfast.


Kind regards,
DigitalGri



posted on Aug, 16 2005 @ 07:33 PM
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Well, keep in mind that the textbook Sanc quoted was originally from the 50s...things were just a little different then.

I remember my gran reading it and laughing her butt off at some of the suggestions. And she got married in 1944



posted on Aug, 17 2005 @ 12:35 AM
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Good to see you on this thread. I agree he is somewhat shallow and in fantasy land in his choice of women. This is why I told him he needs a better filter strainer.

The woman to whom he was married before this one ...has since passed away. I think his widowhood made him extreamly vulnurable to a womans company and wiles. This is why I say he is not guiltless in this buisness. I dated his third wife before him and I quit seeing her when I figured out that she was grooming me for a job opportunity but had so little to actually offer for the level of commitment she was going to expect and take for granted in me. She was a gold digger too.
I wanted so badly to let him know ..but she had woven the drug so deeply into his soul ..I thought at the time he would think I was trying to keep her for myself when it was no such thing. She was one of those older women I spoke of in a previous post. These two women were master operators on a dumb genre of men and there are plenty of them out there..dumb men willing to "perform" for a womans attention. I have told him many times you have to get out of alot of that "trying out for female approval attitude you seem to have especially in a multitasking world."
I do believe he just wants a good woman with whom he can grow olde. In his younger days perhapsed more fantasy. Mostly I think he is naive in how he thinks or expects. He needs to figure out how to expect alot more out of them in performance levels in order to weed out the unacceptable ones.
I have never believed that you can find a good woman in church per se. This is a really dumb oversight on his part. I am sure there are some in church but if you know how certain facets of the " Girl stuff religion" work..they hold this in much more value than bible teachings depending on the character of the woman of course. Women too can be wolves in sheeps clothing.
YOu can do just as good or bad in a bar if you know how to filter them out as in church.
I hope that in his desperation he does not make himself vulnurable again to a rerun of the same drama.

Thanks for your post Riley,
Orangetom



posted on Aug, 22 2005 @ 01:33 AM
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guys and porno...why?


You are aware there are naked women in porn, right?



posted on Aug, 22 2005 @ 02:14 AM
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Esoteric,
you apparently didnt read through the thread....it isnt why does every guy look, its about why do guys in a relationship with someone whom they claim to love look at porn when they know their partner is uncomfortable with it and they promise not to. If u read through my whole initial post, it is talking specifically about an issue with my friend ashley and her bf. OBVIOUSLY they look to see naked woman...i was asking from the specific relationship scenario i gave.

you have to read the posts to make sure your answer really adds something to the post.


Kind Regards,
DigitalGrl



posted on Aug, 22 2005 @ 08:10 AM
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Naked women ..what a revelation!!!!! lol lol lol ...naked women!!


Thanks Orangetom



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